Too much pizza and candy
by Lellida
Summary: Things turn crazy on halloween. A groups of teens winds up on... Mount Olympus? COMPLETE!
1. Transportations

It was Halloween night, and things seemed to be a bit out of control. On a couch sat three blondes, one with long wavy hair, one that could pass for a brunette, and another with glasses. Sitting on the floor was a tallish brunette, and a redhead. No one here seemed nutty, but perhaps it was the two chasing each other around the house while everyone else laughed hysterically was what set the mood. It seemed the taller of the two was winning. The other one, panting, decided to sit down in the living room. Right on top of the redhead.  
  
"Megan!" she cried. "Can't..breathe...  
  
" The one named Megan giggled, obviously pleased with her torture. The one she had been chasing came in as well. Megan's eyes narrowed. "I'll get you Liz." She said, still a little out of breath. Liz just smiled.  
  
"Of course Megan, of course."  
  
The tall brunnette on the floor laughed. "Too bad Colleen isn't here."  
  
"Well SHE ditched US." The redhead said in mock annoyance. "She must pay the penalty of not being her-ooof! MEGAN!!" With that she pushed Megan off of her, and rolled over. Megan pouted for a second, then proceeded to the couch to sit on the three there. The blondes had other ideas however, and Megan was rolled from one lap to another. She cursed them in turn.  
  
"Katie! Damn you Lauren. Ow! Aubrey!"  
  
Suddenly the doorbell rang. "PIZZA!" Everyone yelled unanimously, while running to the door. Liz reached it first, since she was already standing, and this was her house.  
  
After the poor confused pizza guy had given them their pizza and taken the money, the seven girls sat happily in various places, munching on food. Suddenly the tall brunette started giggling. Everyone turned to stare.  
  
"What the heck Nicole?"  
  
Nicole just shook her head. "Poor pizza guy, he looked very confused."  
  
The redhead smiled. "He was probably new. Poor guy. At least we didn't suck the blood out of him and rip off the outside of his flesh." Everyone gave her a disgusted look.  
  
"Lindsay, you are nasty." Said one of the blondes. Lindsay fake bowed.  
  
"So are you Katie. Don't talk." Katie let out an offended sigh and commenced to eating her pizza.  
  
Suddenly the room went all green, and started to spin. Colleen randomly appeared in the room, looking very confused. Before anyone could do anything, they were all dumped onto what looked like a gigantic cloud. A voice behind them suddenly made them jump.

"BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ALL MIGHTY OR PERISH!!!!!!!"  
  
_To be continued. _


	2. realizations

All of the girls whirled around, coming face to face with a blinding light. Doing what they were told, all eight girls threw themselves to the ground. When the light didn't stop glowing, they slowly got to their feet, eyes watering. It was Lindsay who first spoke.  
  
"Where's Sonomi?"  
  
"Right here" came a small voice. A girl with black hair raised her hand. Poor Sonomi had been coming out of the bathroom when the greenish light hit her. Well, at least they knew it wasn't the pizza.  
  
It seemed that the light didn't pose any threat aside from blindness so the girls started to relax, and talk a bit. "So how did you get here Colleen?" they inquired.  
  
Colleen scowled. "We were watching Signs, and it had just gotten to a really scary part. I was waiting to see what happened… AND THIS HAPPENED!"  
  
As everyone else backed away to avoid her wrath, the strange light spoke again. Actually it yelled at them all. "YOUR ARE NOT GROVELLING!!! GROVEL I SAY! GROVEL!!!!!" The once again terrified teens fell to the ground, faces pressing into the cloud below them. The voice continued to yell at them, when suddenly it was cut off with a loud shriek. The light faded. Slowly the girls looked up.  
  
Standing where the light had been was a rather cross looking old man. He seemed incredibly strong, but the hair on his head was pure white. He wore what looked like a toga, of the darkest purple, with gold medallions sewn into the hems. He was holding his ear, and looking extremely annoyed. Next to him stood a woman. She wore a midnight blue floor length dress, with a cape made entirely out of peacock feathers. On her head sat a delicate crown of turquoise and emerald. Her expression was a cross between a smug grin, and a furious scowl. Everyone in the group instinctively back up.  
  
"Who are you?" Megan asked.  
  
The woman actually smiled. "Don't you know who we are? I'm sure one of you must."  
  
The old man nodded his head. "Yes, don't offend me or you shall suffer my wrath again."  
  
The girls wracked their brains. In the distance, a sound that was unmistakably the Jeopardy song played. Finally Lindsay looked up. "You look like Hera and Zeus." She said simply. The woman smiled and suddenly the cloud everyone was standing on flew off into oblivion.  
  
_ok, the next chapter actually makes sense and isn't random fluff. Bare with me _


	3. designations

_Gasp! I forgot to say who my inspiration was! _smacks self over head _SumiFritzN. Go to her fanfiction page. Her "roadtrip" story inspired me to write this. Yes that's right- SumiFritzN. GO. After you're done reading mine…_

_Update: Everything in italics is thought._

As the cloud was speeding off, Hera was busy lecturing Zeus. None of the girls could really hear what she was saying, as the wind was whipping past them so fast, but the names "Hercules" and "Io" came up, as did "Dionysus. " and "Leto". They could only assume that Hera was busy telling Zeus about all the woman he had slept with, and what had happened. Fortunately the cloud ride wasn't very long, as Zeus was getting a bit agitated. They came to a stop in front of a huge cloud mass, just as Hera was finishing her sentence. "And you expect every mortal female to bow down as soon as you start to glow and yell at them. Women are not your servants you know, and one day we will-" but that was as far as she got before serenely gliding off the cloud and walking onto the stopping location. The teenagers looked at each other. Well, this is rather awkward, they all thought, suddenly surprised that they could hear each other's thoughts.   
  
_What the hell just happened? _thought Megan. Everyone else just shrugged, confused.   
  
_I don't know, but it's kinda cool! _replied a smiling Nicole.   
  
The other eight suddenly grabbed their ears, mentally howling in pain. Nicole looked confused.   
  
_What?  
_  
Lindsay cringed. _Aghh- You've got Hillary Duff songs running through your head! _she moaned.   
  
Nicole laughed out loud, receiving strange glances from Hera and Zeus. "It seems the transformation has already begun my dear." Said Zeus.   
  
"Don't call me dear. Yes I believe it has." Replied Hera. " Come girls, you must get inside before anything else happens."   
  
Katie raised an eyebrow. "Anything else?" she said, "What's happening to us? What do you mean, transformation?" Hera just sighed.   
  
"Follow me" she said stiffly, and she walked right through the towering cloud in front of them all.   
  
All nine girls looked at each other, then at a rather impatient looking Zeus behind them. Sonomi shrugged, and stepped through the cloud first. Everyone looked at her in astonishment. Then Lauren went through, followed by Liz, Katie, Nicole, Lindsay, Aubrey, Megan, and Colleen. Once inside the cloud, they were instructed to close their eyes until told otherwise. Lindsay, Nicole, Liz and Sonomi all felt a hand grasp them, pulling them along. Aubrey, Lauren, Katie, Megan and Colleen felt the same, although the occasional butt slapping and pinching by the invisible hands was a bit more apparent in that group. Finally, the teens were stopped, and made to stand still. Then they heard. "Open your eyes."  
  
Everyone tentatively opened an eye, then another in amazement. They were in a great hall that seemed to have no ceiling. The walls were of pure gold, and the floor was a vast mosaic of emerald, diamonds, sapphires, and other precious gems. A soft "ahem" was heard and all nine turned their goggling eyes to the scene in front of them. Sitting on pure silver thrones sat beings. They looked like humans, but one could instantly tell that they were of a higher species. Eleven of these beings, five girls, six guys, were seated, while another male with wings stood, and a woman bent over a fire burning in the middle of the room. All thirteen watched the band of astonished girls, eyes disapproving, waiting. It was Katie who spoke first. "Ya know, those silver chairs with these walls look really tacky."  
  
"Katie! You fool!" cried Liz, as she dashed over and clamped a hand over Katie's mouth.   
  
"Mhpth!" wailed the poor blonde. _Liz, what the hell are you doing?! What did I do?!   
  
_Liz shook her head and sighed. _You don't insult gods Katie! They'll smite you or something! _Katie rolled her eyes.   
  
_This isn't real _she thought stubbornly. _It's just a hallucination brought on by too much pizza and candy   
_  
"They can do that to you?" asked Megan.   
  
The rest of the group was wondering as well. Did too much junk food really cause one to hallucinate that she was in the great hall of the gods, Mount Olympus? The question required some thinking. Before any of them could dwell on it much longer, and impatient Katie pulled Liz's hand away from her mouth.  
  
"Look, I'll show you." she said, exasperated. "This is an illusion, like a dream, so I can do basically what ever I want. I'm going to fly now. Watch me." And with that she started running around the hall, randomly flapping her arms and squawking like a diseased parakeet. The others just looked at her in astonishment. The crazy child stopped for a second, looked at their faces, nearly fell to the floor laughing, then resumed her sporadic dancing.   
  
_Wow _thought Lauren _Even I'm not this crazy   
  
Yes Lauren, you are _came the chorus of voices in her head.   
  
"Shut up!" she said out loud.   
  
Suddenly there was a mighty bolt of lighting that sent all the girls, even Katie, to the floor screaming. When they looked up, they were met with an extremely mad looking Zeus, but the rest of the gods seemed to have found the teens amusing. Zeus took a few deep breaths, then began speaking.  
  
"This is not an illusion, o scary chicken one, we have summoned you all here. The reason being is because we have been watching you for some time and have decided that you all have passed the test to become new goddesses." Everyone was shocked into silence. Goddesses?! Suddenly a voice spoke from the back.   
  
"Whaddaya mean watching us, ya perverts?" At Megan's accusation, a few of the gods shifted uncomfortably. The teens all turned a shade of pink. "Ok then" Lindsay said, trying to break the awkwardness. "What do we get to do as goddesses?" Zeus smiled.   
  
"You each get to choose what your reign over. Who would like to choose first?"  
  
Aubrey, who hadn't said anything yet, ran forward and struck a pose. "I'm going to be the goddess of peasant blouses." Then she frowned. "No wait, flared jeans." All the gods looked at her blankly. "Holey shorts!" she squealed, getting excited.   
  
_Aubrey  
_  
"Patched pants!"  
  
_Aubrey!   
_  
" Pumps!"  
  
"Or PLATFORMS!"  
  
"AUBREY!!!!"  
  
"What?" she said innocently, turning around.   
  
Nicole giggled. "How about just clothes?" she suggested. Aubrey's face lit up in a smile.   
  
"Hold on- Ensembles in general. Yea that's it. Fo sho. Oh and gansta lingo!" But before she could say anymore, the excited girl was pounced on by the other members of the nine. Zeus, seeing that Aubrey's random fit was over, cautiously motioned one of the goddesses seated behind him to forward. This goddess had red hair that fell to her shoulders in cascading curls. She wore a metallic dress of gold, and a decorative helmet covered in pieces of ruby. A great horned owl was perched on her right hand. As Aubrey stood up, the goddess turned her steel gray eyes to the girl.   
  
"I am Athena, the goddess of craft, including weaving, war, and wisdom, which includes language." the stern red-head said. "Since the areas that you have decided to reign over are within my field of expertise, I will be your mentor. Come with me." Aubrey nodded, and went to go sit beside Athena at her throne.  
  
"Next" called Zeus.   
  
Lauren walked forward, but nearly fell over because she was laughing so hard. When everyone looked at her, she just laughed hysterically, nearly falling over. Finally she caught her breath. "I'll be the goddess of wishes!" With that she fell to the floor, laughing again. The teens just shook their heads, while the gods looked very confused. Finally, Lindsay went and helped her to her feet.   
  
"Lauren, that's not funny."   
  
The blonde giggled.   
  
"I know."   
  
Lindsay just rolled her eyes and went to rejoin the rest of the group. "OK fine, I'll be the goddess of dateless girls and hot guys." Lauren consented. "HOT guys." She emphasized. Almost immediately another goddess came down from her throne. She was a blonde, with wavy hair pulled elegantly into an intricate bun on the top of her head. She wore a dress of the sheerest and palest pink, with a chemise under it to cover, ahem, parts of her. Draped around her thin arms was a gauzy scarf of shimmering purple. "cough slut cough" whispered Megan as the goddess approached. The blonde shot her a dirty look, then turned her sea blue eyes to Lauren.   
  
"I am Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty. I will be your mentor, teaching you the skills you need."   
  
" Gee, I wonder what." Murmured Megan, but she received another glare from the two blondes, so she shut up. Aphrodite glided back to her seat, Lauren in tow.   
  
As soon as the love goddess sat down, Megan pushed her way through and stood in front of Zeus. "I'm going to be the goddess of punishing stupid guys." She said , unfazed, to his face.   
  
"I'm in."  
  
Two voices, along with their owners, immediately desended from the throng of immortals. Hera nearly ran down to Megan, tiara askew on dark brown hair, followed by another goddess. This one wore a short sensible dress of pure white, with a deer hide strung to her waist. A quiver of silver arrows swung at her back, and she held a gleaming bow. Her raven black hair was tied up on her head, set in place by a blue crown in with a diamond crescent moon on top. She beat Hera to Megan, and stood in front of the brunette, apparently guarding her with her life. "I am Artemis, goddess of the hunt, the moon, and archery."   
  
Hera butted in then. "I am Hera, goddess of marriage, and married woman." Both stood with anticipation, seeing who would get the privilege of smacking down guys with the excuse of being a "teacher".   
  
Megan grinned evilly. "OK, looks like I've got two mentors! All the better for keeping those male pigs in line."   
  
Zeus growled. "Wait a minute, you can't have 2 teachers." Hera , Artemis and Megan glared at him in unison. Zeus sighed and shook his head as the terrible three went and gleefully sat down.  
  
Zeus watched them go, a glint of fear in his eyes. "Anyone else?" he asked timidly.   
  
Nicole hopped forward, ready to talk. Suddenly her eyes lit up and she grinned. _Omygod! Good song in my head! _she said, once again forgetting that everyone could hear her thoughts as well. Fortunately the song, something about a Stacey's mom, wasn't as offending as the Hillary Duff songs, but the gods seemed a bit impatient. When Nicole started to dance around in a circle, they looked down right scared. _Some one make it stop! _wailed Colleen, who obviously didn't like the song. Lindsay narrowed her eyes. Suddenly Nicole's song was overpowered by "Rubber Ducky, you're the one", causing Nicole to stop dancing, trip, and fall over. With an indignant huff, she got to her feet again. "What should I be the goddess of ? I can't decide."  
  
"How about crazy dancing to invisible music?" joked Liz.   
  
Nicole let out a delighted squeal. "YES! That's perfect!" with that, she started dancing around again.   
  
_I would have thought crazy happiness _whispered Sonomi. Nicole let out another squeal and lunged at Sonomi. She engulfed the poor girl in a hug, then turned to face a disturbed Zeus.   
  
" I am Nicole, goddess of crazy insane dancing to invisible music, and extreme happiness!" She yelled gleefully. Then she collapsed on the floor, breathing hard.   
  
Zeus blinked. "Apollo, I think she's yours." An almost blinding golden light descended from a throne and walked over to Nicole.  
  
The light faded, and standing in front of Nicole was one of the hottest guys she had ever seen. He wore a gold toga that glittered when he walked, It went down below his knees, but it conveniently showed much of his well toned and muscular chest. His sandy blonde hair curled ever so slightly next to his ears, framing his tan face and baby blue eyes. He winked at Nicole as she blushed. "I am Apollo." The god said smoothly. "I am the god of the sun, music, and healing. Looks like I'll be your teacher."   
  
_Cool! I get a hot god! _Nicole said  
  
_Shut up! _came the reply.   
  
Nicole just shrugged and place her hand on Apollo's outstretched arm, letting herself be led back to his throne. Megan let out a small grunt, but stopped, remembering that Artemis and Apollo were twins, so she better not insult him now.  
  
Once Nicole was comfortably settled on the sun god's lap, Lindsay stepped forward. "Well?" She asked her friends. The replied came immediately.  
  
"Crazy Socks!"  
  
"Devils!"  
  
"GLITTER"  
  
At the last comment, Lindsay turned to face the grinning Colleen. "Shut UP Eep, just no. No."   
  
"But why not?" Megan yelled from where she was sitting. "You know you should be one of those. They fit you SO Well."   
  
Lindsay glared at the offending monkey, then cleared her throat. "I, Lindsay, will be the goddess of Hermits." Her decision sent Megan nearly running down after her.  
  
"NO FAIR!" she squawked. "I SHOULD BE THAT!!!"   
  
Lindsay just looked disgustedly at Megan. "You get to smite guys. Don't complain."  
  
"Oh fine." Megan huffed, settling back into her seat. Hera and Artemis consoled her, assuring her that smiting guys would be much more fun than being a hermit.   
  
Lindsay looked expectantly at Zeus. "Well, ok. I believe then that Demeter shall be your mentor." He said uncertainly. Demeter descended the stairs to stand next to Lindsay. She was slightly plump, in a motherly way. Her green dress shimmered in the light, decorated by a belt of leaves. Her wavy brown hair went down to her waist. With in it were leaves and flowers intricately braided in. She said not a word, just led a rather confused Lindsay back up to her throne.  
  
A confused Sonomi was ushered up next from the slowly diminishing group of non-goddesses. She furrowed her brow in concentration. All the gods looked on in curiosity. Finally Zeus lost his patience. "MAKE UP YOUR MIND!" he yelled at Sonomi.   
  
The girl gave a surprised squeak, then turned, offended, to the throng of gods. "I'll be the goddess of stuffed animals." At this, all of the gods started laughing. Even the silent Demeter shook from a chuckle. Sonomi just stared at the group. What was wrong with them? The rest of the modern teens were thinking the same thing.   
  
Zeus wiped a tear of mirth out of his eye. "Why would you want to stuff animals?" he chuckled.   
  
Sonomi let out an exasperated sigh. "No, not real animals. Like dolls. Teddy bears." The gods looked confused, but then Athena jumped up.  
  
"I know what you're talking about!" she said excitedly. Then, realizing that everyone was looking at her, she slumped down, face as red as her hair.   
  
Zeus shook his head in amazement. "Well then, I guess we found your tutor." Sonomi smiled and happily skipped over to an awaiting Athena and Aubrey.   
  
Colleen came forward next, but she tripped and let out a nearly ear piercing "EEP!" All the teens laughed, but were suddenly hushed by the presence they saw next to Colleen. There stood a god, tan, tall, with rich brown hair that stood spiked on his head. He was an extremely good-looking god, but he seemed extremely arrogant. Or maybe it was the 'I'm better than you" written across his dark black toga. Everyone but Colleen suppressed a shiver as they saw him. She just frowned at him. "What do YOU want?" she scowled. The god said nothing, just reached out and poked her. Colleen let out another eep, then another as the god gleefully poked her again and again. At last she cried out "Mneih!" and smacked him. It wasn't a hard smack, but it was enough to make the god stop and stare. A "Yea! You go girl!" was heard from Megan, but everyone else remained silent. Finally the god spoke.   
  
"I'm Ares, god of good old fashioned bloody war." Colleen glared at him.   
  
"Grrness upon you."   
  
The excited god actually clapped his hands. "Grrness! I love it! I will be your teacher, and you will be the goddess of tortured sounds. Come on!" With a protesting Colleen in tow, he made his way back to his throne and sat down, pulling an annoyed Colleen onto his lap, randomly poking her again, delighting in her reaction.  
  
Zeus scowled at Ares, who stuck his tongue out and poked Colleen in response.   
  
_Poor Colleen _sighed Nicole.   
  
_Why poor Colleen? It's funny! _laughed Megan. "Ok Katie, you're up next!" Katie just blinked a couple of times, then walked forward.   
  
"Hmm… I want a serious power. How about rain?"   
  
_Boring! _came the response.   
  
_Honestly Katie, think of something creative. _murmured Liz.   
  
Katie growled. "Fine, I'll be the goddess of dancing in the rain."   
  
_ok, better._  
  
"O wait, how about corny jokes too."   
  
_even better! _  
  
"When ever Katie tells a corny joke, the whole earth cries" Lindsay called down.   
  
_SHUT UP _Katie yelled back, laughing as Lindsay cowered in pain at the mental blast she just received. Katie then turned to Zeus. "Who is my teacher? Anyone hot?"   
  
Zeus rolled his eyes. "Hermes for the corny joke bit, and Dionysus for the rain part because it deals with nature." At that Hermes and Dionysus started towards her.   
  
"Aww their not hot!" yelled Katie. "Geesh, I get stuck with the dorks."   
  
_I dunno about you Katie _whispered Aubrey _but that Hermes guy is sizzling_!   
  
Speak for yourself said Colleen _That Dionysus, he's_-EEP!   
  
"Ares!"  
  
"Hehehehehehee"  
  
Hermes came over first, oblivious to Katie's outburst. He was tall, young, and he had an uncanny resemblance to Shane West. With out the beard. He wore what looked like almost a short and shirt combo of white and glittering silver that showed off quite a bit of him, but nothing scandalous. On his feet where the legendary winged sandals, only they looked a bit more like tennis shoes. "I am Hermes, god of crooks, mathematicians, and the messenger god." He said coyly. Dionysus had a sweeter face, his dark brown hair cut short and spiked slightly. Contrary to popular belief, he was not fat, or drunk. He wore a dark purple toga with green trim, and wore a grape vine as a sash. "I, Dionysus, am the god of wine, and nature." He said, while kissing her hand. Katie rolled her eyes. "Take me away nerds." She said under her breath. And that's exactly what they did.  
  
Once Katie was situated, Liz came up. She cleared her throat, and stated her idea. "I am going to be the goddess of random pranks on mortals, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!"   
  
Hermes grinned and flew down next to her. "I'll be your mentor!" he said excitedly, before Zeus could say anything.   
  
Liz grinned. "Hell yea! We are so gonna rule." She declared, high-fiving Hermes.   
  
"What kind of pranks were you thinking of?" Hermes asked tentatively.   
  
"Like, suddenly someone has a chicken on their head, and no one can explain it at all." Liz said gleefully. Hermes let out a war whoop.   
  
"Yes! I love that kind of creativity." He exclaimed. Then they went back to their seats.   
  
Zeus rubbed his temple. "Here Zeus." Lauren yelled, and tossed the bottle of Advil that she always carried down to him. Zeus jumped back as if it were going to burn him. Then he began speaking, eyeing the bottle for any signs of movement. "All right, you all are now going to become goddesses. You will have a training session with your teacher, then a break, then another training session, and finally a meditation session with Hestia." He nodded towards the woman tending the fire. She nodded back in recognition. "You will all be goddesses before the next full moon in two weeks. But first, the most important thing. Clothing." 


	4. ceremonitization

_Ok, another short chapter, just for the clothing bit. Then the real fun begins! _

__

_(Update: to make it an easier read, I've tried to space create a new paragraph almost everytime someone new speaks. Hope it's not quite so confusing now!)_  
  
Zeus led the new goddesses to a small room that did have a ceiling. Hanging from it were thick sheets arranged like shower stalls. "You will change here. Everything you need is in these areas." The girls were quite curious, especially after Lauren noticed that each stall had a person's name on it. Everyone quickly thanked Zeus and ran into their stall, excited and nervous to see what clothing was chosen for them.  
  
The sounds of "Cool!" "Wow!" and such were heard. Of course Megan tainted the moment by stating. "How do they know what we like to wear?"  
  
"SHUT UP MEGAN!!!" came the reply.   
  
Everyone handled the clothes with a little more care now. All was silent until Aubrey let out a yell. "Hey! Look at me y'all!" Everyone stuck their head out to see Aubrey prancing around in a white towel.   
  
"Ummmm great sheet Aubrey." Lindsay said uncertainly.   
  
Aubrey rolled her eyes. "Not the sheet dumbass! My hair." Everyone looked closer. In Aubrey's now waist-length hair, (funny how no one noticed it growing) were diamonds. They looked like the Velcro ones, only they were real.   
  
"Looks like Aubrey's got bling-bling" Lauren joked.   
  
Aubrey whipped around and glared at Lauren. "No Lauren. It is Ice. Repeat after me. Ice." Lauren just rolled her eyes.   
  
"What ever." She sighed, and went back to dressing.  
  
Once again, everything was silent, until Megan got excited. She had lifted up her outfit and found the treasure of her dreams under it. "COOL! I GET A CATTLEPROD! AND A BRANDING IRON!!!!!!" Everyone stuck their heads out again to stair in her direction, but she didn't seem to notice. A random victory song was heard from her stall, and the curtain moved as if she was dancing.   
  
_Megan you're an idiot _Colleen called.   
  
_Hush child. I am being happy. _came the response.   
  
Just then a loud gong sounded. Ares appeared in the doorway, hand over his eyes in a mocking manner. "Excuse me ladies, but if you would please hurry, the ceremony is about to start." The girls exchanged glances.   
  
"Ceremony? What ceremony?"   
  
Ares grinned. "You'll see." He said as he ducked out of the room.  
  
The girls shrugged and went back into their stalls. One by one, they finished dressing. Suddenly the room spun around and around, sending them all to the floor with dizziness. Finally the spinning stopped. Everyone cautiously got up.   
  
_Did we just travel back in time again? _whispered Nicole.   
  
_We had better not have_. said Aubrey _I wanted to get to know Hermes.  
  
_Lindsay turned around in her stall, eyes wide.   
  
_Uh guys? I don't think we have to worry about that.   
_  
Each girl turned around and gasped. They were still in individual areas surrounded by curtains, but the backs of the curtains had disappeared. They all stood facing the grand hall of Mount Olympus again. This time it looked even more elegant than before, if that were possible. Hanging on the walls were different colored banners, nine of them. Under each stood a god or goddess, anxiously sitting on purple satin thrones. _Looks like they heeded your advice o wise one. _Liz muttered to Katie.  
  
Before Katie could respond, the sound of trumpets blaring was heard. All the girls sat down quickly on the random chairs put in their stalls. Ares came out to face them all, his black toga glittering like mad, and a red bow tie around his neck. Liz sighed and shook her head.   
  
_I swear, he's gay_. she thought.   
  
"He'd better not be." Lauren mumbled to herself, arms folded stubbornly in front of her.   
  
The curtains were then lifted, but the girls didn't look at each other, feeling hypnotized by the fireworks on the war god's outfit. Ares smiled and walked down to where the new goddesses were situated, his toga glittering blindly. He then turned to face the other gods and goddesses, his butt just inches away from where Megan was sitting. She gave a disgusted sigh, but let him talk. "My fellow gods and goddesses. Today we are joined by nine new children, nine new goddesses that will aid in our future. So let us-OW!" Ares jumped forward, rubbing his backside and scowling ferociously. Megan grinned maniacally, the still smoking branding iron in her hand.  
  
"I almost forgot about this!" she said gleefully.   
  
Ares now had a "Guys Suck" burnt into the back of his toga, and possibly into his rear end as well.  
  
As the laughter subsided, Lindsay glanced around. Someone was missing. "Where's Liz?" she asked. Suddenly the room went dark. An eerie glow-in-the- dark mist began to fill the hall. A figure slowly emerged, seeming to come up from the floor. The figure wore a dark blue dress that hung down to the floor. Draped mystically over her shoulders and arms was a sheer blue cape, with bright gold stars embroidered on. When she moved, the stars glittered faintly, giving one the impression of looking at the ever shifting universe. Slowly a hand emerged from the shadows, holding a staff. Oh so slowly the staff was brought into the light. All eight girls gasped as they saw the top of the staff. Atop the deep brown mahogany wood, twisted elegantly with age, sat, in all it's glory and splendor. . . a rubber ducky. The voice within the shrouded mists came booming forth. "Greetings fool mortals."  
  
"No Liz, we're goddesses too." Came the immediate respond from the other teens.   
  
The figure sagged visibly. "Oh. Damn." Suddenly the lights turned back on. The mist disappeared. Standing in the middle of the hall was Liz. Her now gold hair was done in spikes, and she wore a dark blue dress, dark blue shiny cape, and was holding her duck staff for dear life. She cleared her throat, and addressed everyone. "I am Liz, the goddess of random and weird pranks on mortals!" she shouted. Everyone cheered. Suddenly there was a huge thunderclap that sent everyone to the ground in panic. "Holy shit!" Liz yelled, and ran back to her seat. As the noise faded, everyone looked over at a rather red Zeus. "It was an accident." He squeaked, before sliding deep down into his chair. Liz gave a small "hmph.", got up, and went to stand next to an excited Hermes under the dark blue banner. Hermes kept trying to sneak her staff away from her. Finally Liz just bit him on the hand as he reached out to squeak Mister Ducky. That stopped anymore grabbing on the god's part.  
  
Ares looked over at the rest of the teens and pointed to Lauren. "Would you like to be next?" he inquired smoothly. Lauren blushed slightly and let herself be helped by the war god. She shivered pleasantly as he lifted her and walked with her a few steps, hand on her back. Suddenly something made her shriek softly. All the new goddesses jumped in surprise, then they cringed at Lauren's excited mental explosions. _Omygod! He pinched my ass! HE PINCHED MY ASS! _she squealed excitedly. _Nice for you Shut up Lauren _and _Congrats _were all heard at the same time.  
  
Ares walked Lauren over to the middle of the hall, then clapped his hands. Suddenly the Song "It's Raining Men" came blaring out of now where, and Lauren started dancing on cue. "Now here we have the beautiful goddess, Lauren." Ares announced, obviously having fun being the announcer. "Here we see her wearing a lovely, knee-length dress of sea blue. Notice the translucent ruffle at the bottom." There were some Oooo's and Aaaaaaah's. "Notice her gorgeous straight, luxurious blonde hair embedded with sapphires. Notice how sparkly her dress is."   
  
As Ares finished saying this, there was a small bolt of lightning, revealing a tenth girl standing next to Lauren. She gave a sniff to a surprised Ares. "It's shot with stardust!" she exclaimed, then she was gone. Nicole blinked.   
  
_Was that Marjorie? _she asked.   
  
_I think so _Lauren said, _confused_.   
  
Ares started up again to fill in the silence. "Her beautiful dress seems to be shot with startdust, but it no where near rivals her own beauty. Lauren would you please address the crowd?"   
  
Lauren took a deep breath.   
  
"I am Lauren, goddess of dateless girls and HOT guys." She exclaimed, looking straight at Ares. Everyone cheered as Lauren went to stand next to Aphrodite under a bright blue banner "shot with stardust."  
  
As soon as she sat down, Katie popped up and walked confidently to the center of the room. She wore a white toga that was a little see- through. In fact it was a little TOO see-through. The moment she stopped walking, a voice (unmistakably Megan's) called out "Katie, your underwear is showing!" It was true. Katie's blue and green tie-dyed underwear were clearly visible through her sheer outfit. Everyone gasped in horror, except for Zeus, who just stared until Hera smacked him over the head.  
  
Katie looked down, shrugged, and snapped her fingers. Her white toga was suddenly transformed in a flash of light. In it's place was a light gray dress that hung to her feet, exposing elegant sapphire galoshes with goldfish on them. A gold lighting bolt circled her waist as a belt, and her long, perfectly curled hair had crystal rain drops intertwined in it. Everyone clapped as rain clouds moved in. Soon it was raining, hard sheets of water, but no thunder or lightning. All the new goddesses started to yell, but then they realized that they weren't getting wet. As Katie started skipping joyfully around in puddles, the theme song from "Singing in the Rain" was heard. Katie rolled her eyes, but continued to dance.   
  
_God, what a corny song _she murmured.   
  
_Don't worry- it fits your goddessness _everyone reassured her. Katie smiled and continued dancing. She danced for two hours straight. Meanwhile the rain poured down, and some of the god's resistance's was fading. This resulted in a damp Aphrodite, Athena's curls becoming wet dreadlocks, and a soaked Ares, who was beginning to get pissed off.   
  
_AGH!!! SOMEONE STOP IT!!! _Aubrey wailed after the twenty seventh time the song ran around. Katie was also getting tired. Finally, she slipped in a now huge puddle and lay down, breathing heavily.  
  
"It.wasn't.wasn't supposed to be that long." Katie panted. "I couldn't stop."   
  
Suddenly laughter was heard from where Hermes and Liz were seated. Actually, it WAS Hermes and Liz. They were laughing so hard, Liz fell over, her spiked hair punching a hole in the velvety throne. "First job completed!" yelled Hermes through peals of laughter. "You're well on your way to becoming a great goddess Liz."   
  
Katie just stared at them, open mouthed. "Liz? You. YOU USED YOUR GODDESS POWERS AGAINST ME?!!" Liz nodded happily, not noticing the dangerous glint in the blonde's eyes. Suddenly the sky darkened again, threatening even more rain. Everyone cowered in fear, expecting a down fall, but it never happened. Except for on Liz. The rest of the sky became clear once again, but it rained turrets on the mischievous goddess. Then, as if on their own, her feet started to move. First they tapped lightly, but soon they were doing whole Irish jigs.   
  
"Katie!" Liz wailed, as her feet began doing the can-can.   
  
Katie just shrugged. "That's what you get for pranking another goddess." She said evilly. Then she addressed the rest of the audience. "I am Katie, goddess of dancing in the rain and corny jokes!" Then she sat down under a gray banner next to Dionysus and a slightly frightened looking Hermes who kept trying to help Liz, but was smacked by Katie when he did.  
  
Aside from Liz, who danced for another half hour because Katie was feeling nice, order was once again restored. Ares shook out his toga, and looked over at the remaining goddesses left to present. "Hmm. I see someone missing." He said slyly. On cue, a gigantic fluff ball came barreling into the room. It stopped in the middle of the room, and stood up. "And here we have Sonomi!" Ares yelled. It was true. There was Sonomi, in a costume that resembled a Teddy bear, prancing around the room like she was a fashion model. "Notice the beautiful fabric -faux fur folks, faux fur- that was used in this delightful ensemble. Yes siree, the lovely gal reeks of 'AWWWW' from her fluffy ears, down to her little tail." With that Sonomi grinned, turned, and slapped her butt for emphasis. It would have been one thing to see her do that in normal clothing. But to see the female equivalent of Winnie-the-Pooh smack her ass was too much. Sonomi just stood and frowned as order was corrupted by peals and peals of laughter.   
  
_It wasn't that funny _she whined_.   
  
Yes Sonomi, it really was _the rest of them managed to gasp in between giggles.  
  
Finally the chuckles were suppressed to random snickers, with the exception of Liz, who was still dancing at this time. Only she wasn't laughing. But that's beside the point. Sonomi glared at everyone, then cleared her throat. "I'm Sonomi So-no-mi. Goddess of stuffed animals, especially teddy bears!" Then she skipped over to sit next to Athena under a yellow banner. Just as she sat down, the fuzzy pompom jumped back up. "Oh! I almost forgot!" she squealed excitedly. Fishing around in a random pocket, she brought forth.a pen. "Not just any pen!" she yelled to the astounded audience. "This one has a Pooh bear on top." Indeed it did have a Pooh bear for a clicker "And it can turn into a staff too". And indeed it could.   
  
Lindsay let out an ear piercing scream and hurled herself towards Sonomi. "I WANT THAT! OH MY GOD I WANT THAT!" she screamed. A slightly frightened Sonomi gripped the Pooh spear and sent the tip jabbing into Lindsay's stomach, sending her to the floor with an "oof".  
  
Ares shook his head to get his brain working again. "Umm, redhead on the floor, would you like to go next?"   
  
Lindsay popped up off the ground and snapped her fingers. Suddenly the lights went out again, and lightning streaked the sky. A dark figure loomed in from of everyone. As they cowered in terror, it spoke. "Greetings fool beings. I am the goddess of all Darkness. You're fate is to be sealed with me. Say goodbye to all those you love. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN!" The figure laughed maniacally as the goddesses screamed.   
  
"Haha, only kidding ya, I'm not the goddess of Darkness."   
  
Then the lights came back on. Everyone gave a sigh of relief, including Zeus, who was standing over a rather mysterious puddle on the floor. In the middle of the room stood Lindsay. Her already beautiful red hair had been done up into a braided half bun that left soft curls hanging down at her shoulders. She wore a toga/dress of rich green that was fastened at the shoulders with vines made of emerald. She wore a long cape of darker green that had no pattern on it. In her hand was a gold staff with "I'm a hermit, Go away" written in gold on the top, on her wrist was a gold charm bracelet that looked like the stuff you would see on a Swiss Army knife, and a vine arm cuff. She smiled at the glaring goddesses, and addressed her adoring audience.(Author note: Alliteration!) "I am Lindsay, Goddess of Hermits!" As everyone clapped, she went to sit next to a STILL silent and solemn (Author note: Another one!) Demeter under a green banner.  
  
At this point, Liz had stopped dancing. She breathed a sigh of relief, and looked around. "Umm... Aubrey, why are you still wearing a sheet?" she asked. It was true. Aubrey, who was now standing in the middle of the room, still wore a pink tinted sheet, her hair glittering furiously. The ensemble goddess smiled and pointed to Ares. "You may begin now." She said haughtily.   
  
Ares twirled his microphone, and began. "Here we have this simple yet elegant ensemble presented by who else? The goddess of ensembles herself. Notice how the beautiful pinkish fabric drapes elegantly along her body, highlighted perfectly by the diamonds set into her hair. A beautiful ensemble for those nights when you just need to get some sleep. But that's not all folks, no where near it." With this, Aubrey snapped her fingers, changing her sheet to a dress that resembled that of a Miss America contestant. It was yellow, and had an orange sash that draped over her shoulder. As she flounced around, perfecting that model walk, Ares went more in-depth about the clothes. "Rise and shine! That's what this little outfit says. Like the bright morning sun, this gets you ready for a bright and cheerful day. Notice how her hair is sensibly draped to her shoulder in an elegant, but functional loose ponytail." Everyone gave a few Ooo's and Aaah's as Aubrey strutted here and there, showing off the little golden slippers that came with the outfit. Then she yawned and snapped her fingers again.  
  
Aries took the cue and started in on the next outfit Aubrey was sporting. " Here we have a satin emerald dress, perfect for life's daily routine. Notice the glittery, emerald cape ahem shot with emerald stardust." Aubrey swept around into a dramatic pose, her cape elegantly draped onto the front of her dress, staying on by gold weights at the ends of the cape that hung down to her waist. Her still waist-length hair was now adorned with emeralds as well as diamonds, and hung loosely at her back, a slight curl at the bottom. As she twirled around again, the entire ensemble changed. Now she sported a lilac colored skirt under a deep royal purple cape, and held a staff with a flower on top, which held a bright, huge diamond in it's devilish petals. The cape folded around her, lacing up in front, hinting at ahem things and such, but revealing little. The hood of the cape rose up above her head to a point, giving Aubrey the look of a sinister and evil being. Which she was. "This dangerous little piece just screams evening sophistication." Ares said, growing a little hoarse. " Dark and mysterious, the perfect thing for dates. Well, almost perfect." Aubrey then snapped her fingers, changing into her last and most dramatic ensemble.  
  
As the glared died down, there was Aubrey- wrapped in a thick white ribbon from head to toe. Well it didn't exactly cover her head to toe, just the necessities, leaving her stomach bared, revealing a perfectly cut sapphire nestled into her bellybutton. Her legs and arms were bare, save for the two opal bracelets. _Woa!! CENSORED!!!!! _shouted Lindsay, Megan and Colleen at the same time. _Agh! Cut the mental chord_ was their next response. Too bad the chord had gotten so thick that they could hear each others thoughts anyway. Aubrey gave a little sniff in their direction. _You fools. Hush now_. Ares went on describing the ribbon, wiping the drool of his face from time to time.   
  
_Hey! That's not fair! HE'S MINE! _screamed Lauren.   
  
Aubrey gave an audible cry of pain as Ares went on. "White, the color of purity. Just the perfect ensemble for meditation_."   
  
She's gonna meditate with us in THAT?! _Megan wailed, obviously distressed.   
  
_Shut up all of you! You're ruining my moment _screamed Aubrey.   
  
Ares continued. "Of course, what's a night with out a fun filled date, and that's exactly what this ensemble is for."  
  
_Damn she looks good _  
  
All the goddesses whirled around. _Who the hell was that?! _they all said at the same time.   
  
_I think it was Hermes _Liz called from where she was sitting.   
  
_You mean they can read our thoughts too?! _balked Nicole.   
  
Colleen let out a huff _Well that explains the well timed poking on Ares's part _she murmured.  
  
Aubrey switched ensembles, took off her shoe, and hurled at the other goddesses. Then she faced the crowd. "I am Aubrey. The goddess of ensembles. And gansta lingo. Fo sho." Then she went to sit down next to Athena and Sonomi under a rainbow banner. "Holy shit!" she yelled when she saw it. "I am NOT gay. Just no. This will have to change." So the banner was now white, and Aubrey sat under it with content. The three remaining goddesses shook their heads. Actually it was the two remaining- there was one missing yet again. Suddenly, out of no where bubbles came streaming out. Not just innocent cute little bubbles, some of these were huge, evil sinister bubbles that would engulf you if you didn't pop them first. As everyone ran for cover, a high-pitched giggle was heard, reverberating in the minds of all.   
  
_Sounds like a possessed doll. _Lindsay called from her hiding spot.   
  
The giggling stopped for a moment, only to give way to a sinister voice. "Hello everyone. Welcome to MY world." This struck fear into everyone's heart. Even more so than Lindsay's entrance, or Liz's. Megan began crying. _Make it stop_! she screamed, while clutching Colleen for dear life, as the giggling resumed. Finally, a figure in pink emerged and all forms of insane laughter ceased.  
  
It was Nicole. Megan gave another shriek and fainted dead away. Nicole gave her the best glare she could, which resulted in a lot of laughter from everyone else. The brunette sighed and walked a few steps, spewing more bubbles with each drop of the foot. She wore a long pink spaghetti strap dress, shot with even more stardust. In her ears were, of course, big hoop earrings, and on her wrists were bubble bangles. Set atop her wavy, waist-length brown hair, shot with some MORE stardust, was a gold tiara, embedded with a smiley face in it. She pointed to Megan, who immediately became conscious with a shriek and started to dance. _You evil child_! Megan yelled.   
  
Nicole giggled again. "Don't worry, it was only to wake you up." Then she turned to the crowd, more specifically to a winking Apollo. "I am Nicole, goddess of insane crazy dancing to invisible music, and extreme happiness!" Then she sat down next to Apollo under a pink banner, blushing slightly at the cheers she received. Of course the stroking of her hair by Apollo didn't decrease the pinkness from her cheeks either.  
  
As soon as she stopped dancing, Megan leaped out of her seat and walked up to the center of the room. Ares gave out a small wail of fright, causing the goddess to grin more. She wore her regular clothes, but had a red toga draped around her . Her hair was in a ponytail, with red rubies decorating the top, and of course, she held a cattle prod in one hand, and a self- heating branding iron that said "Guys Suck" in the other hand.   
  
"I am Megan, goddess of punishing stupid guys." She said proudly. Then she turned to a smirking Apollo. "You look rather stupid." She said grinning evilly. Apollo paled and Nicole screamed as the ominous creature descended upon them.  
  
After a few minutes of "Let's chase Apollo around the room", the sun god had been shocked, but not branded, Nicole's voice had gone hoarse from screaming, and Megan strutted over to sit next to a laughing Hera and Artemis under a red banner, extremely pleased with herself. Colleen sighed and walked up to the center of the room to finish up the ceremony. Ares looked at her hungrily.   
  
"Don't you dare."   
  
She warned, giving him an extremely evil glare. Ares shuddered. "All right fine." He huffed, irked that he couldn't poke her some more.  
  
Colleen struck a pose in the middle of the room. She wore a black floor length dress with red roses embroidered onto it. Her shoulder length hair had a slight wave in it, and atop her head sat a glittering crown with "Eep" written in shining letters. She glared at Ares once more, then faced the everyone else, blushing slightly as Dionysus gave her a small wink. "I am Colleen, goddess of the tortured sounds, Eep, Mneih, and Grrness. EEP!" As Ares laughed at her reaction, she gave a small wail and went to sit under a black banner, taking an annoyed Ares's seat.  
  
Once all was silent, Zeus went to the center of the room. Just as he was about to speak, the air next to him sizzled and popped, growing suddenly brighter. As the glare died down, there stood Marjorie again. This time she was wearing an orange toga, with puff balls on it. "I am Marjorie, Goddess of random interjections!" she exclaimed. Then she was gone once again. Zeus let out a scream of frustration and fell to the floor, sobbing softly. Everyone looked at each other.   
  
_I guess this is the end of the ceremony _Sonomi whispered.  
  
_ok wow, a LOT long than I expected. Oh well. The next chapters go by character, a day in the life of each basically. Some of the days overlap too. Just a warning. _


	5. Colleen

_So begins the single-character chapters. Well, not really single-character, but there's a single MAIN character in each chapter. Why am I rambling? Anyway, this is the next day, after the ceremony. This is the chapter of the goddess of torturous sounds, Colleen. (who by the way, IS a real person, just like all the characters in this. Except for the original Greek gods. Agh! I'm rambling again!) Some things you might want to know for this chapter:  
  
1 nightmares- basically evil horses. They are black and have manes of fire  
  
2 Hephasteus- god of fire and fire crafts, such as blacksmith. He was forced to marry Aphrodite  
  
3 Trojan war- I think it's self explanatory. Greeks vs. Trojans, over a beautiful woman, Helen  
  
4 Achilles- the legendary warrior who was invincible except for his heel, which is where he took an arrow and died.  
  
5 Oh yea, and I don't think there are really swans of death  
_  
The sun's rays awoke Colleen gently. She smiled contentedly and sat up in bed, her red feather comforter falling off of her softly. She looked over at the flower-shaped sundial on her ebony night stand. The central fairy's shadow read 9:00, but considering she really had no idea what time it was, she wasn't really late for anything either. Reaching over, she picked up the silver hairbrush also on the night stand, and began combing through her bed head. She yawned, and accidentally dropped the brush in a startled "eep!". The hairbrush lay on the bed as Colleen sat still, eyes wide in terror, remembering that today was her first training session with Ares. This probably meant spending the rest of the day being poked by an almost absolute stranger. Colleen gave a cry of anguish and commenced to hitting her head into her pillow. One, two, three, whoops, she missed the pillow. "Ow!" Colleen yelled, as her head connected with the bed's headboard. Groaning, she pulled herself out of bed, ready to greet the day. Well, not really ready, and not even willing, but she had no choice.   
  
As Colleen walked down the spiral staircase that led to her secluded tower, she was greeted by a rather bright flash of yellow and orange, and a rather loud "HELLO!!!" Colleen groaned again.  
  
"Nice to see you too Aubrey."   
  
The ensemble goddess gave a smile and started dancing around the room. "What a beautiful day!" she squealed. "Just think, we're gonna live like gods here!"   
  
"Goddesses you mean." Colleen corrected, "guys are stupid."   
  
Aubrey shrugged "Well yea. But what ever. Come on, breakfast is waiting for us!" Colleen snapped her fingers, changing into her daily outfit, and followed the hyper goddess through the door of the "new goddess complex". All 9 girls had a room here, with the exception of Lindsay, who had suddenly disappeared after the ceremony yesterday. Colleen hadn't really been looking for her, she had been too busy trying to catch Dionysus' eye, with out much success. So the last bedroom was now reserved for Marjorie, lest she randomly appear in the middle of the night.  
  
The door led to a darkened lounge complete with a huge roaring fire, and bunches of pillows and couches to sprawl on. Megan, Lauren, Sonomi, and Katie already were there, their laughter and chatter broken only when they were chewing. They turned and waved as Colleen and Aubrey entered. "The food's over there." Megan pointed through a full mouth. Colleen gave her a disgusted look.   
  
"Trust YOU to know where it is." She teased, before heading over. Liz and Nicole were having a heated discussion by the table, and things were getting a little ugly. Colleen had to keep ducking so she wouldn't get hit by bubbles, or random pink chinchillas that had wings. Grabbing anything she could, Colleen made a break for the door, but not before getting hit in the back of the head with a fuzzy bubble, that hurt. Colleen plopped down on a bunch of pillows, but leapt up again because something was jabbing into her behind.  
  
Looking down, she saw a rose. It was a dark purple rose, with a note attached to the side. "For Colleen" it read. Colleen blushed when she saw the little heart on the back of the card.   
  
"Wacha got there?" Megan squawked from across the room. Colleen looked up startled. "Oh nothing" she stammered, and finished her breakfast. Clutching her present behind her, she scooted out the door, and headed for where she guessed Ares lived. It wasn't too hard to find. There was a spiny, evil looking castle in the midst of a black cloud, with a black stable next to it, housing two very evil looking nightmares, and an ebony chariot. Any other person might have shrunken away from the evil looking place. Colleen just rolled her eyes. _Guys are so stupid _she thought, as she walked over to the huge gold door and pulled it open.   
  
"I'm here!" Colleen yelled, a little apprehensive as to what Ares was up to. She didn't have to worry. Ares stumbled down the stairs in a daze, his hair still messy from sleep. Her wore black footy pajamas with "I'm the Ruler of the World" written on the front, and held a black teddy bear with glowing red eyes. Colleen eyed the stuffed animal warily, especially after it winked at her.   
  
"I want a chariot, like yours, only better." She said, deciding to start things off with a bang. Ares blinked sleepily, and clapped his hands, changing into a black and gold toga, complete with a gold earring in one ear. His hand shot out, but Colleen was ready. She smacked his hand away before he could poke her.   
  
Ares sighed, disappointed. "Well, I guess we can start that way. Shall I call Hephasteus to make you one?" Ares walked over to the fireplace, and picked up a burning coal, whining about how hot it was. Then he dropped it on the floor, in the middle of the hallway. "Hephasteus! Come here! You're needed!" he yelled. The coal shook, glowing brighter. Finally it exploded in a flaming red, and a figure stepped out of the blaze, hammer in hand. Colleen gasped.   
  
"Jason?! What the hell?!"   
  
The Filipino boy grinned uncertainly, just as surprised to see Colleen there. " Well, last night Hephasteus left for a vacation, something about getting away from his scary wife. I came here in a big green light, and they handed me this hammer and told me I was now Jasonus, and that I was his sub for the time being. What are YOU doing here?" Colleen stood tall and proud.   
  
"I am the goddess of the tortured sounds, Eep, Mneih, Grrness, and now… Eeklackawicki. So there for-EEP!!!" Colleen gave a cry as Ares let out a delighted squeal. Jason grinned and joined in the fun of "attack Colleen". The poor goddess gave cries and wails of surrender, but the torture was relentless. As she sank to the floor helplessly, something inside of her snapped. She stood up, now oblivious to their poking, blue eyes blazing a dark crimson.  
  
Jason first noticed it. "Woa, what the hell?" he said. Suddenly something made him stop poking her. His horrified gaze met hers and she smiled smugly. Ares mouthed the words "No" but all that came out of his mouth, was unmistakably, an "Eep!" Soon Jason was starting in too, the pair of gods involuntarily squeaking over and over again. Colleen laughed, giddy about this whole goddess business. Soon the whole castle reverberated with tortured sounds. Megan, Nicole and Sonomi looked over at the war god's lair in confusion and pity on their way to training. _Poor Colleen _murmured Sonomi. Megan laughed.   
  
_Hey Eepers! _she called _Are you still alive? _The only thing the three received was a feeling of amusement and an echoing "Dance you assholes, dance!" The three goddess looked at each other and back to the castle.   
  
"I think she's ok." Nicole whispered. Then they all ran off in fear.   
  
Meanwhile, in the tower, the eeping-fest had stopped, only because Colleen was laughing too hard to control her powers. Jason got up shakily, afraid now of the scary blonde rolling around on the floor, cracking up. "I guess I'll go work on your chariot then." He stammered, before disappearing in a bright red flame.   
  
Soon Colleen was flying at top speed through the crisp morning air next to Ares. She stood regally in a black chariot with "Mneih" written across it in foreboding letters, and drawn by two dark, evil looking swans of death. Soon, the terrible duo came upon a battle scene. This wasn't just any battle scene, it was the last battle in which Achilles' the famed hero was fighting in during the Trojan war. People dying left and right, being run through with swords, shot with arrows, all that grisly stuff. Colleen let out a disgusted sigh. _Guys are soooooo stupid! _she thought.   
  
_Hey! _came a voice. Ares's voice.  
  
Colleen glared at him. _Stop listening to my thoughts! _she cried. _Or I'll… I'll listen to the voices in my head and burn you.  
  
Yessss let's burn himmmm _came a voice.   
  
Ares paled a little, but Colleen just rolled her eyes.  
  
_Megan get out of my head.  
  
Oh fine _came the voice again, this time a bit offended.   
  
Colleen looked at the pandemonium beneath her, and took a deep breath. "All right, let's get started." She said dubiously. Ares grinned.   
  
"Ok. Anyone you see dying is fare game. I'm off to make sure NO ONE leaves this battle field alive." With an evil cackle, he was gone, leaving a blinking Colleen behind to deal with the dying. Rubbing her hands together, she started to concentrate. Soon all those who were being run through with swords gave cries of "eep!" and the occasional "mneih". Those who were shooting arrows let out a "grrness!" when ever they missed. All the warriors looked a little confused, and fighting was stopped for a minute. But Ares appeared and urged them on again. "What is wrong with you idiots?! Fight I say! Fight and die!!" so the fighting commenced. It finally ended with only about 20 survivors, and legend now had it that Achilles died bravely, with an "Eeklackawicki!" still on his lips.   
  
The time passed quickly, and soon Colleen was stopped by a cruel poke in the side. "Eep!" she cried, turning around to glare at a laughing Ares. "Let's go, it's break time. I'm hungry." He called to her as he sped off in his chariot. Colleen let out a huff, and urged her swans of death onward, back to the new goddess complex. Leading her birds into the stable next to the nightmares, she parked her chariot right next to Ares and walked back to get some lunch. And to run from the war god that was chasing her, trying to get one last poke in.   
  
The blonde goddess slammed to door to the new goddess complex on Ares' face, letting out a sigh of relief. Suddenly she was enveloped by a rather scary looking monkey. O wait, it was Megan. "Colleen! We missed you-Eep!" Megan backed up in horror at the sound that had just come out of her mouth. Colleen smiled evilly.   
  
"I had fun today." She remarked simply.   
  
Megan ran away screaming in terror just as Nicole, Lauren and Sonomi walked into the entrance hall. "Ummm… hi Colleen!" Nicole said cheerfully. "What was going on this morning? We heard your torturous sounds coming from Ares' castle." At the mention of him, Lauren licked her lips, but everyone pretended not to notice.  
  
Colleen gave a delighted squeal, much to the confusion of the others. "Guess who's here too!" No one could guess.   
  
"Jason!"   
  
There were gasps of amazement.  
  
"Are you serious?!" whispered Lauren. Colleen nodded gleefully. "Only now his name is Jasonus. He's filling in for some god name Hephasteus." The other goddesses looked at each other. This god hadn't been at the ceremony; no one knew who he was.  
  
_He's the god of fire and all crafts associated with it. _Came a small voice in their heads.  
  
_Lindsay? _they all asked at once. _Where are you?   
  
I'm on a small tropical island, _came the answer _Someone has got to help me. Demeter is nuts. She's just crazy. She's- o shit she's coming back. Bye!   
  
Lindsay? Come back! _shouted Nicole, but there was no response. The other goddesses looked at each other worriedly, but they were soon interrupted by a bright green swirl of fabric, and a rather loud voice.  
  
"Omygod! Come look at the stuff I got!" Aubrey squealed excitedly. She grabbed Sonomi and Lauren by the wrists, pushing Colleen and Nicole in the process, all the while babbling. "So I kept pestering Athena about giving me a temple of my own so people could worship me when ever they wanted, and she finally caved in!" _Yes, it went on ALL morning. _Sonomi moaned mentally to the rest of the goddesses in tow. _Athena finally fell to the floor, crying, saying "Make the evil voices stop!"  
  
I can see that. _Nicole said shuddering.  
  
Meanwhile, Aubrey was STILL talking. "-So then when the first wall fell down, killing some poor mortal, I had about 5 more workers put new ones up, and that's where it is now. It need to be painted and stuff, but I still got some adoring admirers! Of course it may be because I threatened a few of them…"   
  
Aubrey shut up now because they had entered the dining hall. At each table setting, presents were placed, at least one per person. Aubrey flounced over to her spot, which had about 20 presents or so. "I think my adoring public loves me." she said dreamily, trying on all the gold jewelry, throwing out all the burning meat, and sampling all the fragrances. Colleen sighed and walked over to her seat, almost not surprised that there was another single purple rose sitting on the plate. She lifted it carefully, sniffing it's delicate fragrance, smiling to herself. Then she sat down between a Nicole and Liz, who were still arguing about something. Liz was now using her spiky hair to defend herself against Nicole's entourage of bubbles. Megan was grinning evilly over something she got as a gift, Aubrey was busy flaunting her new items, Lauren was cracking up at something randomly, Marjorie kept popping up in random seats, and Katie and Sonomi had actually started eating. Colleen took their wisdom and started in on her lunch.  
  
After a delightful meal of ambrosia and wine, a slightly tipsy Colleen decided to go outside, away from the much a slightly more drunk Megan, Liz, Nicole and Lauren who were having contests to see who could tick Katie off the most. Liz and Megan were finding it extremely funny because Nicole and Lauren were dancing the polka together as they were being rained upon _(Author note: no, I don't think that little of my friends, nor do I really agree with underage drinkers, which we all would be, but that seems to fit in context with ancient Greece, and it makes for an interesting scenario.) _Colleen didn't really want to join in the "fun", so she went out to the pretty little garden next to the complex. Well, it wasn't really little, it was HUGE, but oh well. Looking around, she found red roses, white roses, even a few black ones. But there were no purple roses. Colleen shrugged, unfazed by the mystery of her admirer. She walked back to the complex, feeling a bit more clear-headed, only to be attacked in a flying hug/leap by Lauren.  
  
"Eep! Lauren! Don't DO that to me!" Colleen yelled, exasperated. Lauren just giggled.   
  
"Come on. Break is over. Let's go back to lessons."   
  
Colleen groaned out loud. Another training session with the psycho, egotistical war god. Lauren giggled again, finding Colleen's frustration amusing. "Well, I'll protect you, for a few minutes at least. Perfect opportunity to flirt with your hot instructor anyway." The goddess of torturous noises rolled her eyes, but allowed herself to be guided back to Ares' evil castle. Ares was outside, polishing his chariot, when the two blondes appeared.   
  
Ares smiled coyly as they approached, his torture device, whoops, apprentice, and some hottie walking with her. Lauren blushed slightly as the war god gave her a sly grin. "I..I hafta get going." She stammered.   
  
"What, no flirting with the hot instructor?" Colleen teased, but Lauren was already walking away, More like she was running away. Ares smiled wistfully as she fled, his mind picturing her running happily through a field of flowers full in bloom. Of course in his perverted mind, she wasn't wearing anything except a bright red scarf draped over her arms. Colleen couldn't quite understand why her mentor was starting to drool, but after yelling in his ear, and getting no response, she decided it was safest, and wisest to make a break for it. But she had only gotten a few steps when Ares, who realized that he could dream about this new goddess later, decided not to lose his new-found enjoyment, and so brought Colleen back with an invisible rope.   
  
The rest of the training session went surprisingly well. Colleen practiced making people eep who were in another room, combining mneih and grrness to get "Mneihness", and trying to perfect that "eeklackawicki" yell. Before she knew it, it was time to go to meditation. A gray pigeon flew into the room as Colleen was getting a drink, causing her to shriek in alarm, and Ares to laugh at her expense. After glaring at him, sending the god into a corner shivering, the blonde goddess walked over to the pigeon, and allowed herself to be led by it, over to Hestia's villa.  
  
Megan was already there, chatting with the hearth goddess when Colleen walked in, a bit surprised by the homely appearance on the inside. There was a central room, with various doors leading off to separate areas, like spacious catacombs. The walls and ceiling were painted sunny yellows and warm golds, with sunlight streaming in through the many windows. In the center of the wood floor was a deep fire pit, the rocks surrounding it decorated with different jewels, with a small fire in it, more embers and sparks than anything else. Colleen sat down on the floor since there was no furniture, and waited for others to arrive.   
  
First came Katie and Liz, laughing their heads off. Probably at some evil thing Liz had done to some poor helpless mortal. Then Nicole came in, her face flushed a bit more than usual. _New crush? _Colleen asked.  
  
_Shut up _was the hurried reply as the brunette's cheeks got even redder. Next came Lauren, and last were Sonomi and Aubrey strolling in right after her, Aubrey switching into her meditation robe.  
  
_O god Aubrey _was the response from everyone. Even Hestia winced.  
  
"What?" Aubrey said pouting, her sapphire belly stone twinkling madly. "Brrr, it's kinda cold in here." Hestia sighed and clapped her hands, signaling silence.  
  
Soon everyone was seated in a nice circle around the central fire. Hestia surveyed the throng of new goddesses. "There's one of you missing." She said matter-of-factly. Just then a voice entered their minds. It was the missing one, Lindsay.  
  
_Hi! I'm here! Demeter isn't bringing me back over there, but she never said I couldn't meditate with you so HA! On her_.   
  
Hestia frowned. _Tell her she needs to bring you back, for training purposes.  
_  
Lindsay mentally shuddered. _YOU do it. She scares the bejesus outa me.   
  
_Hestia's frown darkened into a glare, and suddenly Lindsay was sitting right next to her, looking a little wet, sandy, tired, surprised and scared. "How the hell did you do that?!" she stammered.  
  
Hestia smiled. "Demeter is my little sister. I can make her do what ever I want." Lindsay nodded, then paled  
  
_Ugh, I just remembered something. she said to the new goddesses. Zeus and Hera are siblings.   
  
Yea, _Katie replied. _Talk about major incest.   
  
Ok we are stopping this conversation NOW!_ yelled Megan. Everyone winced at her loud words and started listening to Hestia, who was telling them what they were going to do today.   
  
Each goddess was told to think of an object that represented her powers and imagine being inside that object. Nicole chose a bubble, Sonomi- a teddy bear, Megan- her trusty cattle prod, and Katie decided on a raindrop. Liz chose her rubber ducky, Aubrey decided on a platform shoe, Lauren thought of a red rose, and Lindsay chose the knife charm on her Swiss army-like bracelet. Colleen frowned; she couldn't think of what to use. Just as Hestia was starting to get impatient, the Colleen remembered the purple roses she got today. It didn't really represent her power, but it was worth a try. Besides, it might make her warm and fuzzy inside. "Now close your eyes and breathe deep." Hestia said. Everyone did as told. "Think of your object, and imagine squeezing into it, becoming one with it." Colleen pictured the deep violet petals, the green stem, the sweet smell of her roses. Slowly, one by one, each of the goddesses became totally relaxed, each feeling totally in tune with her object. The room was filled with total silence. Then Sonomi sneezed, and Hestia decided that they all had meditated enough.   
  
As they all walked back to the new goddess complex, a glorious and beautiful sunset greeted them.   
  
"Wow." Breathed Lindsay.   
  
Then, "Oh shit. I'm disappearing again. Bye!"   
  
The hermit goddess was forcefully pulled back to her desert island by a slightly grumpy Demeter. There was a moment of silence after she left. Finally Aubrey spoke up.  
  
"Poor Lindsay." She sighed. Everyone nodded, but Megan just rolled her eyes.  
  
"Well, she shouldn't have been the hermit goddess in the first place. I should have been! Just wait until I get my monkey. Then she'll see…" The brunette was still muttering threats as she opened the door to the complex and headed inside.  
  
Nicole yawned. "Well, I think I'll go in too." Lauren, Liz, and Katie nodded. "Yea, we'll crash too." That left only Sonomi, Aubrey, and Colleen sitting outside, watching the sunset. Then Aubrey and Sonomi went in, leaving the blonde alone.  
  
Colleen shivered with content as the wind picked up slightly, the sky's brilliant orange's and red's fading now into deep blue's and purple's. They brought to mind the purple roses, which she still hadn't found the owner of. Would she anytime soon? Well, right now she'd be content to wait and let her admirer reveal himself. Hopefully it was a he. This thought struck Colleen so suddenly, and so terribly, that she tumbled over backwards with and "eep!" and landed right on top of a purple robe. _(Author Interruption: Happy New Year Y'all!)  
  
_"Oh I'm sorry Colleen!" came a soft voice above her. "I didn't know you were here. Let me help you." The blonde goddess allowed herself to be lifted up. Once standing, she turned to face the person she had sat on, and was met with a pleasant surprise. It was Dionysus, Katie's mentor, and extreme hottie. Colleen blushed while stammering a thank you. She spied what was in his hand, and blushed even harder; it was a purple rose. Dionysus followed her eyes, and realized what she knew. He turned even redder than she did. "I…Well….I…" he stammered, not quite sure what to say. Colleen smiled and gave him a tentative hug.  
  
"Are you free tomorrow at lunch?" she asked, surprised by her own boldness.  
  
The wine god gave cracked a grin. "Meet you in the garden entrance." He said. Then he bent over and gave Colleen a soft kiss on the cheek. "See you tomorrow." He whispered into her ear. Then he was gone, leaving Colleen standing there, a purple rose in her hand.  
  
As she walked into the new goddess complex in a happy daze, she was greeted by Lauren, Nicole and Megan, who were still up. And Megan had some news. "Guess who I got to brand today." She said evilly. No one could guess right.  
  
"Who was it." Nicole asked.  
  
Megan gave a sly little laugh. "Paul was in Ancient Greece today."  
  
It didn't take Nicole or Colleen long to put two and two together. Colleen started cracking up, while Nicole let out a shriek and chased Megan around the room with a pillow, screaming insults and death threats. Lauren was on the floor, dying of laughter. Colleen yawned, and ran upstairs as she ducked a pillow swing to the head. "I'm gong to bed!" she yelled. "See ya tomorrow!"  
  
Colleen snapped her fingers, switching into her night clothes, put the purple flower in a vase with the other two, and snuggled into bed happily. The sweet smell of the roses lulled her to sleep, and she could still feel Dionysus' lips against her cheek as she fell into a deep slumber.  
  
_Yay! I think this chapter turned out ok. O yes, and Paul's name isn't really Paul; it has been changed to protect the stupid. Sort of an inside joke, but basically Nicole and Colleen have major crushes on this "Paul" character. And Megan hates him. Yea, I'm probably now in big trouble for saying this but o well! Next chapter is about that scary person Megan! _


	6. Megan

_Tada! Week long break is perfect for a chapter. Ok this one is Megan's chapter, the goddess of torturing stupid guys. Now this chapter does not overlap the previous one; it's the next day (I've decided against the overlapping thingy) Some things to know   
  
1) Pan- the god of shepherds. He is the son of Hermes and is half goat half  
  
man. He also likes to scare  
  
people, which is where we get the word "Panic" I'm sure he's a perve and a sex addict too.   
  
2) Zeus likes to have affairs with women in different forms. He's been a cow, a swan, a golden shower._  
  
"YA GOTTA GET UP, YA GOTTA GET UP. YA GOTTA GET UP THIS MOORRRRRRNIIIIINGGGGGG!"  
  
Liz bolted awake at the loud assault, smacking her head against the shelf above her head. "Oh shit!" she yelled as the shelf fell off the wall, clattering onto her cranium. What the hell is that?! she called, rather pissed off. In other rooms, the rest of the goddesses were also wondering about this rude awakening. Lauren jerked awake, and promptly fell out of bed. Nicole moaned and shoved her pillow over her head, painfully punching two holes in the head board with her elbows.   
  
_Ow! Ok who is that? _she demanded   
  
_I think it's Megan _Aubrey yawned.   
  
_MEGAN! SHUT UP! _yelled Sonomi who was on her floor, having also performed a Lauren. The noise stopped abruptly. Everyone sighed and went back to bed.  
  
In her room, Megan grinned evilly, and chuckled to herself. Cruel deed number two had been completed, the first deed being that she told Nicole she had branded Paul. Megan smiled, remembering the bubbly goddess' reaction. The only glitch was she hadn't really had the pleasure of branding the Mr. "Aromatherapy", but oh well. Megan shrugged and turned to get out of bed, but something stopped her. It was an eerie sensation that someone was behind her. She whirled around, just in time to catch a glimpse of two horns and a goat tail diving ducking beside the bed. Megan didn't stop to ask questions. Grabbing a pillow, she took a flying leap at the thing while screaming. "AGH!!!! DEMONS IN MY ROOM!!! GET OUT!!!! GET OUT!!!!!"  
  
All of the other goddesses were once again awoken by Megan, but this time by her loud cursing and the sound of things breaking. _Hera, Artemis, you apprentice has gone crazy_ called out Katie. With in minutes of receiving the message, the two anxious goddesses appeared at the new goddess complex. They ran up the stairs and burst frantically through the door of their student, gazing in disbelief at the scene before them. Pillows were strewn everywhere, the night stand was tipped over, the lamp on it broken, and feathers were drifting onto the floor. In a far corner stood Megan, seething, her cattle prod in hand. Cowering under her wrath sat a curious looking beast that was half man, half goat, still twitching from the shocks he had just received. Hera's expression darkened. "Pan." Hissed Artemis. The creature, Pan, decided that the wrath of one goddess had been enough. With a giant leap, he jumped over Megan, and out the window. All was quiet again, save for the thud that came a minute later.  
  
After being woken up by Megan twice, everyone decided that it was useless to go back to sleep, so they all trooped downstairs for breakfast. Megan still held her cattle prod, silently daring anyone to comment. Of course, Colleen couldn't resist. "New boyfriend Megan? Eep! OW!" Megan gave a slight smirk as Colleen rubbed her tender side.   
  
"Say again?" she hissed.   
  
Colleen, being the smart little goddess she was, ran into the kitchen and hid under the table. She stayed there all breakfast, only popping out to grab something off the table.  
  
Aubrey let out an exasperated sigh "Megan you are evil." The brunette gave a bow, then proceeded to the kitchen to collect a well deserved breakfast. Filling her plate, she then went to go sit down in the lounge, but was met with an unwelcome surprise.   
  
"Lizard Breath!" she hollered. "There's a note on MY seat. And it's to you." Liz came over, a bit confused, and took the offending paper. Megan plopped down contentedly, then turned expectantly to the random pranks goddess. "Well? Aren't ya gonna read it?" Liz shrugged and opened the note. As she read, her eyes grew wide and her face turned various shades of red. Now Megan may have been just a monkey, but she wasn't stupid. Grabbing the note out of her fellow brunette's hand, she started running around the room, chanting at the top of her lunged, "LIZ HAS AN ADMIRERRRRRRR!!!!" Liz gaped.   
  
"Megan! You bitch monkey!" she gasped, before getting up and running after her.  
  
The chase finally ended when Megan tripped over Nicole, who unwittingly decided to sprawl on the floor. Liz then toppled on them both. The three brunettes finally managed to untangle themselves, but not before Liz got Megan in a headlock and took back her note. Megan pulled her head free, smoothed her hair with a sniff, then flounced into the kitchen area. She then grabbed a croissant, gave Colleen, who was still under the table a pat on the head, sending her to the far corner, and headed out the door to go to her training sessions.  
  
Polishing off the rest of her breakfast as she walked, Megan reached Hera's castle in no time. It was a large, stone palace adorned with various gems encrusted into it's outer walls. Knocking three times on the large ebony door, and then entering (as was their code, figured out the previous day) Megan stood waiting in the hallway for her first mentor. She didn't have to wait long. Hera came down in a flurry of feathers, a huge grin splitting her face. She was dressed in a turquoise dress that was pleated down the front, and a peacock feather belt to match. After engulfing Megan in a huge hug, she then gave a slight frown. "Where's Artemis?" she inquired.  
  
As if on cue, three knocks were heard, and the front door opened. In stepped the moon goddess, garbed in a flowing white dress and a gold cinched belt. On her back was her trusty quiver of arrows, and she held her bow in her hand, along with a smile of mischief. "Hello. I am here. Shall we get started?" Artemis was never one to beat around the bush. Hera nodded in response. Clapping her hands, she transported them into a room that looked like a small gym, but much fancier. There was a swimming pool with dolphins in it, a track made of the softest grass, and a whole row of punching bags, each painted to look like different people.( There were five of Zeus, depicting his various appearances). There was even an archery range in the back.  
  
Hera turned to Megan. "Well, since we didn't end up doing anything except talk yesterday, I think we should do some serious damage-I mean work- today. Now repeat after me. Guys are stupid. Guys are stupid."   
  
Megan rolled her eyes slightly. "Guys are stupid." She repeated. "Guys are stupid and need to be all put together in a pit full of giant poisonous spiders all ready to bite. And the spiders are pink." Both of the women gawked at her in awe, then started clapping. "Brilliant!" exclaimed Artemis. Megan smiled and took a bow.   
  
"Soooo- Do we get to smite guys yet?" she asked excitedly, rubbing her hands together.   
  
Hera shook her head. "Not quite yet. First, I think we should work on a little target practice."  
  
For the next hour, Megan practiced various different methods of guy torture. She practiced her aim with the archery range, hitting various moving targets, all with different pictures of men on them. She had a hay- day punching at all of the bags, especially once Hera brought out one with Paul's face on it. After gleefully reducing it to sawdust, Megan went over to sit at a small lawn chair, tired but happy. A peacock servant brought her a chilled fruit drink, and she lay back contentedly, catching her breath. Music came softly out of no where while Hera and Artemis came in to lounge too. After a few minutes of leisure, Artemis stood up and stretched. "Ok." She said yawning. "You ready Megan?" Megan gave a big grin, drained the rest of her drink and grabbed her torture devices, including the colored sands she was given yesterday at lunch.   
  
"Let's go." She said dangerously.  
  
A few minutes later they were all riding Hera's personal cloud. It was going so fast that Megan couldn't get any questions out for fear of losing her breath. Where were they going? Would she be able to brand any guy she saw or were there guide lines? Megan hoped not. Soon they stopped at a huge cloud hovering over the city of Athens. Hera got off first, and took out a key from her shoe. Unlocking a white door, she bid the other two goddesses to enter. Inside was a huge sitting room, another room filled with various weaponry, and a large balcony. Megan rushed over to the edge and peered down to all of the little ant-like creatures below her.  
  
"Anybody got a magnifying glass?" she hollered. Artemis walked over and handed her a silver spy glass. Megan took it eagerly and focused on a random individual that seemed to be sitting on the side of a dusty road. As she looked closer, the specimen suddenly burst into flames and ran screaming into a near temple, setting the whole thing on fire. All three goddess stared in disbelief as the blaze engulfed the whole building, and then was finally quelled. "Oops." Megan said in a small voice.   
  
Hera let out a laugh. "It's ok." She giggled. "No one used that temple yet, it was new. But I suggest you stick to branding and shocking." Megan nodded her head and then grinned. "Let us get started." She stated.

_66666666_

"Wohooo!!! Another one!" Megan screamed in triumph. She high-fived Artemis as her victim lay on the ground, still twitching from the shock. Hera put another tally mark unto her slab, then glanced at the hourglass sitting next to her. "It's almost time for lunch." She called to the other two goddesses. "One more victim. And make it worthwhile!" Megan gave a thumbs up and scanned the ground. Who should her last torturee be? Suddenly, someone caught her eye. Even though she was suspended in midair, high above the earth, she would still recognize that hedgehog-like hair. Was it even possible? In her wildest dreams, she never even hoped for this. Oh well; never look a gift horse in the mouth. Megan's grin was beyond evil as she picked up her branding iron, and sprinkled some pink sand onto it.

_6666666_

Paul had been randomly walking around ancient Greece for the last 20 minutes. He had been sitting, contemplating his situation, but after someone else who had been sitting spontaneously combusted, he figured it was safer to keep moving. Suddenly he heard a "Why Hello" form above him. Looking up, he saw three.well, they looked like goddesses, sitting in a cloud, waving at him menacingly. One was clothed in a blue dress, one in a white shift, and the third sported a red wrap around. Paul paled as he recognized the one in red, who was holding a smoking branding iron. He started running, but tripped and fell, only to watch in horror as the hand bearing the iron came closer.closer.

_66666_

Nicole, Liz and Katie were busy talking in the front hall when the entrance doors suddenly burst open with a stream of confetti. In walked a rather triumphant-looking Megan as the song "I've got the Power" (yes I'm ripping off Bruce Almighty. Deal.) suddenly came blaring out of nowhere and invisible crowds cheered the brunette goddess. Megan smiled and waved to her imaginary entourage, blew on her smoking iron like it was a rifle, and gave the three confused goddesses in front of her a light pat on the head. "Hello everyone. How was your day? Well scratch that, I don't really care. Guess what I did today?!" Unfortunately, the exuberant goddess's explanaition was cut off by the entrance doors being flung open again, only this time, smoke and lightning came streaming into the room.  
  
"SOMEONE DESTROYED MY TEMPLE!!!!" bellowed Aubrey, emerging from the smoke.   
  
The four goddesses turned to her in shock. "I did destroy a temple today." Megan said slowly, "But it was on accident, and besides, Hera said no one was using it yet. I think it had a pink roof." At this, Aubrey let out a wail of anguish and fury.   
  
"THAT WAS MY TEMPLE!!!!!" she shrieked.   
  
Megan shrank down a little. "Oh." She said softly. Then she shrugged at turned from the fuming ensemble goddess to the her three fans, awaiting to hear what she had to say. "So anyway; guess what I did today?!"   
  
No one could guess.   
  
"I branded Paul!" she cried triumphantly.  
  
The three goddesses gave her blank stares; not the reaction she was expecting. "You already branded him yesterday." Nicole pointed out. Megan let out an exasperated sigh and smacked herself in the forehead forgetting that she was holding her branding iron.  
  
"Ow. I lied yesterday. Today I really DID brand him! Now he has a big bald spot on the side of his head that says "Guys Suck" AND it's glazed with pink glass!"  
  
The details of her torture, and the fact that Megan had lied to her, finally seeped into Nicole's brain. Screaming like a banshee, she somehow managed to grab a stunned Liz and run after Megan while trying to spear the brunette with Liz's spiked hair. Megan then grabbed a still red-faced Aubrey and attempted to use her as a shield. Katie just stood there, looking at both sides disapprovingly. The battle would have probably gotten very messy soon, if Lauren and Sonomi hadn't opened the door just then. They looked at the Liz sword held by a steaming Nicole, then at a rather frightened Megan holding a furious Aubrey, and finally at each other.   
  
"It's about Paul isn't it?" they said at the same time.  
  
Lunch was surprisingly mellow after that little escapade. Nicole still hadn't forgiven Megan, and was busy glaring at her over the table. Megan just smiled sweetly at her and dug into a nearby dish. Chewing thoughtfully, she looked around, and noticed that Colleen wasn't anywhere to be found. Oh well, probably off flirting with some god. Or maybe she found Paul. Megan shuddered and went back to her lunch.  
  
_(Yes, we are straying off of Megan to see how Colleen's date is going. And yes, it may get a little mushy. Sorry Megan; but I think the Paul branding makes up for this.)_  
  
Colleen sat at the steps of the garden, furiously blinking tears back. Suddenly she was swept up in a swirl of purple and spun around. Giving a small gasp of surprise, Colleen allowed herself to smile as Dionysus let her down and gave her a small hug. "What's wrong?" he said, caressing her cheeks. Colleen blushed slightly, realizing that a few tears had spilled out of her eyes.   
  
"It's hard to be the student of someone like Ares." She said softly. The wine god gave her a smile of pity and softly kissed her forehead.   
  
"Not too much longer though." He reminded her. "Just until the full moon." Colleen gave a small sniffle and nodded.   
  
"Shall we get lunch?" she said.  
  
Soon the two were chatting and laughing happily in a small gazebo by a glistening pond, complete with a miniature waterfall. Colleen was a bit shy at first, but Dionysus was warm and friendly, and soon she was just as loud and jovial as he was. They had just finished a song about Zeus and his mistresses (Dionysus had a lovely voice) when Colleen spotted them. Half hidden under a cloth were three bright orange clementines. The blonde gave a squeal of delight and pounced on the fruit, much to Dionysus' confusion. She then began to juggle the clementines, grinning like a maniac on speed. Dionysus watched with an amused smile on his face. Suddenly Colleen's fingers slipped, sending the fruit rolling down the gazebo stairs. She gave a wail of distress, but it was too late; some passing mermaid in the pond now had clementines for lunch.  
  
Dionysus leaned over and cupped the sad goddess's face between his hands. "I'll get you more fruit" he said softly, before letting his lips meet hers.  
  
_(Ok Megan, you can get your head out of the toilet. Mushy part over.)_  
  
A random bell rang, signaling that lunch was over. Megan belched loudly, grabbed her branding iron, and sped off to Artemis' glen, where her second training session would take place. Since there was no door to the moon goddess's dwelling, Megan knocked three times on a tree and then entered. Artemis appeared 2 seconds later, a friendly smile on her face. "Hello." She said pleasantly. "I figured that since you got some practice this morning with long range victims, I though you'd might want to work on your short range abilities."  
  
Megan shrugged. "Sure, why not? Guys are guys- no matter how far away they are."  
  
Artemis smiled. "I knew you'd see it my way. First, some basics." She showed Megan how to creep silently through the woods, and how to pounce on someone from behind so that they never knew what had hit them. Megan was also given rough instructions on how to use a bow and arrow, and how to hold a sword. Finally, they were ready to set out to wreak some havoc.  
  
Surprisingly enough, there were a fair amount of men in the woods, and Megan had fun attacking them all. Her crowning glory was when she leapt onto the back of a passing centaur and gave him 2 identical red tattoos on his rump. Served the lady-chasing, beer-drinking creature right, Megan thought happily, as the centaur galloped off at top speed to warn others of this new feminine menace. The story of Megan, the man punisher would become legend, whispered late at night to naughty little boys.  
  
A rustling in the bushes behind them alerted Megan and Artemis. Crouching low, they came upon a poor woman, being repeatedly attacked by a goose. Megan narrowed her eyes, cracked her knuckles, and jumped out at the waterfowl, jabbing her cattle prod into it's neck. As the woman ran off in terror, the shocked goose resumed it's original shape. "Zeus." Scowled Artemis, coming out of the bushes. "Wait till Hera hears about this."  
  
"She already has."   
  
Zeus paled at the unmistakable voice coming from behind him. Turning around, he saw a rather peeved looking Hera. "Megan?" she inquired. "May I borrow your iron?" Megan handed it over, and then she and Artemis stepped back to watch the "Chase and beat the crap out of Zeus" fest that was taking place before them_.   
  
That woman needs anger management and a divorce _Artemis remarked, as the angry marriage goddess picked up a stick and began swinging it at her husband's head_.   
  
Amen _said Megan.  
  
Soon it was time for meditation. Megan said good bye to Artemis, and sprinted over to Hestia's villa, hoping to get a few words in with the hearth goddess again. Luck was with her, as no one had arrived yet. Hestia greeted Megan warmly, offering her some tea brewed fresh from the ceremonial fire. Megan accepted, and soon the two were chatting as if they were old friends. Megan decided to bring up the topic they had started yesterday. "I still say your wrong. Guys cannot change. They cannot be forgiven."  
  
Hestia shook her head sadly. "Men are human as well. They cannot help being inferior, just as we cannot help be superior. This does not put them at fault."   
  
Megan scowled into her drink. "I guess you're right." She sighed. "But I still say that it would be torture to MARRY one of them." At this Hestia agreed whole heartily.  
  
Soon the rest of the goddesses filtered into Hestia's home. Once Lindsay had been transported into the room, looking very tired and hungry, the lesson began. "As you all may have noticed." Hestia began, "You now have the ability to hear each other's thoughts if you wish. As your goddess skills grow, so will this ability, until you are able to see life through another's perspective. Now; choose a partner, and we will practice this." Lindsay looked around hopefully.   
  
"Anybody eaten today?"   
  
Megan turned to Nicole and grinned evilly. Before the happy goddess could even react, the monkey pounced on her, grabbing her by the hair. "I've got MY partner!" she yelled triumphantly. Hestia blinked in surprise, but then shrugged.  
  
Soon everyone had a partner; Lindsay being very happy because she had 2; Lauren and Katie. Colleen and Sonomi were partners, and Liz and Aubrey teamed up as well. Hestia nodded after she saw that everyone was set, and then began her instructions. "I want one of you to think about your day, and your partner will try to enter your mind, reliving your experiences." Megan let out a torturous laugh and began to think about her triumphant branding today. Nicole gave a small squeak of helplessness as she witnessed her own hand reaching out of the clouds to seal Paul's doom with pink glass.  
  
"Megan you are evil." She growled. Megan gave her a sympathetic pet on the head, and rewound her memory to the beginning of the day.  
  
All too soon, in Megan's opinion, long shadows decorated the floor of the villa, signifying the end of meditation. Megan gave a sad sigh and let Nicole out of her mind, shaking. The bubbly goddess relaxed happily, glad to be out of her fellow brunette's evil mind. Lauren looked over at Megan, suddenly remembering something she had seen in Lindsay's mind.   
  
"Guess what? Lindsay has MONKEYS on her island."   
  
Megan spun around so fast, she nearly fell over. With her eyes blazing, she took a flying leap at the smug Lindsay, only to hit air. _See you tomorrow Mego! _came the taunting voice as Lindsay was once again pulled back to her island. Megan made a mental note to kill red-headed one tomorrow.  
  
As the tired group of goddesses trouped back to their abode, Megan happened to glance at the sky. She gasped in surprise and stopped dead in her tracks. Curious, everyone else followed her example. High above them, in a cloudless sky, hundreds of shooting stars streaked across the sky. _Wow _breathed Lauren _Too bad Lindsay left so early.   
  
No, I can see them too, _came the awed response. The amazing phenomenon lasted for an hour, ending in two stars colliding, scattering fragments across the sky, glittering like diamonds.   
  
Megan let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. "Omen?" she whispered. Everyone else shook their heads; they had no idea. The brunette goddess shrugged. "Well," she said, breaking the silence "G'night."  
  
Once in her room, Megan placed her trusty weapons in their holders beside her bed, switched into pajamas, and jumped into bed. As complaints from below her slowly drifted to her ears, she fell asleep happily, dreaming about branding Paul's head, over and over..  
  
_The end! Yay! Another chapter done! Next will be about the goddess of dateless girls and HOT guys: Lauren!. Will she get a date with her crush? Will her crush reject her? Who is her crush anyway? And does anyone know who I am in this story? (Reading the reviews is cheating!) _


	7. Lauren

_Ok, Lauren's chapter. FOREWARNING!!!! This chapter was made for the goddess of dateless girls and hot guys herself, so it's a bit-shall we say- raunchy? You have been warned. Some things to know   
  
1) Amazons- race of female warriors. They used men for slaves and breeding   
  
2) Gorgons- 3 sisters who were so ugly that they turned men to stone. Medusa, the mortal one, was killed by Perseus   
  
3) Vesuvius- a huge volcano that erupted, burying Pompeii in ash, and Herculaneum in lava  
  
That's it- enjoy!_  
  
It was currently 4:00 am, and Lauren was being visited by 26 demons, 2 really hot guys ( one named Orlando Bloom), and a plaid chameleon named Joseph. Unfortunately Joseph was really hungry, so he decided to make a meal of the demons and Mr. Bloom. This left Lauren alone with her main man Ares. Just as she was leaning in for an all out make-out session... a splash of really cold water brought her shivering back to reality. Well, as close to reality as possible when one was on a caffeine high.  
  
"Holy Friggen Aye!" the blonde goddess yelled. She whirled around to face her attacker, but instead became entangled in her pale blue satin sheet and fell out of bed. By the time she pulled herself away from the invading blanket, the perpetrator was already down the hall and out of sight. Lauren let out an annoyed sigh, then yawned. As the caffeine effects finally started to ebb away, she switched her clothes and snuggled back under the covers, dreaming of that special someone...  
  
Seven hours later, a rather groggy Lauren came trudging down the stairs, looking far from ready to tackle the day. She squinted suspiciously at her fellow goddesses as they lined up for breakfast, hoping to catch the guilty one's eye. No one noticed her glare or fell to their knees, confessing, but that didn't stop her. Finally the blonde realized that there was someone missing. That someone must be the culprit of her drenched experience. She was probably hiding under her bed that very moment, hoping to avoid justice. Lauren would not let that happen.  
  
"IT WAS LINDSAY!" she yelled accusingly. Her outburst caused Nicole and Katie to drop their plates, Megan and Colleen to let out vocal bursts of surprise, and Liz and Aubrey to jump. Sonomi kept going along the buffet table, collecting her breakfast. "What was Lindsay?" Nicole ventured cautiously. Lauren gave a triumphant smirk.   
  
"She drenched me with water last night. Since she's not here, she MUST be the culprit! It's all very logical!"  
  
Megan, Liz and Nicole exchanged sad glances. "Lindsay's still on her hermit island." Megan pointed out. "That's why she's not here." Lauren contemplated this with a pained expression on her face. "Oh. Nevermind." She said. "But SOMEONE drenched me with water last night."  
  
"Not someone, me." said Liz proudly. "After all I AM the goddess of pranks."   
  
Lauren let out an angry gasp. "On mortals, not on fellow goddesses!" she screamed as she tried to pounce on the prankster goddess. Liz coolly stepped out of the blonde's goddess's wrath, and before long the fight was over, with Lauren sprawled out on the floor, laughing hysterically in disbelief. Liz gave a satisfied nod. "I'm off." She said. "Hermes'll be pleased by this." Lauren watched the brunette flounce off through slitted eyes. She began concentrating.  
  
"5...4...3...2...1"  
  
Suddenly an ear piercing scream resounded from outside. All of the goddesses rushed to the windows, just in time to see a terrified Liz rush past, closely followed by a herd of drooling men. Lauren let out an evil cackle as the entourage rounded the corner. "I now have power over you all!" she squealed with delight. The rest of the goddesses gave her looks of terror, except Colleen, who smirked. Not me she commented. The rest of the goddesses turned a surprised gaze her way. "What do you mean not you?" Lauren gasped.   
  
Colleen looked around frantically for a means of escape. "Uhhh... oh nothing. Gotta go. Bye!" she sputtered. Then she took a flying leap and jumped out the nearest window, sprinting off to Ares' castle.  
  
Lauren blinked in amazement and yawned. "Ugh. I'm going to lessons. Bye." She said finally. With that she proceeded to the door, and walked into the door jam. She somehow managed to get the door open and stumble outside. Squinting in the bright sunlight, she began making her way to training session.  
  
Aphrodite's palace was made of coral and sea glass, decorated with pale blue scallop shells and was located right next to a peaceful bay where dolphins played and mermaids rose to sing and sunbathe. There was a small dock with two small boats situated by it, and a marble stable which housed the love goddess's milky white mares and pink quartz chariot. Once Lauren caught sight of the pale orange cupola atop it, she headed straight to the stable. She was greeted by soft nickering as she went to see her treasure; the black mare named Lightning Rod that she had gotten yesterday. The blond goddess stroke Lightning Rod's white diamond on her forehead, and gave her a soft kiss on the nose. The horse whinnied softly and pawed the ground slightly with her white ringed feet, impatient to be off for a morning ride. "Not yet girl," Lauren whispered to the anxious mare. Then the blonde goddess left the stable and proceeded to meet with her tutor; Aphrodite.  
  
The love goddess was already awake and dressed, enjoying a light breakfast of sugared apples when Lauren walked in through the door "Hi Lauren how are you I'm fine but I feel a little unsettled about Zeus' new illegitimate child I really think he should cool down and this is coming from the goddess of sex herself but I'm rambling aren't I what do you want to do today?"   
  
Lauren smiled. "Nice to see you too Aphrodite." she said. She was used to the beauty goddess's morning sugar highs now. "I think we should work on hot guys again today" said Lauren hopefully.   
  
Aphrodite rolled her eyes "You've already aced that lesson and the only reason you want to do that is so you can feast your eyes."   
  
"So?" Lauren pouted. "I like eye candy" Aphrodite grinned.   
  
"I think we should work on something a bit more challenging today like hooking up the dateless girls and hot guys."   
  
Lauren sighed "Fine." She consented "But I should be allowed to steal a kiss or two." Aphrodite shrugged.   
  
"You always were." She replied.  
  
Lauren groaned inwardly and urged Lightning Rod into a gallop once more. Perhaps this time Aphrodite would take the hint and stay back there! The blond goddess had been talking non-stop for the last ten minutes, and even Lauren, who was usually the hyper one, couldn't take it. Still it looked as if the effects of sugar had worn of the love goddess, and by the time she caught up to Lauren, she was her regular old self again. "Where would you like to play matchmaker first?" the now sane goddess asked her fellow blondie. Lauren furrowed her brow in thought, gazing at the glassy glue sea that was to the left of them in the distance. Suddenly she remembered a group of girls that she hadn't thought of before. Surely they'd enjoy her talents.   
  
"I say we go help out the Amazons."  
  
Aphrodite gave a surprised squeak and turned towards Lauren with a wide-eyed expression. Then she started cracking up. "What?!" shouted Lauren, who didn't think there was anything wrong with her request.   
  
"You can't be serious." Said Aphrodite, wiping a tear from her eye. "Those un- feminine girls will skin you alive. They don't like men, and never will. Butch lesbians if you ask me."   
  
Lauren lifted her nose arrogantly into the air. "Well, I want to try anyway. Perhaps they're just lonely." Aphrodite shook her head.   
  
"Fine. Let's go."   
  
Lauren let out a delighted war whoop and spurred her horse into a gallop, heading for the sea. The salty air whipped her face and tossed her hair wildly. She laughed happily as the shore line came closer and closer. All of a sudden something came to her mind. She dug her heels into the side of Lightning Rod, coming to a screeching halt right at the edge of the shore. With the small waves lapping at he horse's feet, she turned to Aphrodite, who had just managed to catch up.   
  
"Umm... so where exactly ARE the Amazons?"  
  
Five minutes later, Lauren and her mentor were standing at the edge of the Amazon kingdom. Rows and rows of marble and stone huts were bordered by gardens and the dense jungle. There were huge racks lining the streets with various weapons, ranging from bows and arrows to short swords to axes. Huge lions, leopards and hyenas snoozed, chained to doorways and fences. There were signs of life everywhere, except there were no Amazons. "Where is everybody?" Lauren whispered. Suddenly, as if in response, they heard a faint shouting far off.  
  
The blond duo rode on cautiously to the sound of the shouts. Soon they could hear the sound of an excited, anxious crowd roaring it's approval. The shouts came from a large outdoor amphitheater made of wood, and embedded with various gems. On the gold fence around it perched the heads of various men, all of whom obviously offended and ticked off the female warriors.   
  
_I think I'm gonna be sick. _Thought Lauren.   
  
"Right behind you." answered Aphrodite.   
  
As they entered the arena, the goddesses saw a throng of Amazons all gathered around a person standing on a podium. Lauren squinted and gasped.   
  
It was Megan.   
  
"And so, we need to fight together to rid the world of this disgrace and live in peace like all chicks should!" she screamed, and was met with applause by many.  
  
"Megan!" Lauren called. "What are you doing here?!" The brunette turned, surprised to see her fellow goddess here, but not shocked.   
  
"Just giving these gals support. What are YOU doing?"   
  
Lauren cleared her throat and addressed the throng of Amazons before her. "I am Lauren, goddess of dateless girls and hot guys. I am here to save you all from the clutches of singleness and get you dates!" The entire amphitheater was silent, save for the soft thudding of Aphrodite hitting her head against the wall in despair. The Amazons just stared at Lauren. Then they started cracking up.  
  
_Ugh! _thought Lauren, as a few members fell to the floor, powerless to stop their laughter. Megan turned to the annoyed blonde, a smirk on her face. "I win." She said simply. Lauren watched, shocked and helpless as the Amazons went back to listening to Megan. The blonde's mind raced. How could she convince them? Just as Aphrodite came over to take her away, she got an idea. "HEY!" Lauren screamed. "You all can be pimpettes!"  
  
The idea was once again met with silence, but no one started to laugh.   
  
"Hmm... pimpettes." Started one.   
  
"Using guys" mused another.   
  
Soon the whole tribe was getting a bit excited about this idea. Megan was not. "What is wrong with you?! I thought you were the warrior gals! You kill guys!"   
  
"Well we do." One pointed out. "But can't we pretend that we like them, and THEN kill them? We can get stuff out of that deal!" Everyone agreed. Megan let out a huge sigh. "Fine. What ever." And so it was decreed that the Amazon warriors were fearsome pimpettes too.

_7777777_  
  
"Well that went well." Lauren commented to her teacher as they left. Aphrodite responded by trying to strangle herself with her scarf.   
  
"They're off buying top hat and canes!" she choked out. "Not to mention huge tacky gold medallions!"   
  
Lauren shrugged. "So?" she said. Then another idea lit in her eyes. "I know!" she exclaimed. "Let's help the GORGONS next!" Aphrodite gave a small banshee cry, a dying wail, and fell off her horse. Lauren rolled her eyes and walked her horse over to the love goddess, who was busy rolling around on the ground, moaning and crying. "Fine." Lauren said softly, "I'll just send some hot guys to them as a sympathy gift for losing Medusa."  
  
Before Aphrodite could stop her, she began to concentrate far off to the distance. As storm clouds rolled in, a small storm of guys came running to her out of oblivion. They stopped right in front of her, on their knees, pathetic puppy expressions painted on their faces.   
  
"What do you want us to do oh babe?" they all whispered. Lauren smiled and gave them each a pat on the head.   
  
"Go flirt with the Gorgon sisters. They're lonely."   
  
"Yes ma'am." They responded in unison. With that, the small heard of generic hot guys sped off. Lauren watched them to, satisfied. Then she turned to her grim and pale teacher. "All right, what's next?"  
  
Up until lunch, Lauren practiced hooking up those within her power. She and Aphrodite rode all across Greece, through cities and towns, along seashore and through hills. They had just stopped in the little town of Herculaneum when there was a soft rumbling from the massive volcano, Vesuvius, nearby. As citizens ran in fear, Lauren and Aphrodite spurred their horses to Mount Olympus. They had just reached the celestial doorway (a.k.a. the entrance to the hall of the gods), when lava came spewing and bubbling out of Vesuvius. The goddesses watched in horror as the entire town was engulfed in molten red rock. _Oops_ came a small voice in their heads _It's lunch time.  
  
_The first thing Lauren did when she got inside was find Jason. She had him backed up against the wall, cowering beneath her wrath. "I didn't mean to do it." the fire god sputtered. "I just wasn't paying attention to the pot I was boiling."   
  
"What WERE you paying attention to then?!" Lauren demanded. Jason gave a sly little smile.  
  
"For one thing, your tutor."   
  
Lauren let out a howl of rage and proceeded to beat Jason over the head with her shoe. Fortunately for Jason, she wasn't hitting very hard, and at that moment, Katie and Liz walked into the room. They both grabbed the rampaging blonde's arms and pulled her off of a bruised Jason. Lauren gave a small growl and glared at the Filipino boy. Then she flounced off to lunch, leaving her saviors very confused.  
  
Lunch was pleasantly uneventful, save for the egg that Megan "left" on Colleen's seat. It was pretty funny to see the two running around the table, but after a while, Lauren decided to go outside and get some fresh air. All of Megan's involuntary eeping was giving her a headache. She smiled to herself as a gentle breeze caressed her cheek, pulling gently at her blue gown. Soon a rather tired Megan came outside, and sat next to her on the stone bench. They just sat, enjoying the silence. Then Lauren saw it.  
  
"Look! Random fluff!" Lauren exclaimed, not realized the foreshadowing of that statement (insert dramatic chord for the author is using symbolism!) Before Megan could pull her back to sanity, the blonde was off, prancing across the clouds, trying to catch the fuzziness. The clouds beneath her changed from angelic white to a foreboding black very suddenly and quickly. Lauren didn't notice this, but she was aware of the random thunderbolts that shocked her feet. "Ow! Must get fluff." She said, silently vowing that nothing would get in her way. Presently, something did get in her way, and Lauren ran smack-dab into a well-toned stomach of iron steel.  
  
As Lauren started to fall backwards, she was caught by two strong arms. Looking up, she was shocked to come face-to-face with, you guessed it, her secret hunk Ares. The war god gave a cool smile while setting the now bright red and stammering goddess back on her feet. "My pleasure." He said sexily, flexing his biceps leisurely. He wore a pure black toga today, complete with a diamond stud earring. Sunglasses perched on his head, the perfect accessory for such a hot guy. Well of course he knew this, but Lauren didn't care. "Well, I should get going." She stammered. But before she could go anywhere, the god caught her arm.  
  
"Not so fast." He said impishly. "I expect a reward." Lauren turned to him, about to say "Like what?" Then she saw him leaning in.   
  
_Oh. OH! _she thought.   
  
Suddenly something inside her warned her that this spit exchange wasn't such a good idea. "Uh oh, uh oh." She wailed softly, flailing her hands. Ares didn't seem to notice thought. Just as his lips were about to meet hers...  
  
She burped.  
  
Right in his face.  
  
Ares reeled backwards and fell to the ground on a stupor, his tan face now a sickly green. Lauren just stood there, blinking. Then what just happened hit her. _Damn it! _she thought. _Sooo close! _Sighing, she turned to leave, but something caught the hem of her skirt. It was Ares struggling to get up. "You don't expect to get away with out at least an APOLOGY kiss now do you?" he teased weakly.   
  
"But...but I have to get to class." Lauren stammered. Ares wrapped his arms around her and drew her in close.   
  
"I don't think the love goddess will mind if you're a few minutes late."  
  
_Fill in the blank peoples  
_  
Lauren crept in cautiously, careful not to make any noise. Aphrodite was sitting on her couch, reading. Lauren tiptoed quietly past her, making for the wash basin. "You're ten minutes late." Aphrodite said, not looking up from her book. "And your lipstick is smeared all over your face." Lauren blushed and hurried to pump water to clean off. "Sorry about that." she apologized. Aphrodite shrugged, her eyes still on her book. "As long as it was a good spit swapping session than it's ok."   
  
_Oh it was _thought Lauren, giddy all over again. Once her face was clean, she walked back over to the sitting area, and plopped down on a silk chair next to her mentor with a sigh.  
  
Aphrodite read a few more pages, then closed her book with a snap. "Well" she said, stretching, "I think we should do something a little more relaxing than our task this morning." Lauren looked confused. "I mean not something as hectic for ME anyway." Aphrodite explained.   
  
"Oooooohhh. Gotcha." Lauren said, thumbs up.   
  
"Anyway," the sex goddess continued. "I think that since it is our job to make women presentable to men, then we should look our tip-top best as well." Lauren jumped up with a squeal.  
  
"Are we getting liposuction?!" she gasped.   
  
Aphrodite gave her a very odd look. "No." she said slowly. "I don't know what that is."   
  
_Duh _sighed Lauren, smacking her head.   
  
Aphrodite leaned in close, as if to tell her student a big secret. "How about we spend the afternoon at a spa." She whispered. Lauren let out a war whoop that would have broke Aphrodite's eardrums had she been mortal. "BETTER THAN LIPOSUCTION!" she yelled. "LET"S GO!"  
  
Ten minutes later, Lauren was nearly asleep as a nymph massaged her back with warm almond oil. Aphrodite had gone off to get her nails done first; it was tradition for her, she said. Lauren let out a yawn and lazily brought a grape to her mouth. All around her were gold and silver fish, who created little specks of jewels as they swam around. Lauren dipped her fingers down to stroke one gently. The massaging on her back stopped abruptly, and the blonde goddess looked up to see what was going on. Just in time, she remembered that she wasn't wearing any top. The nymph came back into the room, giggling slightly at Lauren's embarrassment. "Here," she said, handing the goddess a small package. "It's for you."  
  
Lauren slowly unwrapped it as the nymph began her massage again. Inside was a thin, gauzy red scarf. (anyone remember from Colleen's chapter?) She didn't know who sent it, but she guessed that it was Ares. Why he would send a scarf, she had no idea. "Hmmm... OW!" Lauren shrieked. "You little spazzass!" she yelled at the nymph, who had to decided to take it upon herself to wax Lauren's back. Snapping her fingers and changing into her clothes, she flounced out to see what other luxuries this place provided.  
  
Lauren had gotten her hair trimmed and shampooed, her nails done, and a pedicure. Now she was off to go get another massage (those things were addicting.) . Perhaps the nymph would forgive the goddess if she gave her any hot guy she wanted. With the exception of Ares of course. She had just rounded the bend, when a burly arm- not to mention well tanned and muscular- grabbed her by the shoulder and hauled her into a near-by closet. She wasn't too afraid, considering she knew it was Ares by the mental connection. But suddenly she felt something moist touch her lips. _THAT HAD BETTER BE YOUR MOUTH_ she thought angrily. Then she felt his tongue, sliding through parted lips to meet hers. _Ok, that's better. _she said, relieved.  
  
_Happy Lauren?! Geesh the things I do for you people!_  
  
It was currently ten minutes after meditation had started, and Lauren still hadn't showed up. Katie was watching from the window while Liz played the organ and everyone else danced. Of course, Liz couldn't really play the organ, and there really wasn't any organ in Hestia's villa, but they could pretend. Besides, they were goddesses, and what immortals says goes. Liz had just finished a lively rendition of "Turkey in the Straw" (Sonomi was the turkey and everyone chased after her) when Katie's voice broke through the music, loud and menacing.  
  
"UH OH, LOOKS LIKE LAUREN GOT SOME!" she screamed. Everyone came running to the window. There came Lauren up the walked, a huge goofy grin on her face. Her lipstick was once again smeared across her face, and there were smudgy fingerprints on her neck and shoulders. She walked as if in a daze, stopping only to trip and laugh hysterically.   
  
_Oh my god. _Nicole said   
  
_I hear ya_. came a shocked Megan.   
  
_I wonder if she's still a virgin. _Lindsay thought.  
  
Everyone turned to give her disgusted looks "What?" the red-head said innocently.  
  
Lauren came bursting in through the door like a ray of sunshine. Well actually she sort of melted through the door, the grin still plastered onto her face. No one would go near her. Finally, Liz and Sonomi went over to help her up. "So..." Megan said, hands on hips.   
  
"So what?" Lauren asked, trying to wipe off some of the evidence.   
  
"Are you still pure?" Katie and Lindsay said at the same time. Lauren looked confused so Nicole translated for her.   
  
"Oh. OH! Ew." Was her response. "No I wouldn't do that! I'd just make-out with him in dark closets."   
  
_Lucky bitch _came Aubrey's response. Before anymore questions could be asked, Hestia came into the room and order was restored.  
  
"Now today I want you all to do something that you may find dangerous and painful. But I feel that it is important that you realize you all have weaknesses and you must overcome them." With that she passed out little dolls to each girl. Lauren looked at hers and did a double take. It looked like Katie. Sure it wasn't perfect, but there were her glasses and blonde hair. Soon everyone had a doll. Megan had Colleen's doll, Aubrey had Liz's, Sonomi had Lindsay's, Katie had Nicole's, Colleen had Sonomi's, Liz had Lauren's, and Lindsay had Aubrey's. Nicole started cracking up at this little doll exchange. "What's so funny?" Megan asked.   
  
Nicole held up a miniature Megan. The boy torturer paled.   
  
"No" she whispered.   
  
"Yes." Nicole hissed evilly.  
  
"All right, the rules are try and hurt your doll in anyway. The person who is represented by this doll must overcome the pain and torture of this. Begin." With that Nicole took the Megan doll and twisted it's ear as hard as she could. "OWWWWWWW!!!!!" Megan screamed. Nicole laughed, giddy. Sonomi, caught up in all the excitement, bit Lindsay's leg. "SONOMI YOU LITTLE&$$#" yelled Lindsay. Soon they were all getting in the spirit of things and attacking each other through their dolls. Liz had a black eye, Aubrey had a few missing teeth, (don't worry, their immortals- they grow back) and many others had countless numbers of injuries. After being poked in the head with a pin, Katie soon found the ultimate punishment. Snapping her fingers, she produced a small little vial, which she unscrewed. She then placed a few drops of the liquid within onto her little Nicole voodoo head. Everyone gasped and stopped fighting immediately, except Sonomi, who was ripping Lindsay's head apart like a dog.  
  
"What is it?" Nicole asked, finding everyone staring at her. Katie started cracking up while Liz leaned in close.   
  
"Nicole, your hair is green. Sludge green."   
  
Sure enough, a look in the mirror revealed that Nicole's hair was no longer brown. "KATIE!!!!" the former brunette screamed. She whirled around and grabbed the Katie doll out of Lauren's hands and promptly ripped her entire scalp off. As Katie's screams resonated through the villa, everyone decided that they should do that. Soon there was a massive voodoo doll war, with everyone grabbing everyone's doll. Lindsay had ended up finding hers and was currently in the corner, petting it and trying to shove food down it's stuffed mouth.  
  
Suddenly there was a clap of thunder. Everyone stopped grabbing, relieved to feel all their pains go away. "That's enough for today." Hestia said, trying to suppress a giggle. "I suggest you all go home to sleep." As they all trudged wearily outside, Megan called out. "Hey Lauren, we never found out who you got laid by." Lauren cackled.   
  
"It was Ares." She said simply.   
  
"WHAT?!" screamed Colleen. Lauren shrugged.  
  
"He's HOT." Was her only answer.  
  
Later that night, with a fresh breeze coming through her window, and the stars twinkling merrily, Lauren thought about her excursions today. Has she been wrong? Was she being dishonorable? Was she really just a slut? And was that REALLY Ares' mouth?   
  
"Oh shut up." Lauren moaned groggily to the little fairy sitting on her window. The pixie gave a small huff and flew off, not bothering her with anymore questions. Lauren fell asleep with a blissful, caffeine-free smile on her face.  
  
_The end. HAPPY LAUREN?! I swear this chapter was cursed. It was so hard to write. And it's not very good. Next I believe is Sonomi, to add some innocence. Well, she's not really that innocent, though she pretends to be. Unless Aubrey skewers me alive, then it's Aubrey's chapter next. _


	8. Sonomi

_Alrighty, here's the chapter of Sonomi, goddess of stuffed animals! I had a bit of fun with this chapter, which means that Sonomi will probably kill me. I love it; a Japanese goddess in ancient Greece. Ok! Some things to know:  
  
Athens- the patron city of Athena. That' where The Parthenon, a huge temple built to Athena, is.  
  
Sparta- a warrior city that has a long standing beef with Athens.  
  
Odysseus- the legendary war hero of the Trojan War from Homer's The Odyssey.   
  
Furies- like fire spirits. They guard the under world, but that's not important for this chapter  
  
Nymphs- You all know what these are right? Water or tree sprite. _  
  
A soft chirping awoke Sonomi in the morning. She stretched slightly, then sat up in bed, smiling as the sun arose to meet the day. Her orange sheets fell away as she bounced out of bed, hitting her head on the pink lamp that hung from the ceiling over her head. Sonomi frowned and rubbed her head, then shrugged, a happy smile still on her face. As more and more birds joined the chorus of the first, the dark-haired Asian turned to count her vast number of teddy bears.   
  
"One two three... I'm missing one." She said slowly. Sonomi glared. The sky around the new goddess complex darkened. Her eyes turned into bright red flames, horns shot out of her head, and a red devil's tail snaked up from her back. An ugly snarl escaped her lips. Just as she was about to unleash her annoyance onto the world, she spotted her fiftieth teddy bear under her bed. "There you are!" she cooed, scooping the blue and silver teddy up. "Thought you could hide from me. You were wrong!" After giving the bear a quick cuddle, she kissed it's nose, changed into her daily uniform, and headed downstairs.   
  
The breakfast room was all a buzz with the freak thunderstorm that had just occurred. Sonomi ducked her head and proceeded into the room, but she did not, unfortunately, go unnoticed. It was hard to ignore a huge orange teddy bear.   
  
"Hiiiiii Sonomi." Hollered Megan. Sonomi sighed softly.   
  
"Good morning Megan." She said dutifully. Colleen came bouncing in just then and exchanged her greetings too.   
  
"Hi Sonomi wow did you see that random thunderstorm that almost happened well it didn't and that's good cause then we'd all be really wet and that'd be sad wow I'm hyper can't you tell?" As the blonde goddess stopped to catch her breath, Sonomi nodded. "Ok…" she said slowly, before heading to the food area.  
  
_Sometimes I wish I was on an island, like Lindsay. _Sonomi thought.   
  
_Speak for yourself. _came the reply. _Oooooohhh is that bacon?!   
  
_Sonomi smirked and took a bite. _Mmm sooo good. _she said evilly. She received a mental kick in the head.   
  
_Shut up _Lindsay said grumpily, who sulked off to finish her breakfast of cold fish and bugs. Sonomi finished the piece of meat happily. _Poor Lindsay_. she thought privately. Then, rubbing her head, _On second thought, nevermind_. the Asian said grumpily. She finished filling up her plate, and went to sit in the dining area, but was met with a surprise.  
  
There, in the middle of the room, sitting on HER cushion, was Jason. He looked perfectly pleased with staying there, regardless of Megan's and Colleen's evil glares. Sonomi glanced around, but there were no other empty seats. So, not wanting to be rude, she did the most logical thing she could think of; she sat on Lauren. "Thank you." The Asian said sweetly, as the blond goddess gave a squeak of surprise. Lauren responded by dumping Sonomi unto the floor. Sonomi sat there, dazed for a moment. Then she got up with a huff, and marched out of the room, wiggling her tail for emphasis.  
  
Once outside, Sonomi took a few deep breaths of the crisp morning air. Then she sneezed. Damn pollen. Oh well. Time to go to lessons. Sonomi gave a smile, and skipped off to Athena's temple in Athens. It was a rather long skip, but Sonomi made it in record time. Soon she was standing in front of the Parthenon. It was still too early for any worshipers, so Sonomi made her way into the massive temple with ease. Athena loved being near the mortals, to help and guide them, but she didn't like the constant fawning and attention. Therefore she only came here in the morning and at night. Inside, a few elderly priestesses were lighting candles silently. The faint sounds of metal against metal and bubbling laughter were heard from the back of the temple, behind the large draperies that created the illusion of a back wall. Sonomi bowed slightly at the priestesses, who were smiling warmly at the huge teddy bear, and then entered the back room.   
  
Athena was just finishing up a round of sword practice with the ghost of Odysseus. The war hero thrust his sword at the war goddess's weak side, but Athena was ready. Twisting out of the way, she blocked his attack, and brought her weapon up to meet his. With a quick flick of the wrist, she sent his sword flying. "I win." She said solemnly, sword at Odysseus's neck. Then she cracked a smile and extended her hand. Odysseus shook it, and then faded away, back to the Elysian fields. The gray-eyed goddess then turned to Sonomi. "Would you like to try?" she asked.  
  
Sonomi shrugged and picked up the sword. "I'm not very good." She whined, dragging the heavy weapon into fighting stance. Athena smiled. Then she struck. Sonomi blocked it with a squeak, her arm muscles burning. Back and forth the swords went. Sonomi was getting tired; her orange teddy bear suit was soaked with sweat and felt like lead. Still Athena pressed on, swinging this way and that. Finally she spied a gap in Sonomi's defenses and drove her weapon home. The little Asian dropped her weapon in defeat as the war goddess's sword ran clean through her. She sank to the floor in a moan. "Ugh. Ugh! UGHHHHH!!!" Sonomi groaned, dramatically dying. Athena rolled her eyes at the teddy goddess rolling on the floor. She walked forward casually, and yanked the sword out of Sonomi' gut.   
  
"Nice try, but you're immortal."   
  
"Oh yea." Sonomi said. Brushing herself off, she stood up with a smile. "So, what are we doing today?" she asked quizzically. Since Aubrey was off fixing her temple that Megan had burned, Sonomi had the lesson time all to herself. Athena grinned, her gray eyes alight with an idea.   
  
"Well, since you've already learned how to make, give, control stuffed animals, AND you've taught them to dance, I think now would be a good time to…" she paused for dramatic effect. "create your very own teddy bear army!"   
  
Sonomi gasped. "NO!" she cried, "I don't wanna hurt them!"   
  
Athena gave a frustrated growl. "You're immortal, therefore your creations can be immortal too."  
  
Sonomi relaxed at this news. "Ok. Sounds fun!" she said excitedly.  
  
Athena smiled and clapped her hands. Servants appeared in the door, carrying trays. Some held miniature armor and weapons, others held a large number the teddy bears Sonomi had made a few days earlier. They set them on the floor and backed out of the room with a bow. Soon there was silence in the room. Athena gave a soft cough, and turned to Sonomi. "Well?" Sonomi sighed and clapped her hands. Suddenly the entire ensemble of stuffed animals came to life, dancing an Irish step dance as music came out of no where. Sonomi then pointed to the armor. Legs still moving, the toys waited patiently in single file as each of them grabbed armor and a sword. One particularly picky teddy, a bright green one, took about ten minutes repositioning his armor and polishing it with his paw. Finally Sonomi grew impatient with him and gave him a soft kick. It sent him flying across the room with a squeal, but luckily his armor was in the right place so he landed safely.  
  
Soon all the teddies had what they wanted and order was restored. Sonomi paced back and forth, looking at her stuffed regime. Yes, they would do well. She then turned with a snap of her heels to face Athena. "Ok, now what?" she asked. Athena produced an army of big stuffed dummies in the corner. "Just speak in a commanding voice and have them attack." She ordered Sonomi. The teddy goddess nodded and then turned to her miniature army. "Attack!" she screamed, pointing at the dummies. In a cloud of dust, they obeyed. In a few short minutes the dust settled. There stood a heap of dummy material. On top, a pink teddy bear was struggling to raise a flag. She succeeded with the help of a purple, and a red bear. Together they stood in victory as the rest of the stuffed animal population looked in wonder and awe. There was complete and utter silence, save for the clapping from Athena. "I think they will work well." The war goddess said.   
  
Just then a scream erupted from outside. Athena and Sonomi rushed to the front of the temple and peered down at the chaos below. A black tidal wave was slowly engulfing the city. Citizens were running in fear as warriors clamored for their armor. Sonomi squinted at the scene and gasped. It wasn't black water, it was Spartans, in their dark armor on ebony horses. Leading them, on a blood-bay stallion, was Ares. He raised his sword as if in a trance and gave an odd war cry. The Spartans, ready for Athenian blood, sped forward.  
  
Athena reached for her sword, but Sonomi was quicker. She gave a sharp shrill whistle that stopped the Spartans dead in their tracks. They turned to the Athenian acropolis, and were met with a nightmare. Slowly rising was a black-haired goddess in an orange bear skin. Her eyes blazed fiery red and she held a thin metal staff in one hand. As the Spartans looked on in horror, the goddess raised her hand. Suddenly a huge cloud blackened the sky. It was a horrific army of teddy bears, beady black eyes glistening, weapons in hand. As Sonomi gave an eagle cry, the stuffed army descended up the poor Spartans. Trained as they were, the warriors were unprepared for legions of immortal teddies.   
  
As the center of Athens was enveloped in blood, turmoil, and screams, Sonomi and Athena made their way down into the chaos. Athena headed towards Ares, who was sitting on his horse, hacking at anything who got in her way. Sonomi followed suit, shoving all aside with her Pooh bear staff. Finally she saw a straight path to Ares. Gathering all of her strength, the Asian goddess hurled her spear at the war god. It hit his side, sending him to the ground. The shocking fall of their rallier sent the Spartans into confusion. Most took off for the boats, teddy bears still clinging to their arms like fuzzy piranhas. Ares struggled to his feet and ran after the warriors, but Athena's elbow connected with his temple and he fell over again, unconscious.   
  
As the dust finally settled, Sonomi picked her way through the dead bodies, retrieved her staff, and walked over to Athena, who was leaning over Ares. The war god groaned and opened his eyes. Then he saw the two ticked goddesses towering over him.   
  
"Oh shit" he moaned, and tried to sit up.   
  
Sonomi drove her spear at his head. "I don't appreciate that language." She said sternly.   
  
Athena bent over and grabbed Ares by the neck. "What in Dad's name were you thinking?! The Athenians and the Spartans had JUST reached an uneasy peace. You've just started another war! The Spartans'll probably alliance with the PERSIANS now for Dad's sake! Do you realize this?!" the warrior goddess shook her brother for emphasis. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he went limp. Athena threw him to the ground in disgust.   
  
"I'm going to send him to Zeus. See how he weasels out of THIS one." The war goddess muttered. Then, turning around, she addressed Sonomi. "Well, I think you handled that very well. Good job on the lesson for the day." she said, beaming. Indeed, it had gone very well. Teddy bears were slowly climbing out of the rubble and coming up from the shore. They were a little battered and bruised, and some had stuffing coming out, but all were ok. The worst injury was a missing arm on a sapphire teddy. Sonomi rushed over to the poor animal and conjured up a new arm for it. The next few minutes were spent sewing in missing stuffing, mending torn fur, shining scuffed eyes, and brushing scruffy noses. Soon the teddy army was as good as new. Sonomi went around, patting the heads of each brave little soldier. They bowed low and marched off into Athena's temple.  
  
As Sonomi and Athena watched the miniature warriors make their way up the acropolis, Athens began to come to life again. Citizens began coming out of houses, stepping lightly over Spartan bodies. Athena gave a small groan as she saw priests coming her way with trays fills with burning meat. _They'll start groveling at our feet soon. _she grumbled. Sonomi nodded and closed her eyes. As the grateful citizens approached the two goddesses, fire pillars of fire suddenly rose from the earth. They turned into five fury dolls, eyes ablaze and hair of fire. As the Athenians backed away in fear and awe, the toys picked up the goddesses and bore them up, up, and away to Mount Olympus.   
  
As Sonomi and Athena got to the base of the mountain, they saw thunder and lightning shooting out from Zeus's quarters. Athena smirked. "Ares is getting what he deserves." She said, satisfied. Sonomi dodged as a large rock came rolling her way. The fury dolls sped up the mountain at lightning speed. They reached the entranceway just in time to see Ares come running out, badly burned and pissed off. He passed them, and Sonomi was unfortunate enough to glance up. The back of his toga was gone, exposing his very pale butt. _Ugh!!! Bad image!!!!!! _she cried. Athena looked very puzzled at her apprentice, who was now rolling around with anguish. She finally ended up dragging Sonomi into Olympus and into her house.  
  
Athena plopped down on a chair as Sonomi leaned against a wall. "We still have an hour or two before lunch." Athena mentioned. "What do you want to do?" Sonomi's eyes lit up.   
  
"Make more teddy bears!" she squealed.   
  
Athena rolled her eyes. "You've already made over 300 in last 3 days." She said, calculating quickly. Sonomi pouted. "So?" she whined.   
  
Athena sighed and got up. "Fine. I have a tapestry I want to work on anyway." Sonomi let out a delighted squeal and ran to her work area. She quickly began plans for 5 teddy bears, 3 stuffed ducks, and 1 very large pink rabbit. She could hear Athena already working on her weaving; the shuttle making a rhythmic beat as it went back and forth.   
  
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Sonomi bounced up to get it so Athena didn't have to stop her work. She opened the door and was met with a surprise. There stood one of the gods, his winged tennis shoes fluttering. Sonomi frowned, trying to remember his name. The god smiled flirtatiously at the Asian. "Is Aubrey here?" he inquired with mock etiquette. Sonomi looked him straight in the eye.   
  
"No. Go away" .   
  
Then she slammed the door on his surprise face. Athena looked up from her weaving at the loud bang. "Who was that?" she called.  
  
"I don't know, but he wanted Aubrey," Sonomi replied. Athena gave a visible shudder and resumed work on her tapestry.   
  
Sonomi had just finished putting the ears on the rabbit when Athena announced it was time for lunch. Tenderly placing the unfinished bunny on the table, Sonomi grabbed the other completed animals and headed out the door to the new goddess complex to drop off her treasures. After leaving them on her bed, she took a short shower, cleaned and pressed her bear suit, and headed off to the banquet hall for lunch.   
  
As she opened the doors, Sonomi was shocked and annoyed to once again find Jason sitting in her seat. This time she didn't avoid the situation. Walking right up to him, she cleared her throat and addressed him. "Jason. That is my seat." She said through clenched teeth. The Filipino smiled apologetically. "Oh. I'm sorry." He said. Then he turned to strike up a conversation with Liz and Lauren who were sitting by him. Sonomi stood there annoyed, not sure what to do. Finally she gave him a smack in the back of the head and went to sit down in an empty seat at the end of the table. She was busy sulking when Aubrey came in, arms full of more offerings. Sonomi, remembering the events of earlier, went over to her. Unfortunately Aubrey didn't see her and they collided, the items flying everywhere.  
  
"Someone asked for you at Athena's." Sonomi said, watching an annoyed Aubrey pick up pieces of jewelry and flower garlands. The ensemble goddess raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Who was it?"   
  
Sonomi shook her head. "I don't know his name. He was wearing those flying shoes."   
  
_Hermes _came a voice.   
  
_Thanks Lindsay _Sonomi replied. "Yea it was Hermes."   
  
Aubrey's eye lit up and she licked her lips. "What did he want?" she said tentatively. Sonomi shrugged.   
  
"He didn't say."   
  
Aubrey sighed and gathered up her things. "Well if he doesn't leave a message, then he can't be worth my time." She said with a huff, before whisking in to eat.   
  
Sonomi sat back down and waited for the food to appear. At the other end of the table, a still hyper Colleen was complaining to Nicole. "I mean, if I had CHOSEN these powers, then I'd be ok, but I didn't even have a choice! I should be the goddess of hyperness, or flying things, or, or GREEN CHICKENS! YEA!" Nicole nodded absently and pretended to listen to the blonde's rants. Jason was busy pretending to hit on Megan, and Lauren was laughing at poor Megan's plight. Katie had convinced Liz to an arm wrestling competition, and Aubrey was busy trying on all of her new jewelry. The food finally appeared on the table and Sonomi dug in whole-heartedly.   
  
The rest of lunch was uneventful, save for Sonomi telling Lauren about Ares' white ars . The blonde goddess gave a squeal, hugging the little Asian, and proceeded into lala land, which caused her to run into a column of the Doric order. (AI: Yes, I'm bringing western civ. class into your chapter Sonomi!) Rubbing her head vaguely, she headed off to lessons, a sick smile still painted onto her face, a drunken giggle on her lips. Sonomi followed suit and headed off to lessons. She didn't, however, act like a love sick beagle in the process.   
  
As the Asian goddess entered Athena's dwellings, the red-haired goddess was no where to be found. Instead, there was a note on the front door, telling Sonomi that she could work on whatever for a little while; Athena was off talking to Zeus about Ares. Sonomi smiled and sprinted off to her work area, anxious to finish her big pink bunny. Another idea struck her fancy however, and she decided to pursue it, leaving the poor rabbit with out any eyes, a tail, or a nose. By the time Athena came back, red-faced and fuming, Sonomi had created one, grade A, Jason voodoo doll. Of course he still needed to be magicked, but judging from Athena's mood, Sonomi wasn't about to ask her about it at that moment.   
  
The weaving goddess sank into a chair with a growl, taking deep breaths. Sonomi inched forward. "What's wrong?" she asked timidly. Athena lifted her head.   
  
"Ares claims that he doesn't remember leading the Spartans into Athens. He thinks something possessed him."   
  
Sonomi gasped, but Athena waved her hand nonchalantly.   
  
"Who ever heard of someone possessing a god?!" she went on. "The idiot just doesn't want to get in trouble. Of course Zeus ate it up like ambrosia. If Hera was there, then she'd see to it that.." The war goddess trailed off, muttering to herself. Sonomi backed out of the room, and managed to finish her pink rabbit before Athena came out of her stupor.  
  
Mister Rabbit Foofoo was all done and sitting gleefully in a chair, so his creator decided to go back out and see what her mentor was doing. Athena smiled as her apprentice came in. "What would you like to do today?" she asked. Then she quickly added. "No, we're not making more teddy bears." Sonomi's eyes fell. "Fine." She sulked.   
  
There was a silence between them.   
  
A cricket chirped.  
  
Athena absentmindedly reached over and squashed the little bug.   
  
Finally Sonomi got up and stretched. "Well, can you teach me how to do voodoo?" Athena raised her eyebrow.   
  
"Why?" she asked. Sonomi shrugged. The war goddess yawned and stood up. "Alright, since we have nothing better to do. First you need a doll of someone." Sonomi smiled and whipped out her Jason doll. Up went Athena's eyebrow again. "You've been planning this haven't you?" she accused Sonomi. The Asian shrugged and held out the mini-Filipino. "Maybe…" she said. The redhead took the doll, shrugged, and walked into a back room, beckoning Sonomi to follow.   
  
By the time meditation came around, Sonomi had perfected a Jason voodoo doll, and, after wheedling her instructor a bit, made three nymph dolls who would serve as carriers over water. As the gray pigeon flew in through the window, Sonomi gathered up her torture device, and skipped off to Hestia's place.  
  
She got there in record time, beating everyone but Lauren and Aubrey. Speaking of which, the two blondes seemed to be doing some black market trading of slaves and clothing. Sonomi glared at them suspiciously, but let it slide; she wasn't about to mess with the affairs of other goddesses. Soon Colleen and Megan came running into the room, looking nervously behind them. They had every right to do so, because in came Nicole, looking rather furious, a bright green stain down the front of her dress. As the duo collapsed into fits of laughter, Lindsay materialized, looking very confused. Not long after her arrival, Liz and Katie showed up, and the meditation could begin.  
  
Hestia clapped her hands, calling everyone to order, but Sonomi was too quick. "Attention everyone. _ahem_ ATTENTION!!!!" Everyone quieted down to see what the little black-haired goddess had up her sleeve. Grinning like a madwoman, Sonomi reached behind her back, and dramatically pulled out the Jason voodoo doll. There were gasps and some "oooohs" and "ahhhhs" as well. Everyone just stared, shocked into silence. Finally Liz spoke up.   
  
"Can I try first?"  
  
Sonomi grinned and tossed the doll to the spiky-haired goddess. Liz lightly tapped the doll's head, then grabbed his ear and twisted. A faint yell was heard from Hephasteus' dwelling. Nicole let out a giggle and pinched the doll's leg. Soon everyone had at least poked the doll once. Suddenly Colleen's eyes lit up evilly. She grabbed a pinch of air and drew out a needle. Megan, having that mental bond with the blonde goddess, gave a delighted gasp and grabbed the needle. There was a quick scuffle between the two. Finally they just said "We'll do it together." At the same time. Grasping the needle together, they drove it home, right into "the family jewels" as Katie would put it.  
  
The scream ricocheted across Mount Olympus rocked the very core of Hestia's villa. Everyone turned, wide-eyed, to Colleen and Megan, who were giving each other high-fives over and over again. Finally, a very pale Lindsay spoke up.   
  
"Even I'm not THAT evil." She breathed.   
  
"Yes you are." Came the immediate response.  
  
Lindsay gave a small grin. "OK, fine." She consented. Soon a revered silence fell upon them. Then, Hestia began to giggle. Nicole cracked a grin and joined her. Soon the whole villa was shaking again, this time from the sounds of jovial amusement.

_8888888_

"Is it bad Doc?" Jason moaned. Apollo shook his head and patted Jason on the hand. "I think you'll be fine." He said consolingly. Jason sighed with relief and turned over in the bed. Suddenly he caught a whiff of perfume; like a wild rose on a summer evening. He turned to see Apollo in the door way, grinning like a fool. Next to him stood Aphrodite with a suggestive smirk on her face. "I'll take it from here Doc." She said smoothly. Apollo edged out of the room and Aphrodite came over to Jason's bedside. "Poor baby." She cooed, giving him a soft kiss on the forehead. Jason grinned and settled in for a long and slow recovery.

_88888888_

Sonomi gave a small yawn and stood up. They had done the same lesson as the one the first day, only this time they had done a moving object. Sonomi decided on her military teddy. After reliving the battle through his eyes, she had a few ideas on how to handle the next battle. If there was one. Everyone else was stretching: getting out the kinks and knots. Lindsay was busy telling Lauren and Megan the best way to sauté ladybugs as she disappeared. No one felt like doing anything, so they just sort of lazed around Hestia's place until the sun went down with a spectacular pink and purple farewell.   
  
Up in her room, Sonomi gave her fifty teddy bears a quick cuddle before settling in. Of course she had to give EACH of them a separate hug, so it was midnight by the time she was done, and Selene was already up, driving her lunar chariot across the sky. Sonomi gave the moon goddess a friendly wave, and settled into bed. Soon the whole goddess hall was shook with loud chainsaw noises. No one paid any mind now, it was just Sonomi, fast asleep.  
  
_Another one down! Next is Aubrey's chapter. Expect it to be a bit like Lauren's in the way of romance. Aren't you glad Sonomi's nice and pure!!! cough cough. _


	9. Guest Becca

_This is straying off the story a bit here. A chapter for Becca- my synchro buddy! I took Meg's suggestion. And no, this doesn't mean I'm doing guest chapter galore either. Don't ask me _bares fangs  
_Some things to know:  
  
1)Atlantis: mythical city that sank under the ocean  
  
2) Tantalus: a mortal who was damned to Tartarus, where he was stuck in a lake, but couldn't drink the water, and couldn't eat the fruit that was just above his head.  
  
3) Prometheus: a Titan that was condemned to have his liver pecked out every day by an eagle  
  
4) Elysian Fields: where the heroes and basically really good guys go after they die_  
  
Becca sat in Hades' throne, looking bored and tossing a coin. This wasn't just any coin though, it was the coin that decided the fate of the world. Fortunately for us, the coin kept landing on "the world survives", which lead Becca to believe that it was weighted. She had a lot of time to think recently, after completing all of her lessons, acing her training, and sending Hades into a corner shivering, all in the first day. Becca sighed and shifted her weight. Being trained to become the goddess of sarcasm, cynicism, and evil glares was so boring if you'd had practice all your life.  
  
Soon the reason Becca was still awake could be heard very clearly; the whines and moans of the damned. They were so loud! Didn't they ever shut up? Becca sighed and stuffed more cotton in her ears, when suddenly, a high pitched wail pierced the misty quiet where she sat. Becca gave an annoyed growl and proceeded to find the offender. She walked briskly over to Tartarus, her charcoal toga softly swishing along the ground, and the amethysts on her mahogany sandals twinkling evilly. She followed the sound of the wailing lament, and soon came upon Tantalus, who was sobbing.  
  
"What are you doing?" she demanded angrily. Tantalus turned his tear-streaked face to the goddess.  
  
"I'm so thirsty." He moaned. "So thirsty and so hungry." Then he shut his eyes and began to wail again.  
  
Becca rolled her eyes. "Of course you're hungry." She snapped. "It's your punishment. But you're too stupid to realize that. So you just go on and on and won't let anyone else have any bit of piece and quiet just because you fucked up in real life, and it landed you here. And further more…"  
  
By the time Becca was through with him, Tantalus had forgotten his hunger and thirst. He covered low in the lake that he sat, trying to avoid the goddess's wrath. Unfortunately, since the water kept receding away from him, he wasn't hiding too well; he was just curled up in a little ball at the bottom of the lake, trying desperately to disappear. Becca finished her torture with an icy glare, turned on her heels, and marched out of Tartarus.  
  
Back in Hades' throne, Becca gave a stretch and a loud yawn. There was so little to do! She had already tried to call her sister, Meg, to tease her, but since Meg hadn't been born in ancient Greece, therefore she wasn't born yet, and Becca had to be content with sending her a long voice mail in hopes that you would get it in a few hundred years. Becca gave bored groan and sank back into the cold onyx chair grumpily. A few minutes passed by when she finally decided to go and wake Hades up.  
  
The god of the dead was snoring softly when Becca approached. Since this was the time of year that Persephone wasn't with him, Hades could be a slob and sleep in as late as her wanted. Unfortunately, Becca decided that he had slept enough. Taking a deep breath, she screamed "WAKE UP!" in his pale ear. Hades bolted upright with a start, a look of panic in his eyes. Then he saw Becca standing in front of him, hands on her hips. Groaning, he sank back into bed. Becca wasn't about to let him go back to bed though. She grabbed his hair and hauled him out of his room, navy pajamas and all. Finally Hades stood up, yawning.  
  
"I want to kill someone today." Becca announced.  
  
Hades rubbed his eyes and blinked at her. "Who?" was all he said. The goddess furrowed her brow in concentration. Who did she want to destroy today? Tantalus would be nice, but he was already dead. Snapping her fingers, she produced a map of Ancient Greece and scanned over it. Her eyes fell on a small island city and her eyes lit up.  
  
"I want to flood this." She announced, jabbing her finger at the town.  
  
Hades looked at where she was pointing. "Atlantis?" he said puzzled. "Why?" Becca shrugged.  
  
"They'll eventually drown anyway."  
  
Hades shook his head to clear away the fuzziness and nodded. He clapped his hands and large door opened above them with a metallic clang. Another clap brought Hades' ebony chariot down, pulled by two decaying horses. The two immortals climbed into chariot and soon they were off, speeding through the dusky morning air. Becca kept peering at the landscape below, trying to figure out where they were, but Hades knew exactly where he was going. In no time, they had come upon a large island city, in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea.  
  
Becca stared in awe at the blue sea-glass domes of the city, shimmering with opals and pearls. Atlantis was an extremely beautiful city. It was also scientifically advanced for it's time. There were whispered rumors that they had genetically altered some of their people with gills and fins, but since genetics wasn't even founded yet, there was little proof to these claims. The Atlantians could always just plead ignorance, since they didn't know what genes were yet.  
  
Word spread quickly in the large island city, and soon many of the citizens were outside, craning their necks to get a better look at the god and goddess that loomed ominously nearby. Once she saw that she had their attention, Becca cleared her throat and began to speak.  
  
"You are all going to die today."  
  
The response wasn't a good one. While the children and some of the lesser men began screaming, the men and women of the city grabbed whatever weapon they could find and marched up to meet the goddess in a fury.  
  
Becca looked down at the pandemonium she had just caused and scoffed. Turning her eyes to the sea, she concentrated on the towering waves, letting her eyes glaze over a brilliant green. The people of Atlantis didn't notice the rising surf until it was at their ankles, and by then, it was too late. Waves came rolling onto the mainland as Atlantians ran screaming inside to protect what they had. Slowly but steadily, the entire city was engulfed but crystal blue water. The screams of the citizens were quickly swallowed by the vast Mediterranean. Soon, all that was left was the sapphire spiral of city hall. With in seconds, that too was swallowed up by the tide. Becca gave a satisfied nod and turned to Hades, who stuck out his hand. Becca took and shook it heartily. "What next?" she said hungrily.  
  
Hades shrugged. "Shall we go torment Prometheus?" he asked. Becca's eyes lit up and she nodded vigorously. Soon the terrible two were back in the chariot, flying across the sea to the ominous cliff that held Prometheus captive. Along the way, they flew over Lindsay's island. Lindsay was under a tree as they passed, rocking back and forth. Becca couldn't resist tormenting the redhead a little bit.  
  
"Hi Chippy!" the goddess hollered.  
  
Lindsay looked up, frowned, and stuck out her tongue. _Beware _the grumpy goddess hissed. _I've mastered this gift of telepathy_. With that she began to concentrate on the goddess laughing above her. Becca was about to throw another cruel tease at Lindsay (something about being an '06 girl), when suddenly, songs from the musical "Bye Bye Birdie" came blasting into her head. She crumpled to the floor of the chariot with an earth-shattering "noooooo." And lay there, twitching, as a very confused Hades drove the skeletal horses over to Prometheus.  
  
The Titan was sleeping fitfully as they approached, so he didn't see them. Prometheus moaned sadly, having a nightmare about the eagle that always appeared. This time the eagle was a girl with brown hair, and she was busy poking him and laughing. Prometheus tried to escape from her torture, but the chains held him fast. He was just about to bite her, when a huge weight fell onto his shoulders, waking him up with a start. The weight was still on his shoulders, accompanied now with a gleeful laugh. Prometheus looked up and nearly died from shock.  
  
There, sitting contentedly on his shoulders, was the girl from his dream. She gave a smug smile and yanked cruelly on his hair. Then she jumped lightly off his shoulders and landed neatly in front of him, the sly grin still on her face. "Hello." She said pleasantly. "I'm Becca, goddess of sarcasm, cynicism, and evil glares. I've come to pester you." Before she could do anything else however, an ear piercing scream shook the sky. Prometheus paled as he saw the blurry shape in the sky grow bigger. It was the eagle, coming to peck out his liver again. Becca followed his gaze, and caught sight of the raptor. She rolled her eyes and glared at the bird. The eagle kept coming closer, closer, until it was about 2 feet away. Suddenly it stopped flying, slowly turning to ice. As Becca's glare took effect, the frozen bird plummeted to the ground like a stone, giving a small thud as it hit. Becca turned back to a very frightened Prometheus and smirked.  
  
"Where were we?"

_999999999_

Becca climbed back into the chariot, satisfied that she had caused Prometheus more pain than the eagle would ever have. She and Hades flew back to the dark underworld in silence. There they ate a somber meal of pomegranates, pheasant, and wine. After he was done, Hades got up and started to belch. He stopped with a shudder as Becca glared at him, and cleared his throat. "Since you were able to do what you wished this morning." He began slyly. "I think it is only fair that your help me all afternoon."  
  
Becca stood up with fright, knocking the ebony platters to the floor. "No way in Hell." She hissed. Hades gave her a wry smile.  
  
"We are in Hell." He commented cryptically.  
  
Becca tried to make a run for it, but her dress snagged on a sharp stone, pinning her to her spot. She could only scream hysterically as Hades came closer.  
  
"56,190" Becca read off dully. The spirit nodded and proceeded down the steps into the after world. Becca stifled a yawn and turned to the next ghost. Only two hours had passed and she was already going crazy. How much longer would she be stuck doing this?! "56,191, 56192." Becca ticked off the spirits in an uneven chant. Suddenly something caught her eye. It was light streaming out from behind a well concealed door embedded in the rock. Abandoning her post, the bored goddess went to investigate.  
  
The door had a push handle, and had a sign on it. Written in bold letters, it read "Authorized Personnel Only." Becca shrugged. She was a goddess; she was authorized. Grasping the handle, she gave a tentative push. The door wasn't locked, but it was stuck. Becca braced her shoulder against the door, and pushed harder. After a few minutes, the door gave, sending Becca sprawling forward.  
  
Brushing herself off, she stood up and looked around in amazement. She was standing in the Elysian Fields! To her left was a sapphire lake, complete with a large waterfall. Silver fish darted along the surface, while emerald frogs jumped across lily pads. All the trees were in bloom, filling the air with intoxicating and heady scents. As Becca began to walk, her face filled with awe, creatures began coming out from behind trees. There were deer, bluebirds, and foxes. But the best discovery was the troupe of hot guys that greeted her. Becca gave a coy smile and settled herself down in the soft grass. "Who would like to tell me about this place first?" she asked sweetly.

_999999_

Hades was looking angrily for his apprentice. She had neglected her post, sending the oncoming spirits in pandemonium. Some had even tried to get back over the River Styx. After looking all over the place, he finally came to the door for entering the Elysian Fields. It was ajar. Angrily, Hades grabbed the handle and slammed the door shut. No telling what had already seeped into there? Hades took a deep breath. Well, now that his apprentice was gone, he could sleep in. The god of the dead let loose a small grin, and trotted happily back to his sleeping quarters. 


	10. Aubrey

Please, forgive me for not updating recently. Evil computers and viruses and stuff. growl. Anyway, this is Aubrey's chapter, the goddess of ensembles and gansta lingo. I had a lot of trouble writing this as I don't see Aubrey anymore. (Damn homeschooling on her part), so it's not a very good chapter. This version is different than the one on my fictionpress site in that Aubrey's love interest is different. Don't ask.   
  
Some things to know:  
  
1) Helios: god of the sun that drives it across the sky  
  
2) Arachne: girl who was changed into a spider by Athena. There's a whole myth with that. Don't ask.  
  
Aubrey woke up pleasantly to 10 guys surrounding her bed. "Why hello." She said in a sultry voice, not the least bit surprised to see them. "I didn't expect you this early." The one on her left gave a lopsided grin and leaned over the ensemble goddess. Aubrey gave a silent squeal and sat up for a kiss, when   
  
WHAM   
  
something ran into her window and woke her up.   
  
Jumping out of bed with a curse, Aubrey flung a robe on and stumbled over to her huge glass window. With all her strength, she managed to fling the window wide open. In stumbled a cherub, wings fluttering, face pale and sweaty. Aubrey waited impatiently as the little cupid struggled to his feet, gasping for breath. Finally he turned to face her, and uttered one sentence before falling over in a complete faint.  
  
"You have fans."  
  
Five seconds later, a very bubbly Aubrey came bursting into breakfast, blinding all with her orange morning dress. "Hallo!!!" she yelled. The goddess was met with a few greetings, and many more glares. A sleepy-eyed Megan threw a pillow at her, and Colleen let out an ugly snarl. Apparently not all were as wide awake as Aubrey was. Shrugging, she stuck her nose in the air and floated into the food room.   
  
After piling up her plate, and helping herself to a huge handful of food, Aubrey went to sit down in the lounge area. Lauren and Katie were talking about how cute guys would be in pink, Nicole and Colleen were arguing over the discrimination of green chickens, Liz and Megan were looking at everyone strangely, and Sonomi was busy playing patty-cake with one of her bears. It was all a blissful and tranquil scene. Aubrey squinted, then frowned at Megan. "You're dress is a little tacky darling." She said kindly, exercising her powers. Megan gave a small glare at the ensemble goddess, and five seconds later, Aubrey was frantically running out of the new goddess complex, trying to avoid the dangerous cattle prod that her fellow goddess was wielding.   
  
Once safe outside, Aubrey gave a small sniff, snapped her fingers into her daily work outfit, and summoned her sedan chair. In a few seconds, the mahogany carrier was visible, being carried by a bunch of well toned, muscular slaves, all looking to be about 17. Aubrey took a mental tally as they approached. First there was Falcon and Flamingo, carrying the front of the chair, and Duck and Goose pulling the rear. Pelican walked along the side, holding a large gold tray full of grapes and wine. Chickadee perched on the special seat attached to the chair, holding a large ostrich fan. Aubrey smiled, thankful for Lauren's willingness to help her. Of course, Lauren got complete outfits out of the bargain, so it wasn't a totally one sided deal.  
  
The sedan chair stopped right in front of the ensemble goddess. Aubrey gave each of her slaves a pat on the head, then hopped into the chair. Imperiously pointing a finger in the direction of her building of worship, she commanded, "Run". And so they did.   
  
The sun had just finished rising when they had gotten to the temple, and Aubrey was sick from too many grapes. She signaled for her entourage to stop. They obliged, then fell over, some just exhausted, others dead. Aubrey climbed out of the sedan chair shakily, and reached into her pocket. She brought out a small tin of ambrosia, which she proceeded to feed to all of her slaves. They were soon as good as new, and escorted Pelican as he carried Aubrey into her temple.   
  
The reconstruction on the building was almost complete now. Crow, the main architect, hopped down off of his ladder and greeted the entering goddess with a bow. Aubrey smiled in return, and seated herself on the velvet throne in the center of the building to oversee the end of the repair. It soon became very boring to the goddess however, and she tipped her head back and fell asleep; small strands of drool decorating her chin.   
  
A loud clanging awoke the goddess with a start. She turned groggily to see what the noise was about. It was one of her priests, banging on a brass gong. Aubrey fixed him with a glare that caused his robe to fly up and tie his arms together. "No more noise." She hissed. Startled, the priest turned to the goddess, bowing frantically.   
  
"Forgive me for eternity." He gasped. "But there are worshippers here." Aubrey let out a delighted squeal at this news, and ran to the offerings area, leaving the poor priest to untie himself.  
  
The line outside the temple was moderate. It consisted mostly of young women, but there were a few older ones, and a few gay males as well. They all wanted fashion advice from the fashion guru; the new goddess in town. Aubrey politely took their sacrifices, shook their hands, kissed babies, matronly stuff. Everyone loved her. Some, more than others.. .  
  
It happened right after Aubrey had blessed a set of twins. Suddenly she felt an arm snake around her waist. She whipped around, about to give who ever was so bold a slap, when she met two eyes. These weren't just any eyes. Aubrey felt herself falling deep into their ebony gaze, nearly drowning. She tore herself away from the gaze to get a good look at the man who was stealing her heart. He was tall, muscular, with short brown hair, and a sensual smile. Letting go of her waist, the stranger bowed low, kissing Aubrey's hand. The entire temple had fallen silent, waiting for this man to speak. Finally he did.  
  
"Hello ma'am. My name is Calix. I hope I haven't offended you in any way, but I find your beauty too seductive to resist. Please have mercy on this poor mortal soul." The stranger said. He slowly stood up, taking a step closer to Aubrey, his intense gaze locked onto her. Aubrey fought back a blush as his arm replaced itself against her waist. Calix leaned in close, whispering sweetly into the goddess's ear. "Might we go somewhere a little more private where we can talk?" he asked tentatively.  
  
Aubrey cracked a grin. "Of course!" she exploded. She grabbed his hand, grinning like a fool, and led him to the steps that led to the upper chambers of the temple. Suddenly she stopped, frowning. "Hold on." She said. Then she snapped her fingers, changing into the ribbon that she had deemed as her "date costume". "All right." She said seductively, motioning to the stairs. "Shall we?"  
  
I know it's all on your minds, but NO, no one loses their virginity in this story.  
  
It was lunch time, but only Megan, Liz, Katie, and Sonomi were currently there. Lauren was off with Ares doing God-knows-what, Colleen was just "taking a stroll around the garden" with Dionysus, and Nicole hadn't shown up yet. The single women weren't terribly heart-broken though, as they had just realized that they could bewitch chess pieces, making them act like real people. Megan and Liz were currently playing, but Megan was losing sorely. This was because she had made all of her pieces guys and was taking delight in seeing Liz's army flatten them. She was having so much fun with this, that she deliberately put her pieces in harms way, cackling hysterically when one was plowed over by Liz's over zealous playing technique.   
  
Liz was just about to capture Megan's queen, (who looked a bit like Jason) when Aubrey came in through the doors. Romantic ballads played in the background, and pink rose petals began falling from the sky. Sonomi and Megan looked at each other with a knowing grin, and ran to play in the petals. Aubrey gave a sigh and turned to Liz and Katie. "Guess what?!" she shrieked. Liz and Katie exchanged looks.  
  
"You got laid?" guessed Katie.   
  
Aubrey tried to look disgusted and amused at the same time. "Ugh. No way. But I did meet this hot guy who I made-out with." As she was relaying all the juicy details, Nicole stepped into the hall.  
  
"Hi guys. Woa, lots of petals." The brunette remarked. Stepping over them lightly, she shot an odd glance at the duo who was chasing the pinkness, then turned to Aubrey, Liz and Katie. "What's up?" she asked. This of course, set Aubrey off again, so Katie and Liz decided to inconspicuously slink away to the lunch table and await the others. Sonomi and Megan joined them presently, bored with the petals. Nicole came running in a moment later, a wild look of panic on her face. Aubrey followed the brunette, her mouth still running.   
  
Just as Aubrey was finishing the sentence of "Then he showed me this really preverted trick-", Lauren came waltzing into the dining hall, much to everyone's relief. Megan immediately rushed up, sobbing, and gave a very confused Lauren a huge hug. This, unfortunately, drew attention to new prey, and Aubrey immediately attacked Lauren with a summary of her excursion. Lauren looked shocked.  
  
"You mean you made-out with a MORTAL?" the blonde gasped, spitting out the word as if it were something vile.  
  
Aubrey scoffed, offended. "No! Of course not!"she cried, "I made him immortal first. Besides, he was a REALLY good kisser."  
  
This was all too much for Megan to bear. She let out a howl like a wounded dog and raced into the kitchen area. A series of small thuds was heard, giving the goddesses the impression that Megan was performing a Colleen against the wall. Their hearts went out to her. But first, Lunch.  
  
Soon everyone was talking and laughing over a small feast of scallions and shrimp with mushrooms. Colleen had eventually entered the scene, and had engaged Lauren in a fierce competition of "who loves who more" which ultimately ended in a draw. Aubrey decided that Colleen should know about her dealings today, but after being hit in the face with a sticky shrimp, she sulked into silence. The rest of lunch was pleasantly uneventful.  
  
After lunch break was over, Aubrey leaned back, belched, and summoned her sedan chair to take her back to her temple. Then she made a farewell bow and hopped into her chair, quickly leaving the glares of others behind.   
  
The temple was curiously dark when it's goddess arrived. Aubrey slowly climbed out of her chair and walked in cautiously. "Hallllllllooooooooooo" she called. All that answered her was the faint echo of her own voice. Not a single person was anywhere in the temple. All the lamps had been extinguished, even the ceremonial fire that resided by Aubrey's huge ivory statue of herself. "Where is everyone?" the ensemble goddess demanded. "I'm all alone!"  
  
Suddenly, nostalgia hit the blond like a tidal wave. Sinking to her knees, Aubrey let the tears flow. "I'm alone. I'm all alone!" she sobbed, over and over. Her sedan servants came in nervously, not quite knowing what to do, but wanting to comfort their master. Aubrey wailed and howled like a wounded dog for five minutes straight. Finally she reduced to sniffles. Standing up wearily, she brushed herself off and made an important decision.  
  
"We're going to Athena's place."  
  
Sonomi and her mentor were busy playing a game of Greek checkers when there was a knock on the palace door. Smashing three of Sonomi's pieces, Athena stood up and walked over to see who would be there at this time of day. She opened the door and let out and ear-piercing scream.  
  
"Nice to see you too." Aubrey growled, hands on her ears.  
  
Sonomi came over to the door and smiled. "Hi Aubrey. Are you coming for lessons now?" Athena glared at her teddy bear student, but Sonomi took no notice.   
  
Aubrey grinned thankfully. "Yea, I think I'll crash here for a while." she said, pushing past the speechless war goddess and into the hall. "Is this my room on the right?" she inquired. After a moment of silence, she lifted her skirt and walked on, saying "Well, of course it is". Soon, crashes and the sound of things breaking could be heard from within the room. "What is this thing?" called Aubrey. "With all the string? Whoops!"  
  
Athena paled. "My loom!" she screamed, and ran in to save her weaving room from total destruction. Sonomi just sighed and went back to the game.  
  
By the time the gray pigeon flew in for meditation, Aubrey had learned how to dye cloth, cause one to speak in "gansta", and that you should get in between a red-head and her possessions. Damn right Lindsay had commented as Aubrey stumbled out of the palace, her hair singed and her dress a sickening shade of yellow.   
  
Shut up. The blond goddess huffed. Straightening her hair, she flounced off to Hestia's. She didn't flounce very far though, after suddenly remembering that she had a sedan chair and she could be as lazy as she wanted. Summoning that, she made it to meditation in record time. Of course, some people had already beaten her there. Aubrey glowered at Megan, who was chatting happily with Hestia, and Liz, who was having a great time sparring with one of Sonomi's teddy bears. Soon the stuffed animal goddess herself arrived, followed by Nicole, Colleen, a flushed Lauren, Lindsay, and finally Katie.  
  
As soon as everyone settled down, Hestia detailed the day's lesson. "Today we are going to do something very different." she began. Suddenly the floor disappeared, and the goddesses found themselves in a deep, dank cavern. Hestia was no where to be found, but millions of bugs were everywhere. "Where am I?" came the hearth goddess's voice. "Or rather, which bug am I?"  
  
Nicole turned an odd color of green. "This is disgusting." she murmured  
  
"It's not that bad!" laughed Liz, who had just been squirted with purple dye by one of the bugs.  
  
Lindsay snatched up a handful of the critters and popped them into her mouth. "Mmmmm. Delicious."  
  
"Don't do that!" Aubrey screamed. "Anyone of them could have been Hestia!" Lindsay made a face.   
  
"Oh. Right."  
  
Megan gave a sharp whistle to get everyone's attention. "Hestia doesn't like the cold, so she's not going to be a blue bug." she mused  
  
Now you're starting to think straight. came a voice.  
  
Lindsay grinned and began harvesting all the aqua creepies. "Alright, anyone else have an idea?"  
  
The nine goddesses finally found Hestia as a red (for her hearth fire) spider (for her agreement with Athena on Arachne) sitting on a rock at the mouth of the cavern (for the entrance to her home). The goddess changed back into herself and congratulated the goddesses on their effort. "Once you start working together, it's really not that bad." she said, wagging a finger at them.  
  
Aubrey rolled her eyes. "Spare me the lesson for the day. And next time, NO BUGS!". Everyone agreed whole-heartedly, except for Lindsay, but she had already disappeared back to her island and therefore did not count.  
  
As Helios waved his final good-byes to the earth and drove his blazing chariot home, the goddesses trouped home. Aubrey lagged behind, contemplating the day, when she felt a feathery touch on her shoulder. Turning around, she met those deep mysterious eyes she had grown to love. The ensemble goddess smiled.  
  
"Hello Calix."  
  
It was quite late by the time Aubrey came into the new goddess complex, but she didn't care. It felt like day to her, with the birds singing, and the winds whistling cheerfully. Her smile lingered as she settled into bed and fell asleep. 


	11. Liz

_Ok, another successful chapter completed! I'm so conceited. (Hey that rhymes!) This is the goddess of random pranks on mortals, Liz! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, almost as much as Sonomi's. Maybe even more than Sonomi's! Ah, screw it, I don't feel like deciding. _Author gets drop kicked by a crowd of angry chickens _OK! On with the story!  
  
Some things to know:  
  
1) Some Greek cities: Athens, Olympia, Troy, Sparta  
  
2) The myth goes that after Perseus killed Medusa, Pegasus sprang out of her neck  
  
3) Muses: the nine goddesses of the arts  
  
4) Daphne: a nymph that Apollo chased. She turned into a Laurel bush, which is the symbol of Apollo.  
  
5) The Jesus quote is Liz's. I own no part of it  
  
6) Dirty Clarence is basically Liz's muse  
  
Now, with out further ado!!!!!!_  
  
The sun climbed up Mount Olympus in a crescendo, and by the time it reached the new goddess complex, it was at a forte. Behind gauzy curtains, a snowy white tiger awoke slowly to the noise. It yawned loudly, displaying pearly dagger-like teeth, and stretched on the pile of silk pillows that was it's bed. Suddenly, a golden spike of hair sprang up from the tiger's forehead. The cat growled and tried to groom it down with a paw, but another lock of hair took it's place. The tiger let out a sigh.  
  
_Screw it  
_  
In a soft green glow, it turned back into the goddess of random pranks on mortals, better known as Liz.  
  
The full solar orchestra was still going on, so Liz grabbed her duck staff and went to the window to silence it.

_1111111_

After a few minutes of whacking around cherubs with instruments and giving Helios a black eye, a very satisfied Liz decided that it was time for breakfast. Sprinting down the stairs, the goddess took a flying leap and collided with a black toga. As she struggled to her feet, Liz was met with an anxious and frightened Ares.  
  
"What are YOU doing here?" she growled. Ares glanced around frantically, saw an open window, and made his get away, but not before Liz saw what he was hiding behind his back. Shuddering, the goddess quickly made her way down to the dining room.  
  
Everyone but Megan and Katie was already down there, leisurely chewing. Liz turned and addressed the goddess on her left.  
  
"Lauren, your boyfriend is stealing your underwear."  
  
The blonde bolted out of her chair and ran screaming down the hall. "NOT MY THONG!!!!"  
  
Liz watched her go, then leisurely strolled into the kitchen area. After getting a meal, she walked over and sat down in Lauren's chair. Too much trouble, these relationships. Thank god she wasn't in one. Of course, there had been that secret admirer note, but Liz later found out it was from Pan. She had yet to exact her revenge. Speaking of revenge and Pan, here came Megan, looking rather sleepy. She grunted and shoveled food onto her plate as Liz said hello. The spiky-haired goddess made a mental note to put some fushia frogs into Megan's bed to lighten her up.  
  
Liz yawned slightly, observed the pheasant bones on her plate (even though she was a vegetarian), and proceeded to change into her tiger form to chow them down. Unfortunately, not everyone had been informed that she had this ability, and it was quite a shock when Megan came back in the room. She let out an ear-piercing shriek that could loosely be interpreted as "O MY GOD! LIZ GOT EATEN BY A HUGE CAT!", which brought Katie running down the stairs groggily, tripping, and falling on her face.  
  
"Megan you idiot." the blonde groaned, standing up slowly. "That's Liz." As if to prove that point, a lock of gold hair sprang up from the tiger's head.  
  
_I only started practicing yesterday. _the tiger purred, pawing at the spike. Megan checked her heart rate and walked back over to breakfast with a humph. "Oh well, I wouldn't have MINDED you getting eaten..."  
  
Liz stuck her tongue out at the goddess' back and sat back down. Just then, a very red-faced Lauren came into the room. She slumped into a chair and triumphantly held up her pathetic excuse for underwear. (A/N: I don't like thongs). Nicole, Sonomi, Liz, Katie, Colleen, and Megan all rolled their eyes and got up to leave for lessons, leaving Aubrey alone to listen to Lauren's tale of daring rescue and heroism.  
  
Once outside, Liz bade a farewell to Sonomi, Colleen, Nicole and Megan. As they headed out of sight, she turned to Katie.  
  
"Shall we?"  
  
Katie, mistaking the meaning of the words, grabbed Liz's arm and skipped with her all the way to Hermes's home, All the while, a surprised Liz was screaming. "We're not gay!"But Katie ignored her. In no time they had reached the realm of Hermes.  
  
As they stopped, Liz finally managed to free herself out of Katie's iron grip. Glaring at the blonde for a moment, she turned and started towards the front door of the glittering castle that was Hermes's home. Katie shrugged and followed as the spiky goddess grabbed the huge golden knob of the door. Shoving the door, they proceeded into the hall to wait for their instructor like drooling puppy dogs. Well, actually that was only Katie, because she had a secret crush on Hermes. But that was secret.  
  
Soon the god of crooks came down the stairs in a flurry of silver and shine. He grinned and gave Liz a hi-five. Then he turned to Katie. "There's someone I'd like you to work with today." he said. On cue, a woman came down the stairs. She was dressed, head to tow, in flowing orange silk. She had on a comedy mask, and her blond hair was done up in curls. Her sparkling emerald eyes were dancing. Katie shook the woman's hand as Hermes introduced her as Thalia, the muse of comedy. "You guys have to whole morning to work on your repertoire Katie." Hermes said with a wink. Katie nodded, and started chatting with Thalia.  
  
Hermes then turned to Liz, who hung her head slightly, knowing that a lecture was coming. Still, it made her wince when Hermes brought it up.  
  
"You're getting kinda rusty."  
  
Liz let out a sigh. "I know." she said. Her last good prank was yesterday morning, when she had Pegasus fly out of Medusa's neck. That caused Perseus to run around, squawking in surprise, and finally run into a column, where Athena found him a few hours later. Unfortunately, the afternoon session didn't work out so well. Liz could barely conjure up a chicken, much less a hydra to wreak havoc on a village. "I guess I'm hitting a prankster's block." she said sullenly.  
  
Hermes grinned and clapped her on the back. "Oh, so THAT's all it is! Thank Zeus! I was afraid it was something serious! Let's go." With that, he rushed out the door, a slightly confused Liz following behind.  
  
A few minutes later, Liz was in her tiger form racing down the side of Mount Olympus, with Hermes flying next to her. "So you see," the god was finishing, "if we can find some inspiration for you, then your creative juices will start flowing again."  
  
_Got it _Liz said with a small nod. Testing her tiger strength, she coiled her muscles and lunged forward as far as she could. She made it to the bottom of the mountain. _Woa_ she breathed as Hermes finally flew down beside her. _That was easy_  
  
It was a nice warm day down in the town of Olympia. The merchants were having a successful market day as the two immortals cruised in. Some of the tourists in the town stopped to gawk and ask for photographs, but since Olympia was located at the base of Mount Olympus, the regular towns people paid the gods no mind and gave them the respected space they were entitled to. Liz was free to mingle and observe. She took down many notes in a little slate notebook she had, paying particular interest to a pair of fruit vendors that were angrily chucking their produce at each other. After watching them for a few minutes, Liz separated them regally, smacking their hands. "Bad boys. No candy for you." she scolded. The men looked at her strangely, but complied.  
  
Helios was still smarting from the morning's episode, and thus was slow in his daily gallop across the sky. The gave Liz and Hermes plenty of time to enjoy themselves. Liz held her staff as she walked, but only had to use it once when a young Athenian made a pass at her. She smacked him hard across the head, causing a large purple swell to emerge. Within seconds, the swell burst, and two striped turtles came crawling out of the confused man's head, singing the "La Bamba" at the top of their lungs. Hermes grinned when this happened.  
  
"See? You're already becoming your old self again!"  
  
Liz grinned.  
  
By the time it was lunch, Liz had collected twenty-three pages of notes, played eight games of Chinese checkers, and had beaten 126 men in a race, not in her tiger form. Smiling smugly, the goddess took a bow to her applauding audience. Then she threw back her head and let out a howl. Instantly, two black panthers came up from the ground, as if they were shadows. Liz climbed into the saddle between them, and bidding a farewell, headed back up Mount Olympus.  
  
As the spiky-haired goddess was just about to make landing at the new goddess complex, she was cut off by a small thundercloud. "Hey! Watch where your going!" Liz yelled as she steered her shadow panthers out of the cloud's path. As it landed, Megan climbed regally off the top, followed by an entourage of flying monkeys.  
  
"Isn't it great?!" she yelled to a parking Liz, indicating her cloud. "Hera and Artemis gave it to me because I'm doing so well in my lessons. Ooh, cool panthers by the way." Liz smiled in gratitude, then followed Megan into the dining hall. Katie was already seated at the table, telling Nicole and Aubrey about her morning.  
  
"-I mean, Thalia's nice and all, but what if Hermes likes her more than me? What do you think; is she cuter than I am?"  
  
Nicole sighed. "She was wearing a mask right?"  
  
Katie rolled her eyes. "But that's not the point." She huffed. Pouting slightly, she turned and started her lunch. Soon Sonomi, Lauren and Colleen entered. Lunch was peaceful and delicious, with the only mishaps being Megan's rather constant belching, and Marjorie's random entrance on top of the potato salad.  
  
After a finishing of ambrosia, Liz leaned back from the table and sighed. Then she fell out of her seat with a thud. Ad mist streams of laughter, she managed to pull herself up off the floor and walk out of the room with some dignity. That is until she ran into one of Megan's monkeys. "That's it, you are so dead." she hissed to the ape, changing into her tiger form.  
  
No one else at the table knew what had hit them, but within seconds, a screaming monkey was flying around the room, followed by a growling streak of white. Goddesses screamed as dished were broken, food was smushed, and purple fuzz fell from the ceiling. _I still got the touch _Liz said smugly as she took a well aimed leap. Suddenly the chaos stopped. The goddesses came out of hiding and looked at the table. There, sitting in the middle of it was Liz still in tiger form, with a monkey tail hanging out of her mouth. Megan gave a scream and hit Liz over the head with a wok, causing the slightly bruised monkey to roll out of her mouth. Liz gave a disgusted cough.  
  
"You really out to give those things a bath." she sniffed as she changed. Before Megan could respond, she was out the door and heading off to Hermes's place.  
  
As she walked, Liz kept coughing up balls of purple fuzz and monkey fur. "That's the last time I try to eat one of those things." she vowed as she entered Hermes's house. It was a really well-made castle, with silver turrets adorned with huge jester hats, and mounds of diamonds cascading like waterfalls. "HEEEEELLLLLLLOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Liz hollered as she entered. No one answered immediately. In fact, no one answered for ten minutes. Liz was sitting on the couch in the hall, turning dust bunnies into hula dancers when Hermes came in through the back door. He came in, stepping on the dancers along the way, and sank into a chair.  
  
"Zeus wanted me to help him." he said, before Liz could ask. "He was worried. Something about an untold evil residing in the Elysian fields. (_A/N: Becca, I love you_.) Hades was offended of course, so I had to run back and forth between the two, carrying insults. It ended in a draw, after Hades called Zeus a nancy pinhead, and Zeus called him an oversensitive peon. It was kind of amusing."  
  
Liz grinned, picturing the scene for a moment. Then, standing up, she announced that she was in the mood to pull some random pranks. Hermes grinned.  
  
"Let's go."  
  
Liz seated herself comfortably against the wall of the cloud as she gazed down at her prey. Such fun mortals were! Liz cracked her knuckles, pointed her staff at a patch of earth in the center of the town, and clicked her tongue. Suddenly the earth began to shake and churn. As citizens looked on curiously, dust clouds billowed into the air. As they settled, a troupe of armadillos with tambourines began to play a slow waltz. As the beat picked up, the statue in Zeus's temple near by sprang to life, donned a neon green wig, and began to dance the polka. Hermes paled slightly. "Zeus is going to kill me." he pleaded.  
  
Liz looked at him with a tranquil smile. "It is like Jesus." she stated.  
  
"Who's Jesus?"  
  
"Never mind."  
  
Suddenly the armadillos and the statue burst into song before exploding in an array of ribbon and yellow pinecones. As people of the town screamed and ran for cover, Liz turned to her staff. "Yes Mister Sqeaky." she purred, stroking the duck. "Soon they will ALL be under our control." Hermes inched away from her as she let loose an evil cackle.  
  
Liz spent the rest of afternoon wreaking havoc on Ancient Greece. She tortured Sparta, making all the warriors jump off cliffs like lemming in yoga positions. She tortured Troy, sending sparkly elephants raining down in middle of a battle. She even returned to Olympia, where she brought forth gigantic strawberries and carrots to plunder the town with eggs. Oh yes, everyone ran when they saw the omenous shadow of those two black panthers carrying the spiky-haired goddess. Everyone ran. And Liz loved it.  
  
There was still a bit of time left before meditation when Liz and her mentor rolled into Athens. The citizens had already heard of this crazed goddess, and so where in doors. Liz scoffed at their futile attempts to ward her away. Concentrating hard, she began changing everyone's roof into slices of focashia bread. She then proceeded to change the sky a dark purple as hundreds of bananas rained down. Unfortunately, something stopped her before she could unleash anymore chaos.  
  
"Hey! What are you doing?!" yelled a voice behind her. Liz whirled around, coming face to face with a pissed off, life-size teddy bear. Actually it was Sonomi. "What are you doing?" the goddess repeated. "This is MY city!"  
  
"Actually, it's Athena's city." Liz replied cooly. Sonomi glared at her and gave a whistle. Suddenly there was a stampede of small bears coming behind her. They stopped inches away from Liz, weapons in hand, eyes daring her to make a move towards Sonomi. The Asian smirked.  
  
"My city."  
  
Liz narrowed her eyes. "Fine, if that's how you want to play the game." She growled. Crouching, she patted the earth, beckoning it to do her bidding. Slowly, her army of chickens and undead gerbils rose from the ground. They held clubs and axes and chittered and squawked threateningly to the teddy bears, who just glowered in response.  
  
The two goddesses stood face to face, eyes locked, waiting for the other one to make a move. It was to be one of the most epic battles of the time, if Athena and Hermes hadn't rushed in a broken them up.  
  
Sonomi gave a sniff and walked back to the Parthenon. "You're not worth my time anyway." She sneered. Liz gave a snide smile and sent her army back to Tartarus, where it waited. Then with a sweep of her robes, she left Athens, and the city breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"Wow, that was close." Hermes said as he flew alongside Liz. "I don't know how that match would have ended. Uh, I mean, I'm glad you didn't slaughter Sonomi. Please, don't kill me!!"  
  
Liz smirked and let go of Hermes's hair. Directing her panthers, she guided them below the clouds to search for poor mortals completely oblivious to the world. She soon found one. Sitting by the side of the brook in the woods was a nymph. She laughed as she flipped her auburn hair over her shoulder and ran a small comb through it. "Daphne, you are one hot bitch." she murmured to herself, her emerald eyes dancing. Liz rolled her eyes.  
  
"This calls for something special." the goddess decided. Reaching deep into her mind, she called to her favorite character.  
  
_Dirty Clarence? You are needed._

_111111  
_  
Daphne was just about to braid her hair when a twig snapped behind her. Whirling around, the nymph came face to face with a-well, he looked like a bum. As Daphne backed up in disgust, the bum grinned lustfully.  
  
"Hey suga. Name's Dirty Clarence."  
  
(_A/N I don't know how he talks Liz, sorry._)

_11111_

Liz watched, content from her cloud as Daphne ran through the forest screaming, the bum hot on her tail howling lustfully. Suddenly a gray pigeon flew in front of her face. Liz knew what that meant. Bidding Hermes a farewell, she changed into her tiger form and raced of to Hestia's.  
  
On padded paws, the sneaky goddess entered Hestia's villa. Sonomi and Megan were there. Good. Time for a little payback. Liz silently crept up behind them, tail swishing dangerously. When she was about a foot away from them, she opened her jaws- and let loose an earth-shattering roar, drowned out only by Megan's and Sonomi's screams. Hestia came running into the room, torch in hand, ready to combat the foe who dared enter her house. When she saw that it was Liz, she breathed a sigh of relief and sat down. Sonomi and Megan didn't fare so well. Once their heartbeat returned to normal, they both sprang up and began chasing the Siberian tiger around the room. Hestia looked on in amusement.  
  
"Hi guys, wow, I just heard a really loud roar on my island. Does anyone- woo, hello." Lindsay said, ducking just in time as a streak of white went over her head, followed by a flash of crimson and orange. The red head turned to Hestia, who just shrugged. Everyone else pretty much had the same reaction as Lindsay did as they came in, and Hestia had the same answer.  
  
Just as Sonomi gathered her second wind and leaped at the tiger, a flash of light stunned all and brought tranquility. Hestia looked at her students, then cleared her throat to begin the session. Reaching behind her, the hearth goddess produced 10 identical red rugs. As she passed them out, she explained the lesson. "We are going to see how well you can meditate under pressure and time constraints. These rugs will be your meters. Oh, and Jason is going to accompany you."  
  
Everyone gaped, then spun as a "hello" was heard from the front door. In walked Jason, smiling apprehensively as nine pairs of eyes latched onto him. He grew even more nervous as Megan and Colleen started giggling. "What?" he asked tentatively.  
  
Megan burst out laughing while Colleen managed to gasp "How are your jewels Jason?"  
  
"My what?" Jason asked, confused. Then realization hit him like an anvil. 'IT WAS YOU!!! Oh, I'm going to KILL you!!" But before any killing could be done, the room started to spin. All the goddesses and Jason clutched their rugs and held on as the room spun faster and faster- and finally stopped.  
  
One by one, the immortals looked up and screamed. They were on a rock that jutted out over a lava flow from the volcano above them. Suddenly Hestia's voice could be heard Meditate, think light, make your carpet fly! Then she was gone, leaving them all alone. Lindsay shrugged, rolled out her rug, and fell asleep on it.  
  
_Wow _breathed Lauren,_Wish I could do that.  
  
Shut up _the hermit snapped, _I'm tired. Go away  
  
_The rest of the goddesses (and Jason) rolled out their mats and began trying to meditate. Suddenly a huge fiery rock rolled down in their direction, spewing molten stone down on their heads. Everyone screamed again and cowered beneath their rugs. Their yells of distress woke Lindsay up. "Jason you idiot." she yawned before losing conscience again. "Just use your god powers to hold the fire off."  
  
Jason grinned sheepishly. "Oh yea, I forgot." The goddesses glared at him. Liz brushed herself off and sat on her rug, breathing deeply, trying to calm herself and meditate. Everyone else followed suit while Jason drew a protective barrier around the rock, shielding it from flying rocks. Soon everyone was meditating.  
  
Unfortunately, while Jason's shield held back the fire, it acted like an oven, and soon everyone was soaked in sweat. They kept at it though, as slowly, one by one, their carpets began to rise. No one noticed this, as they were all in their worlds of power. They didn't notice that the carpets had started to slowly drift towards Mount Olympus either. It was only when they were a few feet away that Aubrey yawned and opened her eyes.  
  
"Hey! Look where we-AHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" she screamed as her mental bond with her carpet was lost. Down she plummeted to earth, screaming all the way. Everyone else was jarred awake by this, and followed suite, with the exception of Lindsay, who was still fast asleep and was muttering something about cheddar cheese in bathing suits.  
  
Hestia heard the thud and ran down the mountain to the heap of immortals. Slowly, with her help, they all untangled themselves. Lauren turned to Aubrey. "Next time, WARN us before you do something like that!" she yelled.  
  
Aubrey rolled her eyes. "Oh yea, next time I'll be like 'Don't open your eyes cause then you fall to earth and become goddess gumbo like me!' How's that?!" she yelled back.  
  
Suddenly a bolt of lightning struck between the two girls. As smoke cleared, Liz slowly pulled them apart. "Now now children. No more fighting until AFTER your nap." she said, tapping each of them on the head with her staff. The blondes glared at her and flounced off.  
  
"Well, you all did well today." Hestia said brightly. "Especially you Lind- did she leave ALREADY?!" Indeed, it seemed as she was sleeping, Demeter pulled her back. Hestia shook her head, exasperated. "I will see you again tomorrow." With a yawn, the hearth goddess headed back up the mountain.  
  
Liz changed into a tiger, raced up the mountain, then planted herself in front of the new goddess complex. "I'm going to wait here until the sun sets."she stated to the other goddesses who were struggling up the hill. Nicole, Katie and Jason sat down with her. They waited. They waited some more. Finally, Helios came struggling across the sky. "Helloooooooo!!!" Liz called. Helios spotted her, gave a cry of distress, and plummeted to the earth, setting the sun in the shortest sunset ever in history.  
  
Nicole blinked. "Darn! I missed it! I'm going to bed." With that, they all decided to retire for the night.  
  
In her room Liz was sitting comfortably in her bed, having a discussion with Dirty Clarence, who had decided to visit. He was telling her all about his adventure today.  
  
"-so then, the chick turns into a tree! A TREE! I couldn't believe it! Then this shiny guy comes down from the clouds and starts KISSING the tree! I left after that. It was just too weird-"  
  
Suddenly a scream, Lauren's, filled the air. Dirty Clarence was so surprised, he ran back into Liz's head to hide. The spiky-haired goddess just smiled sleepily. "Oops" she said as she turned over. "Guess I put the fuschia frogs in the wrong bed."  
  
_I hate, HATE not having effing spell check!!!! GRRRRRR! In other news:  
  
Woohoo! I'm gettin' this DONE! Sorry about the sucky endingish area. Oh well. Next is the goddess of... insane, dancing to invisible music and extreme happiness, Nicole. Try saying that three times fast. Anyway, should I write Jason a chapter? Hmm? Maybe just a mini one? Let me know. _


	12. Nicole

_Ok, character chapter number... Who cares. Chapter Nicole; Goddess of insane, dancing to invisible music and extreme happiness. Also winner of the longest title in the story. Anyway, very romantic chapter, though not in the way Lauren's was. Definitely not. Only need one friend like that. Re-editing has been done, though I'm sure there are still problems. Some things to know:   
__   
1) I have skewed the myth about Daphne and Apollo a bit.   
__   
2) Bellerophon: hero who killed the Chimera with the aid of Pegasus. I read a myth somewhere that says he got too cocky, tried to fly to Mount Olympus, and was thrown off of Pegasus' back, doomed to roam the earth a broken spirit. However, I now can find no evidence of this myth so if I'm totally off my rocker, I beg forgiveness.   
__   
3) Zeus' symbol is a lightning bolt. This may be useful information. Heh heh heh...   
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4) Aegean Sea: the sea that surrounds Greece. There's a myth behind it, but that's for another time.   
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5) Poseidon: God of the sea, earthquakes and horses. Not much else to say about him.   
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Ok! Enjoy!_

Nicole awoke just before the sun had risen. She had been having a nice dream about her crush, when the feel of feathers drawing across her lips softly had woken her up. Yawning lazily, she scanned her room for signs of an intruder. As she glanced at the window, she saw a small flock of white doves cooing and ruffling their feathers. A look of horror grew on the brunette's face as she frantically checked herself for signs of bird poop. Nothing. Nicole breathed a sigh of relief and bounced out of bed. Unfortunately, she didn't bounce far enough, and her foot caught on the edge of her Persian rug, sending the goddess to the floor with a resounding thud. This caused the glass chandelier in her room to break loose and fall to the floor, along with a portion of her ceiling. As the goddess was recovering from the shock, the entire room started to rumble. In fact, the entire goddess complex began to shake. Before anyone new what was happening, the entire building came crashing down, goddesses and all.

"What the hell just happened?!" screamed Aubrey as she pulled herself out of the rubble.

_Beats me_, Colleen called, _but could someone help me? I'm stuck under a gigantic pillow_. As Lauren went over to help her, the rest of the goddesses stood up and dusted themselves off. Nicole looked sheepishly at the mess she had just created. Deciding it wasn't the time to admit her mistake, the bubbly goddess announced;

"Let's get breakfast."

By some miraculous coincidence, the dining area remained intact, and still offered an array of food. Nicole grabbed a plate, some food, and sat down on one of the now dusty chairs to eat. The conversation around her drifted lazily from clothes to monkeys to power to smiting guys to crushes. Nicole's ears perked up at this last topic and she unwittingly and unconsciously said "Oh yea, I've got a crush."

Lauren, Colleen and Aubrey immediately gasped and stared. "Who is it?" they demanded.

Nicole gave them her best glare. "Like I would tell you." she scoffed, "Apollo."

This time there was another gasp, but it came from Liz. Actually, it came from Liz's head, where Dirty Clarence was sitting and listening to the conversation. "You got your work cut out for you sista'!" he hooted, "That man was kissin' a TREE yesterday. I'd hate to see what other competition you have!"

Nicole looked shocked. Suddenly she leapt up and grabbed Liz by the neck. "Tell me everything." she demanded to Liz's forehead.

The goddess of extreme happiness wasn't so happy at the moment. In fact, she was pissed off. In a whirlwind of anger, Nicole stormed over to Apollo's place. She didn't stop to admire the huge sunflowers like usual, or to wiggle her tush for a second at the musical waterfall that by the flowers. Stomping up the spiral gold stairs and through the gauzy curtains, Nicole found herself inside. She took a few steps forward, and shouted.

"APOLLO!!!!!!!!"

The god of light came running from the roof where he had been, a look of panic on his face. Seeing Nicole's attempt at a dark glare, he rolled his eyes slightly. "All right Nikki, what is it. Did you botch up another power lesson?" Nicole's glare only became deeper at this. She didn't want to be reminded of the time when she had accidentally made Pegasus dance randomly as he was carrying Bellerophon up to Mount Olympus yesterday. The hero had lost his grip and plummeted to Earth. It wasn't her fault that stirrups hadn't been invented yet!

Apollo, seeing that he had made Nicole's mood worse, took a step back, smoothing out invisible wrinkles in his pale yellow toga awkwardly. His student eyes him suspiciously. "What is the deal with this tree nymph I've heard about; Daphne. Did you or did you not kiss her, and what about me?!" she demanded finally.

The sun god look stunned for a moment. Then he looked a little repulsed. Finally he threw back his head and laughed, his golden hair shaking with mirth. Nicole growled inaudibly and waited impatiently for him to finish. Finally he wiped away his tears. Still chuckling slightly, he took a step forward and engulfed Nicole in a consoling hug. The goddess resisted temporarily, but then gave herself up to his embrace. Looking into his deep blue eyes, she made a failed attempt to frown.

"Explain."

Taking a deep breath, Apollo began. "Well, a few years ago, Artemis and I got into a fight. She got so mad at me that she drugged me and then dropped me off in the middle of the woods. I would have been so lost except for the fact that a nymph happened to find me and help me. I told her that I couldn't thank her enough. She smiled and replied 'Someday, come back and give me a kiss.' Well, I'll be honest with you. She didn't get the good looks that most nymphs were born with. I put off returning as long as I could. Finally, I decided to fulfill my promise and give her the kiss she wanted. When I got there, it turns out that some hobo had been chasing her and she had asked her father, the river god, to turn her into a tree to save her. Well, I have no problem with kissing a tree and I didn't want to break my promise. So there you go. Are you still mad FuzzlePuff?" he asked flirtatiously, tweaking Nicole's nose.

Nicole blushed. Wrapping her arms tightly around Apollo, she snuggled closer to his muscular chest. "That's a sweet story. I would have had to hurt you if you said anything else." she said, her voice muffled by the rich fabric of her mans' toga. Apollo laughed again and kissed Nicole's head. "What say we go out for a lesson today?" he said.

"Fuzzle! Slow down!" Apollo called as the goddess's shape diminished into the distance. Nicole let out a giddy laugh and urged her swans faster. They squawked with exuberance, the little bells tied to their necks tinkling merrily in the wind. Nicole attempted to smooth out her pink dress, but nearly fell off her porcelain saddle. Righting herself, she once again grabbed the ribbon reins to her birds and awaited Apollo's arrival elegantly. Then they rode together happily, chatting about this and that with an occasional flirt thrown in.

Soon, the sounds of battle and death drowned out the immortal's conversation. Peering down from her seat, Nicole saw that they were now above a battle at Troy. Yes, it was still going on. "Ew!" squealed the brunette as a bloody arrow came flying up at her. Driving her swans farther into the sky, she surveyed the damage and chaos. "So you want me to do what now?" she accused Apollo.

The sun god grinned and began to reply. His explanation was cut short however, by a "What are YOU doing here?!" and a happy gasp. Whipping around, Nicole and Apollo came face to face with a miffed Ares. The happy gasp had come from Colleen, who stood grinning in her chariot next to her mentor. Ares scowled at her and stuck out his hand to Eep her into submission. She dodged his hand and flew over to Nicole, hovering stubbornly next to her fellow goddess. Ares then turned his scowl to Apollo, who returned it with a smirk.

Before either of the goddesses knew what had happened, the two gods were yelling at each other about possession of human torture and training. Then Ares took a swing at Apollo and the two started into a fistfight. Colleen looked at Nicole as strings of curses came following.

_Guys are soooooo stupid_

Nicole nodded sadly. _Yea. It's a bleak and dismal existence for us goddesses._

The two goddesses turned away from their mentors and adjusted their gaze to the battle below. Colleen, having done this before, pointed to one helpless victim. He immediately started Eeping loudly, despite the five arrows that found their way into his stomach. Nicole grimaced slightly and blew a kiss at another warrior. He suddenly turned to the enemy behind him and gave him a huge hug. Another mortal began dancing insanely, all the while letting out shouts of "Eeklackawiki!", frightening away all that dared to harm him. Colleen and Nicole exchanged high-fives and began the routine all over again. This went on all morning, and so did the fight between Apollo and Ares.

"What are they fighting about anyway?" Nicole asked.

Colleen shrugged and grinned mischievously. "Lover's spat?"

Nicole glared at her. "Not MY man." she stated defiantly, and went back to making warriors dance insanely.

_12121212_

"Wow! That one was awesome!" Nicole cheered. The goddesses watched contently as their latest victim staggered across the battlefield, Eeping in tune to the invisible music he was dancing to, all while wearing an insane comical expression on his face. The two goddesses let out hoots of triumph. Suddenly their stomachs rumbled. "Lunch time!" Nicole yelled, releasing all of the mortals from her goddess hold. They sank to the ground, to tired and frightened to fight anymore.

"What are we going to do about THEM?" asked Colleen, jerking her head in the direction of the gods. Nicole wrinkled her nose in thought. "Let's just leave them." She said finally. And so the goddesses sped off to lunch, leaving their mentors in a catfight.

Since the new goddess complex hadn't been all the way rebuilt yet, the goddesses had been invited up to the grand hall on Mount Olympus to enjoy a feast. Nicole bade farewell to Colleen, dropped off her swans at the lake where they lived, and jogged lazily to the hall. As she entered through the rows of stars sewn into curtains, she saw that the ebony table had already been set with glistening white china dishes and goblets of garnet. Soft music played in the background as sunrays glistened above. Nicole sat down in one of the pale silk chairs. Megan, Sonomi, Katie and Lauren were already there, talking quietly so as to not disturb the atmosphere of the room. Colleen, Aubrey and Liz came bouncing in, but the hush fell on them as well, and they sat down, reserved, waiting for the food to arrive.

Soon impatience overrode the air of the hall, and the goddesses began to chat louder and more excitedly. Since no one had included her in a conversation yet, Nicole was content with inspecting her place setting. She was picking up her plate to examine to flowered rim, when her eyes fell on what was hiding underneath her dish. She gasped softly and made a guttural sound like a hamster in a meat grinder. Then, as a natural pause fell in the conversations around her, she spoke, very disturbed.

"Everyone look under their plates."

The goddesses turned to look at her, then shrugged and did as she obliged. Megan screamed. Liz and Katie dropped their plates on the floor. The rest of the immortals just stared in horror. Underneath each plate, put there inconspicuously, was a condom. Not just any condom, oh no. This one had a metallic lightning bolt on the front of it. Just as the goddesses were processing this terror, a knock was heard at the door. As all eyes swiveled in that direction, Zeus entered the room. His entrance could not have been more ill timed on his part. As eight faces darkened into glares, the thunder god took a step back in fear. "What?" he asked, feigning innocence.

Hera was walking past the grand hall when all of a sudden noises erupted from it. Screams of terror, pain and outrage were heard bouncing off the walls, along with quite a few Eeps and Mneihs of protest. Frozen to the spot in shock, Hera watched as the door swung open, spewing out chicken feathers, spiked bubbles, thunderclouds, miniature spears, steel-clad wombats, orange puff balls, and of course, Zeus himself. The god was dressed in a purple and orange leather mini-skirt, with a magenta tank top, a Kelly green feather boa, and black spike heels with pink fishnet tights. His hair was dyed blue, with the exception of large welts where Megan's branding iron had hit, and a purple teddy bear was still gnawing at his leg. "Don't ask." he said shakily to his annoyed wife. She didn't ask. She just slugged him across the jaw, leaving a large imprint from her five rings, and walked off in a huff, determined to tell every god and goddess she came across about this incident.

Megan took a deep breath and blew the smoke off her branding iron. The rest of the goddesses were in a similar state; slowly coming down from that fury high. Nicole sat back in her chair. "Ok, that was the strangest thing that has ever happened to me." she muttered. Everyone agreed. Suddenly Sonomi came to a realization.

"We still haven't had lunch."

As if on cue, new plates materialized, along with mountains of steaming food. The goddesses dug in hungrily. The rest of lunch was blissfully uneventful, save for extremely loud laughing coming from Mount Olympus. "I hope that Zeus getting laughed at." grumbled Megan to her peas. Everyone nodded hopefully and resumed eating.

As lunch ended, Nicole stood up. Bidding farewell to everyone, she casually strolled back over to her mentor's house. Apollo was already there this time, sporting a large black eye. Nevertheless, he grinned broadly as Nicole came in, showing off a few missing teeth. "I won." He announced gleefully, as his immortal blood slowly began to heal him. Nicole rolled her eyes, but gave him a kiss on his eye. Apollo twisted his head slightly, and met her lips. For a moment they just sat there, poised in the moment and the kiss. Finally Nicole drew back, eyelids fluttering.

"So what are we going to do this afternoon?" She breathed. Apollo stood up and clapped his hands. Instantly the two gods were transported into the large dance studio at the back of Apollo's castle. Nicole gasped like she always did when she entered here. It was so gorgeous! The wood floors had been polished and laminated with gold, the walls sparkled with millions of small crystals. From the invisible ceiling hung a huge chandelier of crystal flowers and butterflies. Both had been magicked so that the flower's pungent aroma filled the room, and the butterflies flitted about, the sun's ray hitting their wings like jewels. But the best part about this place was the view. Stretching as far as the eye could see was sapphire water dotted with small emerald islands. The Aegean Sea stretched on, like a cobalt ribbon, entrancing and beautiful. Nicole swayed and closed her eyes against the beauty of it all. "I take it we're going to have a lesson about dancing." she said.

Apollo nodded and took her hands. "Shall we waltz first?" He asked. Nicole blushed slightly and the duet whisked across the floor to the gay sounds of invisible music. So hard was she concentrating on the music, Nicole did not realize that Apollo was no longer at arms length, but pressed tightly against her own body, his blue eyes gazing down at her. Soon the tempo quickened and the pair intertwining to gavottes, tangos, even a spicy flamenco. Nicole tried her skills at Irish step-dancing as well, but that didn't involve being in Apollo's arms so she ended that quickly.

On and on the duo danced, matching perfectly in rhythm to the invisible music that captivated the room. The afternoon wore on without them noticing, and Nicole was very surprised to hear the cooing of a gray dove perched on the chandelier. She groaned slightly and pulled away from her dance partner. Apollo, nodded. Then he grinned. "I do believe you worked on extreme happiness this afternoon as well." He teased, " 'cause I'm certainly smiling." Nicole giggled and dusted his nose softly with her lips. Then she gathered up her skirts and skipped off to Hestia's.

As Nicole reached the door of the Hearth goddess's home, she tripped and fell flat on her face, tiara askew. Megan, who happened to just be entering as well, grabbed the doorframe and held on for dear life. "Phew!" she said, when no tremors were detected, "I was waiting for a repeat of this morning!" Nicole glared at her fellow goddess and pushed past her into the villa, ignoring the snickers Megan tried not to conceal.

Katie, Liz, Lauren and Sonomi were already in the villa when Nicole entered. She gave them a friendly wave and sat down. Suddenly the pillow she was on changed textures and became very damp. "Do you mind?!" came an offended voice behind her. Nicole squealed in surprise and jumped off of Lindsay's lap as she materialized.

"What happened to you?" Megan asked as she entered. Lindsay grimaced. "I fell into the ocean. Don't ask the details." she said curtly. Megan shrugged and asked no more as Colleen and Aubrey came in, completing the group. Hestia came into the room shortly after that, signaling the beginning of another meditation session. As everyone grew quiet and turned to her, the goddess began the instructions.

"Today is an interesting lesson." she began. Everyone let out a groan involuntarily, remembering her other "interesting" lessons. Hestia waited for the noise to subside, then continued. "You will each be given a colony of these," she said. Suddenly a small bubble filled with glowing fairies materialized before each goddess. The fairies didn't seem too happy about this situation, as they were glowing an angry orange and beating at the sides of their prison. Sonomi made cooing noises and stroked at the orange while the fairies put up little middle fingers. Hestia raised an eyebrow.

"These sprites are very temperamental." Hestia went on.

_Big word _complained Lauren, but no one heard her.

Hestia went over and took Nicole's bubble for demonstration. "If you can succeed in making these sprites green, then they are happy. Blue is even better. And to make this challenge even more fun, you are going to work in partners. No, not each other." Hestia said as random picking was going on. "-THESE are your choices."

On cue, the door to Hestia's villa opened. In walked Aphrodite, Hera, Hermes, Athena, Ares, Dionysus, Demeter, Artemis, and a man who looked like the older version of Zeus with deep blue hair and beard. He held a Trident in his hand and scowled fiercely. As Hestia introduced him as Poseidon, god of the sea, everyone backed away.

"Now," Hestia announced, "Pick a partner. It CANNOT be your mentor." Nicole made a beeline straight for Aphrodite. As she glanced about, she was extremely grateful that Apollo wasn't here as certain goddesses were looking for a cute immortal to pair with. The god swap settled down quickly. Liz was paired with Artemis, Lindsay with Hera, Lauren looking unhappy with Demeter, Colleen with Athena, Sonomi with Ares, Megan with Hermes, Aubrey with Poseidon, and Katie with Dionysus. Hestia overlooked this last pair as they were breaking the rule, and clapped her hands. Slowly a bubble formed around each group. "Anything you do to your sprites that displeases them," she explained, "Will happen to you. Good luck!"

Aphrodite turned to Nicole immediately. "I think we should dress them up in pink frills!" she said, squealing slightly. Nicole gave the goddess a high-five. "Oh yea!" she exclaimed, delighted to be working with someone who shared her views. Snapping her fingers, the goddess created little pink dresses that the sprites immediately pounced upon. Some of the fairies enjoyed their new clothes immensely, turning shades of pale green and teal, but a few stayed orange and screamed. Nicole and Aphrodite were suddenly clothed in the same pink frill as their charges. After squealing excitedly for a minute, the two goddesses stopped prancing around their bubble and went back to serious work.

Around them, most other pairs were fairing just as well or worse as the pink duet. Artemis and Liz were chatting happily as they jogged in their bubble, a result of the idea that exercise would help the sprites. Lindsay and Hera were completely ignoring the assignment; talking about life and what-not, while Megan and Hermes were having fun giving the pixies little swords and letting them duel it out themselves. Lauren was having a hard time because Demeter wouldn't say anything, so the blonde goddess had to do everything herself. She currently was being pelted with rice because she had decided that the little creatures were hungry. Demeter looked on in amusement, then turned to the sound of someone being smacked. It was Ares, being attacked by Sonomi over and over again. The sprites seemed to love this, as they were glowing a bright blue and cheering the duel on. Colleen and Athena looked up from their own attempts to feed the pixies (slightly more successful than Lauren's) and laughed. Katie and Dionysus were busy getting the little creatures drunk, which seemed to work very well, and Aubrey was just staring at them. Finally her partner twitched his staff and a small swimming pool appeared in the globe. The pixie squealed in glee and turned green to show their delight.

Nicole and Aphrodite had just managed to get all of their sprites happy (some preferred purple to pink) when Hestia announced that the lesson was over. Of all the goddess pairs, only four managed to make the pixies happy; Sonomi, Nicole, Katie and Megan, though many of Megan's pixies were a bit wounded. Hestia smiled and congratulated each immortal for their efforts. As the sun began to set, everyone filtered out of the villa and headed towards sleep.

The new goddess complex was finally done when the goddesses got there. Nicole gave a wistful sigh as the ebony cloak of night was cast upon the earth, twinkling mystically with millions of stars. A gentle breeze flowed in the east, caressing locks of hair and blowing kisses to bare arms and feet. Far off in the distance, an owl cried a soft mournful tone, completing the setting. The immortals stood there for a few minutes, letting the serenity soak through every pore. Then, silently, they went in to the tower.

Under her covers in her bed, Nicole was almost asleep. She would have been the next second if her lamp hadn't fallen off the ceiling again, causing a loud crash. The goddess held her breath fearfully, but no sounds of crumbling could be heard. As she breathed a sigh of relief and breathed a "good night" to her new pixie pets on her nightstand, Nicole's eyelids slowly closed and carried away to slumber.

_Mhm! 'Noth chapter completed. Next will be Katie! Don't expect it anytime soon though, as that chapter will be almost as hard as Aubrey's._


	13. Katie

_Wow, it's been like 3 months since I've written a chapter for this story. And APPARENTLY I had a deadline for this chapter. Anyway, I give you Katie, goddess of dancing in the rain and corny jokes. This chapter could have turned out really bad, but thanks to the goddess herself, I think it's OK. Some of it is rather awkward, cause Katie has some odd ideas, but what ever. Not such a funny chapter, more of a story. Oh and the corny jokes are just plain bad_

_Narcissus: a very vain man. He was cursed to fall in love with himself because he was rude to Echo._

_Charon: ferrier of the dead across the river styx._

_Hippocrates: the legendary doctor of Ancient Greece._

_The Minotaur: bastard son of Poseidon. He lived in the Labyrinth on the island of Crete._

_Cassandra: prophesier who was cursed by Apollo. She knew the future but no one believed her. I've twisted her myth a bit._

_All of the names in Tartarus are souls that are condemned for different reasons. I'll tell more later._

_Ok, that's it for now. I'll go into detail later, but I'm rushed._

On any other morning, the sun would be rising at this moment. But, considering there was absolutely nothing special about today, Helios decided to sleep in a little bit. This gave Selene a little more time to leisurely fly across the night sky. So she decided to stop for a moment and oil her new bow and arrow set that Artemis had given her. Once the pale birch was gleaming like a pearl, Selene figured that it wouldn't hurt to test it out. Aiming for the brightest star she could see, the young moon goddess let a silvery arrow fly. A few seconds passed, and a loud scream was heard. "Oops" Selene thought to herself. Spurring her horses on, she quickly began her descent to earth and to allow Helios to begin his journey.

The star that had been shot at was none other than the new goddess complex. Katie's room had been exceptionally bright that morning, because her sprites were flashing alarming colors of pure white and blazing yellow, which meant they were dying. The arrow had flown in through the window, shattering the pixie's jar, and awakening Katie. She looked up sleepily and saw all of her new pets lying on the cedar nightstand, pale and cold. "MY PIXIES!" she screamed, rushing forward. But it was too late for the little imps.

"My poor pets." Sobbed the goddess. "You went the way of my goldfish. Stuck in a jar." Lifting her chin in a martyr-like fashion, Katie gathered up their bodies and flung them out the window, blowing them a kiss as they went. Of course, since Katie was a goddess, her kisses held special power. Suddenly the sprites all sprang up, their vitality restored. Screeching at the blonde goddess in front of them they returned her hospitality with many rude gestures before taking wing and disappearing into the slowly rising sun. Katie stood, stunned at this odd occurrence, but the sounds of sleepy immortals rising from their beds snapped her out of the trance. Actually it really was Megan yodeling at the top of her lungs and Aubrey screaming at her to shut up that brought her back to reality. Rolling her eyes slightly, Katie switched into her day clothes and glided down to breakfast.

Something was happening the dining area. Katie could feel it even before she entered. Maybe it was the increased room temperature that cued her in, or perhaps the heavy silence of the room, but Katie strolled in, smacked a five on the table and announced her bet.

"I'm pulling for Jason."

Indeed, it seemed that Jason and Liz were locked in a duel to the death on the table. Liz's earlier problem with hitting Jason seemed to evaporate as she shot pink stuffed cabbages and yellow paperclips at the god. Jason snapped his fingers, melting Liz's weaponry and sent thin ribbons of gold and iron to entangle the spiky-haired goddess. She managed to evade them well enough, but then Jason got nasty. As Liz was conjuring up her army of undead rodents, the earth suddenly began to rumble. A gigantic volcano emerged from the ground, enveloping Liz. The room then became quiet, save for a rather hot and lavaish belch from the volcano. Then Liz's voice could be heard; muffled and ticked. "OK Jason, you win."

Katie smiled with content and snatched her five off the table. Then she proceeded to get breakfast. Everyone who had been watching the fight followed suit, along with Jason and Liz who had managed to break her way out of the volcano. Brushing herself off, the goddess smiled slightly and fell in line to eat.

"Jason, are you going to move your volcano?" Katie asked accusingly. Indeed, the large landmass just seemed to sit on the table, belching out magma every once in a while. Jason shrugged and sat down on a cushion far away from his creation. "Ugh, you are impossible." Katie sighed. With a roll of her eyes she sat down right next the volcano, warming her butt. The goddesses filed in, placing themselves here and there sporadically. Soon everyone was settled, eating and talking. "So I still say that the Athenians need a life." Katie argued with Sonomi. "I mean, they just spend all of their time worshipping one goddess. Variety please!"

The rest of breakfast passed by peacefully like this, and the goddesses were almost in jeopardy of being late for morning lessons. Fortunately the peace and quiet was cut short by a massive rumbling noise. Everyone dropped their plates, which disappeared when they hit the floor, and clung to the side of their seats fearfully. Jason fell to the ground yelling "She's gonna blow!!!!!" Soon enough, the volcano that Katie was sitting by gave a massive shudder and erupted. Large amounts of lava spewed from the top as goddesses cowered under chairs and screamed. Katie felt herself being lifted upward as the eruption grew more and more violent. Suddenly, she was thrown through the roof of the complex and sent sailing through the air with a shriek. Luckily the ground came up to greet her in a soft cloudy embrace, which was unfortunately not so soft.

"Ugghhh" groaned the humorous goddess, rubbing her backside. Standing up and dusting herself free of any cloud residue, Katie picked up her skirts and began walking to her first lesson. About five second later she remembered that she didn't need to be bothered by this petty thing known as foot transportation. The goddess snapped her fingers and reached out in front of her. As the air gave a small shimmer, Katie pulled out an umbrella. It was made of the sheerest green silk, covered by a layer of soft glittering fishnet that gave the apparatus the appearance of dew-covered leaves. As she opened it, the umbrella gave a soft jangle, the sapphire raindrops on each prong tinkling softly. Giving a shrill whistle, Katie stood ready to receive the next wind that came her way. Soon a warm eastern breeze flew in and caught up Katie's umbrella, slowly escorting the goddess to her lesson.

Within no time the blonde goddess reached her destination: Dionysus' home. Well, it was more like a garden; The Hanging Garden's of Babylon to be exact. Katie landing softly and proceeded over to the wall of hanging jasmine marked "Enter". Looking around to make sure no one was watching her, she tapped the flowers in the order she had been instructed. The plant curtain gave a little shake and then parted. Katie stepped inside, trying to stifle her small involuntary sigh of bliss. It was always so peaceful here. The sun coated everything in a warm bath of rays, while the wind blew by softly, mixing the sweet scents of the various flowers that grew everywhere. Katie walked along the marble path carefully, avoiding the delicate petals of the plants and the luscious greenery that surrounded her. Every so often she would stop to run her fingers against the velvety green leaves and sniff the heady fragrances of the jeweled flowers that hung along the stone walls. Exotic birds dripping with color glided about gracefully, filling the air with sweet melodies. Katie let herself a smile, feeling all of her stress melt away, like warm chocolate in a mug.

Presently the path widened and met with a large courtyard. A large fountain stood in the center; cascades of deep blue water splashed about it like large sapphires. Sitting under the leafy canopy of a large tree was Katie's mentor, fast asleep. The goddess tiptoed quietly over to the slumbering god, unsure of how to wake him. She didn't have to wonder long however, because suddenly her foot became caught on a loose tile. Stumbling, Katie grabbed at the rim of the fountain, only to have it come loose and topple off the pedestal, spraying water and taking Katie with it. The blonde let out a yelp as she landed on the ground for the second time today. This awoke Dionysus from his slumber, and he jumped up, looking frightened. All was quiet in the garden for a second, with the wine god blinking sleepily and Katie turning a magnificent scarlet red. Fortunately her mentor, knowing Katie gave a soft laugh, strode over and offered her a hand.

"Nice trip, see you next fall."

Katie couldn't help cracking a grin at this: that had been one of her better jokes. Grabbing Dionysus's hand, the goddess hauled herself off the ground. "So what are we doing today?" she asked. Hopefully they would do something fun like yesterday, when Katie caused Epimetheus to dance the tango with his wife, Pandora. She felt that they needed to be more intimate, though her friendly interference caused a catastrophic flood that wiped out almost all of Greece. But all had been restored in an hour, and Katie had fun sculpting little clay animals and watching Dionysus bring them to life. Now because of her, squirrels had been discovered in Greece and resided in treetops. Just the thought of it all made Katie smile wistfully.

Dionysus caught the goddess's grin and shook his head. "Gaea was ticked at you yesterday. I had to sacrifice two herds of cattle and one of Hera's peacocks to appease her. We're doing something less dangerous and more educational today." He said. Katie stifled a moan. Another educational lesson with her mentor: what fun. Sure enough, as tiles began shifting on the courtyard, the goddess could tell that Dionysus had something in mind. She watched as a small platform rose from the ground, surrounded by a small ditch. Confused, Katie turned to her teacher for more details. "Climb up." The god said pleasantly as a set of stairs grew from the side of the platform. Katie obeyed, and then watched the stairs melt away, trapping her up on the rock. Slightly panicked, she listened as her teacher gave instructions.

"Today we'll practice your concentration and accuracy. When I say go, start using your powers. You must stay on the platform and keep your rain cloud within its boundaries as well. The platform will continue to rise and shrink, but you must not fall or let your cloud get out of control. Water that falls into the moat will only cause your platform to shrink and rise faster. Keep dancing until I say stop. OK?"

Katie just stared at him, wondering if he'd lost his mind. "I can't do that." She whispered nervously. Dionysus gave her a small encouraging grin and clapped his hands. Katie opened her mouth to protest again, but it was no use.

"Go!"

Katie bit her lip and nervously struck a pose. As the sky darkened above her, she started dancing_. I can do this. _She thought stubbornly. Flinging her arms wide, the goddess started dancing as huge raindrops fell from the sky. So far so good, she hadn't spilled any water. Katie allowed herself a small giggle of relief and flung her arms wide as she danced. Suddenly the goddess tripped over her own foot. She managed to stay upright, but rainwater sloshed over the side of the platform and into the moat below. On cue the rock she was standing on shot up and shrank. Katie gave a wail of despair but continued to move her feet in a rhythmic fashion. Her toes were beginning to hurt and her breathing was becoming labored.

_Shit, I can't do this_

Taking a shaky breath, the goddess closed her eyes, trying to calm herself. Ignoring the growing pains in her body, she tried to visualize strings attaching her arms to the cloud above her. Her feet were tied loosely to the platform as well. Willing her racing heart to slow down, Katie slowly opened her eyes again, determined to make this work. As she moved her body faster, the goddess could feel her power growing, but being contained, controlled. She laughed: She could do this! As the platform rose slowly, she quickened her steps, feeling the rhythm of her power pulsating through her blood.

By the time Dionysus told Katie that she could stop dancing, not a single drop more of water had fallen into the moat, Katie was covered in sweat, and the platform was the size of a dime. As the tired goddess melted off the platform in exhaustion, her mentor smiled. "Good job!" he remarked with pride. Katie glowed as she stripped off her dress and wrung it out, watering two small bushes and a flower patch. Praise from Dionysus was pretty easy to come by, but rarely was he so sincere about it. Pulling her dress back on over her head, the goddess straightened her hair and turned to her mentor.

"Can we do something FUN now?"

Dionysus smiled at this and nodded. Katie gave a squeal and clapped her hands. As her umbrella materialized in the air, she waited impatiently for Dionysus to tell her what to do. The god thought for a moment and shrugged. "Whatever." He said. Katie grinned and shot off into the air, looking for some fun. Dionysus followed.

The sun climbed high in the cloudless sky, warming Katie nicely as she drifted along. Below her, small dots moved back and forth frantically. Deciding to test her newly enhanced powers; Katie focused on one small dot. Suddenly a small storm cloud came out of nowhere and planted itself above the helpless individual. The mortal gave a small yelp of surprise as he started dancing around frantically. Soon all of the other little dots had run away from their friend, scared because of his seemingly possessed state. Katie laughed, amazed at her new abilities. Never had she been able to affect someone that far away. Suddenly an idea struck her. Turning to face Mt. Olympus, she pointed a finger and muttered her curse.

"Zeus"

Nothing happened. She was probably out of range. Katie shrugged and hovered for a moment to wait for her mentor. As he came gliding along in his carriage pulled by flying dolphins, the goddess motioned to land. Soon the two immortals were in the middle of a field, surrounded by forest on all sides. Katie looked around content and headed to the woods. "There's bound to be some interesting creatures in here." She said decidedly. Brandishing her umbrella like a machete she ploughed through.

As it turned out, Katie was very right. While some of the more human-like creatures were fleeing the woods as news of an evil immortal arriving hit their ears, most of the other creatures were just going about their daily lives. This provided Katie a perfect opportunity to flex her goddess muscle and have some fun.

Katie's first victims were a troupe of loud drunken centaurs. The creatures were singing merrily when suddenly a hot immortal stepped into their midst, smiling smugly. Of course being centaurs, and drunk, the creatures started making rude gestures and comments; one even made a bold pass at snatching her ass. Katie glared slightly. "I've heard a cold shower helps with soberness." She said dangerously. The centaurs didn't quite pick up on the hint until it was too late. Suddenly, a gushing downpour of icy cold water began falling on the drunken creatures. They gave a yell and tried to run away, only to find that their hooves would not obey them. Katie watched in satisfaction as the frightened centaurs began to dance, all the while shivering and cursing. "Guess it works." She said walking away.

After the centaur incident, which Dionysus approved of whole-heartedly, Katie continued to wreak havoc until lunchtime. Of course, not all of her victims were ungrateful. The goddess managed to help a group of nyads restore their lake and make it bigger too. The water nymphs were so grateful that they gave Katie a fish for a pet, guaranteed not to "drown, suffocate, or jump out of his tank in an act of desperation." The blonde goddess liked this a lot, and promised to visit the nyads whenever she had a chance. But for now, there was more destruction to cause.

By the time Helios arrived at his noonday palace in the sky, Katie had practically flooded the entire forest and caused every creature within it to hate the idea of polka, meringue, and all other dance moves. Katie waved goodbye to all the angry creatures in the forest, especially the little colony of ants she had doing the conga line up and down the trees. Opening her umbrella up, the goddess flew off to get lunch, saying good bye to Dionysus as he grew smaller and smaller. Soon all that Katie could see was blue sky all around. The goddess took a deep whiff of the fresh clear air, but another scent wafted to her nose, causing her to gag. Having damp galoshes on all morning was beginning to seem like a bad idea.

"I need to see someone about these feet." She coughed.

Katie landed in front of Apollo's castle right as Nicole was getting out of her lesson. "Hey Katie!" the brunette said cheerfully, "Whatcha doing here?" Katie grimaced and pointed at her feet, which were beginning to turn her shoes an ugly green. Nicole looked slightly ill and motioned to Apollo's door. "I'll wait for you out here." She said faintly. Katie nodded, understanding, and went to go look for the god of medicine.

A few minutes later, Katie was sitting on a golden stool as Apollo rummaged through some shelves, looking for foot ointment. Finally, after a box and a jar fell on his head, he managed to find something. "Got it!" the god exclaimed triumphantly, seating himself next to Katie. "Now let's see what's going on here." He said, starting to pull of his patient's galoshes. Katie squirmed slightly as the smell got worse.

"You might not want to do that."

But it was too late. The shoe came off, the smell erupted into the air, and Apollo fell over backwards, clutching his throat and his eyeballs. Katie glanced down at her foot and felt her eyes smart slightly as well. "Gross." She commented dully. Indeed, it seemed that her foot had turned an odd yellow color, and was growing little white mushrooms all over it. The purple curly hairs and the extra toe did not add to the sight, but the smell was coming from what looked like a small colony of fleas having a bonfire and smoking the shrooms. Katie gave a disgusted sigh and washed the fleas off of her foot using her powers. Then she grabbed the foot ointment from Apollo's stiff hand and ran out of the room yelling "Thank you!" behind her shoulder.

Once outside, Katie gave an apologetic smile to Nicole as she opened her umbrella. "I think I killed your mentor." She said sadly. Then she took off before Nicole could scream in fury.

It was still quite early in the lunchtime when Katie arrived at the new goddess complex. A few people were there already; Megan was complaining to Jason and Colleen about getting probation for her cloud because she had been chasing cherubs with it, Liz was talking to Lindsay via her rubber ducky staff, and Lauren was shoveling food down her throat. Katie decided to go talk to her fellow blonde goddess, and strike up a deal. Or a threat. The goddess of corny jokes laid out an evil plan in her brain, and strode over to Lauren, replaying it over and over in her mind, waiting for Lauren to read her thoughts. The goddess stopped chewing, spat out her food, and with a fearful glance at Katie, started scribbling frantically on a napkin.

"Ok, so here's the list of your blind dates." Lauren said nervously. "Now you'll promise not to kill Ares with your feet right?" Katie stuffed the list into her pocket with a smirk. Thanking Lauren politely, the goddess strode out of the room and headed for the local pub where she would meet some new guys today. Life was so boring when was an immortal and had no one to talk to.

_13131313_

"…So then I turn around, and this chick is STILL following me! I mean I know I'm gorgeous, but I'm not for sale!"

Katie forced a smile and mentally smacked her head against the table. How long would Narcissus keep talking about himself?! The goddess took out her list and crossed out another name as she clapped her hands to call for the guards. They escorted Narcissus out of the pub, leaving Katie a few moments to rub her temples in frustration. So far her dates with Hippocrates, Charon and Narcissus had not gone well. At least Hippocrates had been able to heal her feet, but the lunch was proving unsuccessful. Only one more blind date left. Katie fished into her pocket once more to check the name, but didn't need to. Suddenly a large shadow descended upon the goddess's table. Turning around, the blond goddess paled at what she saw.

"Is this seat taken?"

_131313_

Katie stormed into the new goddess complex, ready to use her umbrella like an axe. The building was deserted, as all the goddesses had decided to go outside and enjoy the warm sunshine in the garden (A/N: It's cold than frick here in Michigan). So Katie stormed out over to the garden. As the immortals were just ending a game of horseshoes that involved real horseshoe crabs, she appeared, still holding her umbrella threateningly.

"LAUREN!!!"

The blonde goddess, sensing that trouble was in the air, quickly made a dash for the nearest tree and scaled up it. Katie let out an exasperated sigh and walked over to her. "Lauren, why?" she asked. There was no answer. "Honestly," the goddess continued, "You set me up with the Minotaur? I know I'm not the goddess of the year or anything, but don't you think I deserve a little class? DON'T YOU?!" she yelled, giving the tree a good shake. A small squeal was heard, but Lauren wasn't coming down. Disgusted, Katie left to go to her lesson.

Katie landed softly next to Hermes's castle, ready for something interesting. Shading her eyes from the blinding glare of all those diamonds, the blonde goddess strode over and let herself in. Hermes was already there, and Katie had to mentally tell herself to stop blushing. He was just so damn cute!

"I heard you caused quite a problem today. Apollo's not out of his coma yet." Hermes said coyly. Katie hung her head slightly, but shrugged with an air of "whatever". Hermes grinned. "I've sent Liz to go work with his mentor for the afternoon, so we have an entire lesson all to ourselves. Ready to go?" Katie smiled and grabbed her umbrella out of the air. Field trip lessons with Hermes were always fun.

Soon the two immortals were speeding along in the warm air, Katie holding her umbrella, and Hermes zipping by in his silver shoes. Presently they came upon the city of Troy itself. Surprisingly enough, there was no battle going on today, or it wasn't happening on Trojan soil. Katie and Hermes landed softly on the roof of Troy's fortress and quickly scaled down to an open window. Someone was singing inside. "That's Cassandra." Whispered Hermes. "She was given a gift of prophecy by Apollo when she was born. The Trojans have been using her to get information about the Greeks. I think it's time we payed her a little visit." Katie nodded and slipped quietly into the room below her.

Sitting in front of a large vanity was a thin, raven-haired girl of about 17 years. She wore a silvery dress embedded intricately with pearls, and upon her head sat a small thin crown of the thinnest silver. Katie gave a small cough and the girl turned. Her icy blue eyes held not a single bit of alarm or surprise. Instead she regarded the goddess with boredom.

"I knew you were coming."

Katie smiled. This Cassandra was good. Dropping down into a curtsy, Katie introduced herself. "I am Katie, goddess of dancing in the rain and corny jokes-" Before she could get any farther however, Cassandra interrupted her in a hollow voice.

"Look out for the rug."

Katie straightened, confused, and immediately snagged her shoe on the edge of the rug beneath her. Letting out a small yell, the goddess fell to the floor in a jumbled heap for the third time today. Cassandra watched on, amused. "Looks like Mt. Olympus is just accepting anyone now." She said rudely. Katie narrowed her eyes and stood up, throwing back her shoulders regally.

"I've come to find out why you are helping the Trojans in this war."

Cassandra's eyes narrowed and she clenched her fists. "Why shouldn't I?" she hissed, her monotone voice striking up with anger. "It wasn't the Trojan's fault that Aphrodite gave Helen to Paris. It wasn't the Trojan's fault that Greece launched a thousand ships to get her back. And what's a puny little wanna-be Olympian like you gonna do about anyway?"

Katie stiffened at these accusations. "First," she said through clenched teeth, "Paris stole Helen from Sparta. I've talked to Aphrodite, and she was thinking of someone else for Paris, because in her opinion, Helen isn't all that." Cassandra gasped at this blasphemy but Katie wasn't through. "Second, we all know that the Greeks brought a thousand ships, merely because the Trojans bet them that they didn't even have that many. And third-" the goddess said angrily, "I don't like your attitude."

Cassandra smirked and started to reply. Unfortunately she had angered Katie too much and had paid the price. Suddenly out of now where, Cassandra started spewing out jokes: horrid, corny and just plain bad jokes.

"How did the girl find her lost rabbit? She made sounds like a carrot."

"Where does the colonel keep his armies? Up his sleevies."

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk."

What do you call 4 bullfighters in quicksand? Cuatro sinko."

The young prophet looked at Katie in horror as Hermes, who had just entered the scene, fell to floor in fits of laughter. Katie just looked on smugly. "I guess I'm not such a wanna-be." She retorted. Cassandra gave her a look of pure horror and ran out of the room. She didn't stop running until she got to the balcony of the Trojan fortress. As she flung her body dangerously close to the side, Cassandra had meant to warn the Trojan soldier about a Greek spy in the castle. Instead, all that came out was screaming gibberish.

"WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A TROJAN WEDDING AND A TROJAN FUNERAL? ONE LESS DRUNK!!!!"

As more odd riddles came streaming out of her mouth, the people of Troy just stared at their princess in confusion and amusement. Cassandra gave a small wail of frustration and ran back into the castle where she fell onto her bed. Katie watched her tear apart small pillows with her teeth for a minute. "You're impossible." She said disdainfully. Gathering up her skirts, the blonde goddess took hold of her umbrella and jumped out the window, followed by Hermes

"Man, that was awesome!" Hermes said as they flew along. "She had no right to insult us like that, and you sure put her in her place." He said chuckling. Katie giggled slightly at his praise and looked down at the sparkling blue water that they were passing over. She waved at a few friendly dolphins that were swimming beneath her. They responded with a few marine quips of their own

"What did the fish say when he hit a wall? Dam"

"Why did the crab get arrested? He was always pinching things."

"What do whales eat for lunch? Peanut butter and jellyfish."

Katie laughed and mentally added these new weapons to her arsenal of bad jokes. Then she turned to Hermes. "What are we doing for the rest of today?" she asked. Hermes furrowed his brow in thought. Then he gave a small smile.

"What say we go down and try to cheer up some souls in Tartarus?"

And so, after a few minutes of wheedling Hades, Katie spent the rest of the afternoon cheering up people like Tantalus, Ixion and Sisyphus with her really bad jokes and dancing in the rain. Of course, poor Tantalus enjoyed the rain most of all, as it gave him a chance to drink. Katie, being the kind soul she was, let him satisfy his thirst, and then went on to the next condemned soul.

Katie had just done a lively comedy routine for the fifty daughters of Danaus, causing them once again to spill their water from laughing so hard, when a gray pigeon came into Tartarus to signal meditation. Actually the bird sort of fell from the sky, coughed twice and lay still, save for the random twitching every-so-often. Katie then said good bye to Hermes and a scowling Hades and started off to meditation. Something caught her eye however as she was leaving. It was a door marked "Authorized Personnel Only" and a sweet scent seemed to float out from under it. Shrugging, Katie went over and pushed the door ajar slightly, hoping the sweet fragrance would help this dreary place. (Becca…)

Katie had just arrived at Hestia's villa when she heard a rustling in the bushes next to it and some soft giggling. Holding her breath, she tiptoed over and parted the shrub with her umbrella. Then she jumped back with a wail of disgust. Sitting there on the ground was Lauren and Ares. Actually, Lauren was sitting on Ares and the war god had his hand up her dress. Katie rolled her eyes. "Honestly Lauren," she sneered. "Wait until after lessons." Lauren shrugged and after giving her man one last kiss stood up and headed to meditation. Katie's watched her go and then turned to Ares, who was struggling to stand. "Where do you think you're going?" she asked dangerously.

A few second later Katie walked into the villa. Megan, Colleen and Aubrey were already there as well, with Colleen complaining about how her mentor just disappeared as she was learning how to create little "Eep" creatures. Katie smirked. "Ares is outside, dancing in snow." She said. Lauren gave a loud "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!' but at that moment Nicole, Sonomi, Liz, Katie and Jason walked in, so she couldn't go out and save her love.

Soon all the immortals and Hestia were seated in a circle. All that is except one. _Lindsay!!!!_ Everyone screamed. There was a slight mental jolt, as if she had just woken up, and slowly the redhead materialized; looking rather peeved.

"What do you want." She growled. Then "Oh." as realization dawned on her. Lindsay then sat quietly as Hestia began instructions.

"You all have been working as a team for the last few days, and excelling at it. Today you will test your own strength and resilience." The hearth goddess said, clapping her hands. Suddenly darkness enveloped all of the immortals. They each found themselves in a dark room, with only a small candle in front of them for light. Katie studied her candle for a moment; it was blue, covered in small raindrops and little comedy faces. Confused, the blonde goddess sat back and let Hestia explain.

You will each be confronted with your darkest fears based on your powers. You must keep a level head and overcome these fears. If you give into them, your candle goes out. The longer you resist, the stronger the flame will be. Good luck!

As soon as Hestia's voice disappeared, cries of anguish were heard among the goddesses and god. _OH MY GOD!!! THE GUYS AREN'T BRANDABLE!!!!! _Screamed Megan. Colleen started laughing at her, then started eeping. Wailing, she desperately tried to fend off the hundreds of invisible hands that were attacking her. None of the other goddesses were faring any better.

_No…cute…guys… _sputtered Lauren.

Katie soon found herself stuck in the middle of a desert, surrounded by a crowd of people. "Hello," she said nervously. Then she cleared her throat.

"A man was draining the old gasoline from his lawn mower. A dog came along and started

lapping it up. The dog ran down the street and fell over............ The dog ran out of gas!!!!"

Silence followed her joke. Then slowly, the crowd started booing. "You suck!!!!!" they screamed. Katie cringed and cowered under their wrath. Out of the corner of her eye, she could make out her candle, growing dimmer and dimmer. As she struggled to stand, the sun seemed to grow hotter and hotter. "If only there was a cloud or something" she croaked to herself. But the air was bone-dry and dusty; no moisture could be found anywhere.

A few more minutes passed, and Katie somehow managed to hold back the crowd of nasty people. But she was getting weary, and she could feel herself getting dehydrated. Suddenly an idea struck the suffering goddess. Scanning her bleak horizon, Katie's gaze fell on a lone cactus a few feet away from her. The goddess hobbled over to it and using her umbrella, cut a gash in it. Instantly water came flowing out of the side. Katie laughed and began forming rain clouds galore. Soon all of the people in the crowd were dancing as water began to fall, turning the desert into a field of grass and flowers. The crowd's defenses were down as well, so Katie was able to subdue them into a giggling stupor as she charmed them with her corny jokes.

"How do you get Holy water? You boil the Hell out of it."

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick."

"What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck."

As the crowd of booers collapsed into fits of laughter, Hestia's voice could be heard. Good work! she called encouragingly. Katie smiled and continued on her verbal conquest. Next to her the candle burned brightly.

All too soon meditation was over. Everyone had managed to keep their candles lit. "I had to resort to the old-fashioned method." Said Megan chuckling, "but it was twice as fun." Everyone began discussing their dark fears, with the exception of Lindsay, who had disappeared. But they all suspected it would have something to do with people or Demeter.

Soon Helios came gliding across the sky in a brilliant purple and orange tunic that lit up the sky in a glorious sunset. Jason said good-bye to them all and went off to his volcano. Katie smiled sadly as she watched Nicole, Colleen, and Lauren take a walk blissfully with their crushes. Oh well, Hermes wasn't ever going to acknowledge her anyway. Then Megan came out of the new goddess complex carrying chocolate and ambrosia. "The Amazons make awesome food." She said. So the single goddesses all sat under the stars peacefully, eating delicious Amazonian chocolate and talking to the constellations.

Katie had just finished singing a song with Orion, and judging from the way the other goddesses were clutching their ears, she had better go in. Waving goodnight to her duet partner, the blonde goddess staggered to bed.

Once cozy in her soft aquamarine bed, Katie blew a goodnight kiss to her new fish. Then she turned over and drifted off to sleep, dreaming of many things.

_And now we say goodbye to the new goddess complex for a while, to visit Jason, substitute god of fire and smithery. Expect the usual here; Ares and Lauren PDAing, and Megan branding guys, and all that good stuff. And I will credit the website where I got a lot of those jokes from later._


	14. Jason

_Hello everyone; long time no see. Finals are over and we have a four-day weekend REJOICE! Ahem. Ok, here we have another guest chapter; Jason(us) god of fire and all crafts associated, subsitute of the god Hepheastus. I haven't spell checked this version yet, maybe in the morning. As of right now, some things to know._

_1)The Trojan war ended with the Greeks pretending to leave, and then secretly hiding away in a gigantic horse that the Trojans brought into their walls, thinking it was a gift._

_2)Helen of Troy- most beautiful woman ever, started Trojan war because Paris stole her from Sparta._

_3)Europa- kidnapped by Zeus when he was a white bull. She became queen I think; my knowledge of that myth is sketchy, but that's Ok._

A faint rumbling woke Jason. Groggily he reached for the snooze button, remembering just in time that he was in Ancient Greece, and his alarm clock was an active volcano. Bolting out of bed, he dashed over to stop it from erupting and causing utter destruction.

Once the obliteration of the world had narrowly been avoided again, (A/N: let's think back to the other guest chapter shall we?) Jason decided it was time to get some breakfast at the new goddess complex. As he was flying over there on his red Persian carpet, a dark shape suddenly loomed over him. Actually it was a number of shapes. Cursing, Jason swerved his carpet so as not to collide with Colleen, Megan or Liz, who were currently racing around Mt. Olympus to see who had the fastest ride. Katie might have been in the race too, but she was just sort of drifting along lazily, so Jason wasn't sure. Watching the skies warily, the fire god steered his flying carpet down to park. Then he entered the new goddess complex to get some grub.

"Hello everyone!" the god yelled as he walked in through the arched entrance. Silence and a few glares met his greeting. Sonomi gave a growl and bit off the prongs of her fork while Aubrey Lauren and Nicole all turned their backs to him and continued their whispered conversation. Jason grinned uneasily and tiptoed nervously over to get some breakfast. _What the hell is going on!_ He wondered frantically.

_Forgetting last night? When you decided to set off the chain of volcanoes at 2 in the morning? The new goddess complex was just rebuilt again. I heard the explosions on my island. It was quite spectacular._

Jason grinned sheepishly at Lindsay's accusations. _Oh yea, I forgot. _He said, helping himself to a cup ambrosia, letting it's heady scent fill his nose, making his mouth water…

_I hate you Jason. _

Jason let out an evil cackle and closed off the telepathic link to the hermit. He then chose a small, secluded corner and munched on his food, keeping an eye out for the random pillow flying by. The racers came in a few minutes later, Katie announcing her triumphant victory over the other three. Liz, Colleen and Megan sulked quietly as they ate, still not believing that they were beaten by an umbrella, even if it could go at the speed of sound. Soon breakfast was coming to a close, and most of the goddesses were filtering off to go to their morning lessons. Jason stood up and stretched, narrowly avoiding a fork that Megan threw at him. Quickly he ran out the door and flew back to his volcanic lair.

"Now," Jason said to himself, "Let's see what orders are in today." Cracking his neck, the god whipped out his notepad to check what needed to be made and fixed. Hera wanted a chariot polished, Sonomi needed a lighter staff, and Megan's cattle prod needed repair. On top of the repairs, it seemed a number of gods were scrambling to find gifts as the end of the new goddess's training approached. Apollo was asking for a rose quartz and diamond necklace with matching earrings, Dionysus wanted a jeweled encrusted plate holding three gold clementines, and Ares wanted a pair of silver handcuffs. Feeling slightly disturbed, Jason got to work on the tasks ahead of him.

It was still well before lunch when Jason finished. Yawning slightly, the god snapped his fingers, calling for a cup of cold fruit cocktail as he went to recline on a red beanbag chair. After lounging around for a few minutes as his faithful lava henchmen brought him various things, the fire god decided add some firepower to his flying carpet, and then work on some of his own projects. After all, a very special guest was coming over for lunch, and Jason wanted everything to be perfect.

The fire god had just finished polishing a pair of pure gold reclining chairs when the scent of wild roses wafted to his nose. Grinning suavely, Jason turned to greet his guest, Aphrodite, with a bow. She smiled softly and curtseyed in return, before removing her gauzy scarf and placing it delicately on the waiting coat rack. She then extended her arm gracefully. Jason took it and regally escorted her to lunch. Aphrodite gave a small gasp when she saw the arrangement in front of her. A table of crystal rested upon beautiful gold legs, outlined by the two gleaming chairs Jason had just finished. Just above the table, various pieces of diamond glittered, floating in the breezes that came in from the opening of the volcano lair that acted as a skylight. Jason, contented with his date's amazement, clapped his hands and escorted Aphrodite to a chair. As mechanical servants came out carrying trays of steaming food, the two immortals chatted and laughed.

As a beautiful phoenix came sailing in to present dessert, Jason decided that it was time to give his date the gift he had been working on. Snapping his fingers, the fire god reached into the shimmering air before him, and drew out a blood red rose, made out of the deepest colored gold, wrought with a copper stem. Inside the flower's thin petals was a small burning flame. Jason watched as Aphrodite stared at it, entranced by the swirling colors and patterns. " Thank you." the goddess breathed. Then she turned, bright eyed, and gave Jason a kiss on the cheek. Presently the kiss moved from the cheek, and the phoenix flew away, leaving the couple to exchange spit in private.

_14141414_

"Lunch is over darling, you should get back to your student." Jason said, reluctantly showing Aphrodite to the door. The goddess of love gave a soft little pout and made a big show of putting on her gauze scarf. Jason rolled his eyes slightly and gave her a soft kiss on the hand. Aphrodite smiled. "Goodbye." she said, pressing her hand to her cheek. Then she was gone, leaving behind the lingering scent of rose and a smile on Jason's face.

Soon the fire god came out of his stupor and headed back into his lair to see what needed to be done. His schedule was blank.. Apparently nothing was being broken, so this gave the god a whole afternoon too himself. Jason tapped his chin, thinking thoughtfully. Usually when he had free time, he would make little toys that came to life and wreaked havoc on innocent towns. Today however, Jason felt the urge to create something-big swell up within his soul. Grabbing his trusty hammer and chisel, the fire god went to work on a masterpiece. Soon the ringing sounds of beating metal and the occasional eruption were all that could be heard from Jason's forge.

The Greeks and the Trojans were just about to start another epic battle in their 10-year war. Grisly warriors bared their teeth at one another, while war cries and insults were running rampant. Just as the two commanders were about to lead the attack, the sky above the battlefield split open. The surprised warriors shielded their eyes as fire and brimstone began raining down on them. Soon a faint chuckling began to swell, mixing with the heat of volcanic magma to create an unbearable heat. The warriors cowered in fear as a huge object descended to earth, and the chuckling grew louder. The object grew larger and larger. Suddenly everything was silent, save for a small thud. The men looked up, astonished, and saw a huge gold horse standing in the middle of the battlefield. Leaning casually on one of the legs was a short god grinning smugly. As the warriors approached slowly, revering yet cautious, the god raised his arms and shouted.

"First bid on the gigantic gold horse!"

The auction began at once, and continued for hours on end. Both sides wanted to own this gigantic gold idol for some reason, and Jason was reaping the benefits. Finally, having nothing else to bid, Troy offered Helen. This enraged the Greek, and Jason sensed that this wouldn't turn out well. So he made the hard decision for them. "Trojans," he announced in a loud voice, "You will get the horse." As a volley of boos and hisses came from the Greeks, Jason continued. "In exchange, you will let the Greeks pray to it for an hour, and then you will take it. The Greeks will then sail away back to their homeland, and I will take Helen, deciding which side is worthy of claiming her."

This decision was met with some mumbling, but both sides wanted to prove their worth in order to claim the queen of Sparta/Troy. Helen wasn't too impressed by this chain of events. The fair-haired, blue eyed beauty pouted and glowered as she was led out of Troy on a blood-red litter adorned with silken pillows. Jason bowed to the Grecian beauty and escorted her onto his carpet. Motioning for the Trojans to go back into the city, Jason then winked at the Greeks.

"You have one hour."

A few minutes later, Jason had landed safely on the shores of Sparta. Giving the surprised Helen a soft kiss on the cheek, he set her down on the sand. "How do you know the Greeks are worthy of me?" the spoiled blonde demanded haughtily. Jason grinned slyly.

"Just a hunch."

Just as the last of the Greeks were sailing away, and the Trojans were coming out to claim their prize, the god of fire was just entering his volcanic forge, feeling very accomplished. Nothing seemed to have exploded in his absence either; this was a lucky day indeed! Jason checked his clipboard to see if the immortals were demanding anything now. Something caught his eye; apparently Megan had once again broken her cattle prod. Now would be a good time for vengeance against the whole needle in groin epidemic. Jason did some quick thinking, and then an evil look crossed his face as he laid out his plans...

_14141414_

Colleen and Megan were bored. Their mentors had disappeared suddenly, after Ares had made a slight pass at Artemis. The infuriated goddess was now chasing him around, trying to shove an arrow up his ass. Hera was going to stay behind and assist the two apprentice goddesses in their training, but she had left to go scream at her husband because of a recent deed involving a cow and a lady named Europa. And so the two goddesses were left on their own, which was probably a bad thing. They had first flown over to see what havoc they could wreak on the Trojan battlefield, but much to their disappointment, the Trojan War seemed to have finally fizzled out. After scaring a few random villages, the duo was now talking in the woods while leisurely playing a game of poke-the-sprites-without-getting-caught. Just as Colleen was cornering a particularly oblivious fairy, a twig snapped behind her, causing the pixie to panic and fly away. The goddess turned around, about to yell at a careless Megan, but something more diabolical met her gaze.

"Hello Young One."

Jason laughed silently as his quarry paled and took a step backward. _There's no escape_ he thought delightfully, reaching into his robes. As the fire god pulled out Megan's cattle prod, good as new and dangerous, Colleen gave a small squeal, like a pig being gutted. Jason bared his teeth, his black eyes glittering malevolently.

_Pay back time._

Megan was busy pulling the petals off of a small, smart-ass little Narcissus plant, when suddenly Colleen's screamed ricocheted through the woods. Standing up quickly, the goddess saw the blond come running out of the forest, a look of pure terror in her eyes. Before any questions could be asked however, another figured appeared out of the woods. Megan began trembling as the short silhouette drew closer, brandishing a very familiar weapon. Then she screamed and followed Colleen through the woods. Jason let out an evil cackle and followed.

All too soon (in Jason's opinion) three gray doves swooped down from the sky, signifying that it was time for meditation. Jason let out a sigh, and whistled for his carpet. Megan and Colleen came out, scowling and wary, rubbing their sides and heads where Jason had attacked them. The fire god quickly boarded his flying apparatus and tossed Megan her cattle prod. "It's fixed." he said, before igniting the new jets on his carpet and sonic-booming out of there. Megan and Colleen quickly followed suit.

Upon arriving at Hestia's villa, Jason knew that he wasn't the first one there; Liz's tigers were busy cleaning feathers out of their mouths. _Uh-oh. Better not get involved. _The fire god thought, hurrying inside. Sure enough, Nicole and Liz were there already, along with Aubrey and Sonomi. Katie arrived just after Jason, and Lindsay materialized in as well. Jason quickly cowered in a corner as the frontal door began rumbling. His actions weren't swift enough however, and Colleen and Megan came charging through, eyes ablaze with fury. God only knows what they would have done to him given the chance. Fortunately, Hestia decided to enter at that moment, signifying peace and the beginning of lessons. Everyone grudgingly sat down. The hearth goddess looked among the faces, frowning slightly.

"Lauren is not here."

Suddenly a voice could be heard in their minds.

_And she ain't coming to meditation baby!_

Hestia gave a smug smile and closed her eyes. Suddenly, Lauren appeared, sitting on top of Aubrey. "Yes, you are." the hearth goddess said to her pupil. Aubrey moaned as Lauren shifted her weight sheepishly. Suddenly something caught the ensemble goddess's eye.

"Lauren, are those handcuffs!"

The blonde goddess quickly hid her wrists. "Of course not!" she snapped, turning red. "Can we start meditation please!"

Hestia smiled and began instructions. "Today we are going to review everything you have learned here. We will begin by concentrating all of our energy into a small confined space. Ready? Begin." Jason was surprised to find how easy meditation like this had become. Soon everyone was in the same state, except Lindsay, who had fallen asleep.

The rest of the time passed by quickly, and Jason found himself amazed at his powers. Presently the sun began to set and everyone filtered away to their sleeping chambers, Nicole being the last to go, as she was frantically searching for her swans. The fire god decided it was best not to get involved, and so left discreetly.

Jason couldn't quite remember entering his lair, being so tired and all, but he vaguely remembered smelling wild rose and seeing Aphrodite greet him under the stars. Everything else was a blur, though he did remember her soft, petal-like lips. In fact, that was the last thing on his mind as Jason fell asleep, a small grin on his face.

_I know you're all thinking it, and the end is kind of vague, but I stated earlier; no sex in this story. Anyway- and so ends another, (unplanned) character chapter. Stay tuned for the final one; Lindsay, goddess of hermits._


	15. Lindsay

_I have been told that the last chapter was not very in character. Well, let me assure you; THIS character is very much in the chapter. The rating for this baby is R, but the person tends to drop the f-bomb on a regular basis. I've glossed over it in a few spots, but you have been warned. Some things to know._

_1) Persephone: daughter of Demeter, captured by Hades. Because she ate some seeds from a pomegranate (fruit of the dead) she has to stay in the underworld for half of the year._

_2)Jason: a prince, charged with finding the golden fleece to regain his kingdom. He was accompanied by 50 men, among them- Heracles (Hercules). Heracles's squire, Hylas was taken by a water nymph on an island, and Heracles went off looking for him. Jason had to sail without him on his ship called the Argo. He later married, and then abandoned the sorceress Medea_

_3)Icarus: he and his father escaped from king Minos by means of wings held to gether by wax. Icarus flew too close to the sun, his wings melted, and he fell into the ocean and drowned._

_4)I'm supposed to credit Lauren with the idea for the beginning of this chapter, though she didn't think of the monkey meat, Megan, so don't kill her._

Lindsay the grumpy hermit goddess was sleeping peacefully on her island, when a light touch on her head and soft guttural noises awoke her. "Megan," she whined, "go away." But the thing assumed to be Megan wouldn't leave the goddess alone. A sudden and sharp yank at her head jolted Lindsay totally awake. Rolling over slightly, the hermit came face to face with a rather large monkey, chewing on pieces of red hair and lice. Screaming with frustration and fury, Lindsay launched herself at the poor chimp, putting him in headlock.

"You live on my island," she seethed, "you crap in my sand, you steal my food, you try on my dress, but you do NOT mess with my hair!"

The poor monkey tried to grunt out an apology, but it was too late. Several minutes later, Lindsay was enjoying a delicious breakfast of roast chimp meat, spitted over an open flame. Licking the savory juices off her fingers, the goddess smoothed out her skirts and commenced to listen to the daily news. If she tilted her head a little to the right and back, stuck out her tongue and put her foot on her stomach, Lindsay could make out the voices of the other goddesses and gods whom she was linked to telepathically. Of course, this position looked a little strange, but since she was a hermit, no one would visit her anyway. No one except Demeter that is. Shivering slightly at the thought of her mentor, Lindsay squinted her eyes in concentration.

At first the goddess had to wade through some mortal muck; (The Greeks were rejoicing loudly in their victory over Troy) but finally she came across the other nine immortals having post-breakfast chats. The goddesses, sensing Lindsay's presence, opened up their conversations so she could join in. Katie and Megan were arguing about how to punish cute mortals, Lauren and Aubrey were losing spectacularly in a game of chess against Sonomi and Liz, Jason was sitting in a corner banging on his foot yelling "bitch, bitch" and Colleen and Nicole were comparing hot god boyfriend notes. Lindsay's mind wandered aimlessly until it was finally drawn into the conversation of the last two goddesses. Nicole was extremely giddy this morning after receiving a beautiful gift from her very own Apollo. "He's so sweet and so handsome. I swear Lindsay, even _you _have got to have found somebody worthy of being your crush." The bubbly goddess chided.

Lindsay mentally rolled her eyes. _Gee Nicole, you're probably right,_ _but there's just one problem with me meeting hot gods. I'M STUCK ON A # ISLAND!_

Eventually the conversations dwindled and died as the goddesses and god meandered off to their final morning training session. Lindsay made a mental snatch at the food, but with no avail. Sadly she returned to her body. Monkey meat was good, but it was grisly and left one hungry very soon after. Lindsay shifted her weight and began picking off ants from her dress, munching on them thoughtfully. Every once in a while she would look up to check that she wasn't sitting under a tree. A few days ago, the red-haired goddess had rescued a baby sloth floating in the ocean. Apparently the sloth had telepathic powers and/or cloning abilities, because now the lethargic creatures were clinging to trees everywhere, waiting to fall on the unsuspecting hermit that sat under them.

Just as Lindsay finished her impromptu meal of insects, the air in front of her started to shimmer and gleam. This meant only one thing: Demeter was coming to visit. Lindsay gave a small groan as the corn goddess stepped through the glittering threshold onto the sandy beach of the island. As usual, she lifted her skirts disdainfully while glaring at her student. As usual she tossed Lindsay a small piece of something to work with and make her life more comfortable: today was an inch of string. And as usual, Demeter didn't utter single word. One thing was not so usual about the goddess's visit today however. As Demeter disappeared, Lindsay turned her attention to the piece of string, willing it to become longer. She had managed to make a foot-long braid when a stifled cough was heard behind her. Turning around, Lindsay paled.

"Hello to you too."

The gravelly cold voice came from a rather dark-looking goddess sitting on the beach in layers of black and green silk that was tattered and full of holes. Her raven hair was shoulder length and twisted into knots and braids atop her pale head. The girl's nails were bitten down to the quick and bloody, just like her red eyes that peaked out from beneath thin eyebrows. Lindsay shuddered at the arrival of this new goddess, for that is what she was.

"Nice to see you Persephone."

The immortal, Persephone, pursed her dry, crackled lips in disapproval. "Don't lie to me!" she snapped, "I know you can't stand me: no one can. Apparently there's something wrong with me and I'm diseased. Why, even my own mother gave me to Hades, who only will take me for half of the year. Honestly, I can't think of a worse life than mine."

"Try living alone on an island." Mumbled Lindsay, but the other goddess pretended not to hear her.

"You never know what you have until it's gone. Then you're stuck in a swirling black abyss of dismal nothingness, with only your past demons to haunt you. No one cares if you live or die. In fact, it's better for them not to know. Ignorance is bliss, and everyone's life ends up as apathy anyway. We're all just mere shadows on the wall, waiting to disappear as soon as the lights are turned out. Moths that fly too close to the flame and sputter out. Small slimy bugs that are squashed into little pools of intestine and mush. Little helpless infants who- Are you even listening to me?"

Lindsay stopped banging her head on a nearby tree for a moment. "No go on," she said through gritted teeth. "I find this fascinating." Unfortunately Persephone didn't catch the biting sarcasm within her fellow goddess's words, and did continue. She continued for an hour and a half, while Lindsay made various attempts to strangle herself, drown herself, and knock herself unconscious, just to get away from this insanely depressing creature. But nothing worked, and finally Persephone left in a dark cloud of smog that gave Lindsay a short hacking fit. When it was over, the hermit goddess muttered a few choice words to her favorite mentor and went off to go lengthen her strand of rope.

The hermit goddess had managed to create a yard of thick cord, but she was interrupted before any more progress could be made. Sounds of a boat being dragged on shore and numerous footsteps were heard, along with the occasional shouting of orders and cursing. Curious, Lindsay peeked out from behind the clump of bramble where she had been sitting. There on the beach was a huge boat, with the name "Argo" scrawled across it in golden letters. Out of the great ship came dozens of warriors, all clad in armor, sweating and swearing as they pulled things ashore. Standing on the beach, surveying all, was a young man. Tossing his sandy brown hair out of his dark gray eyes, the man surveyed the island before him, searching for hidden dangers, sword ready at his side. Lindsay decided now was a good time to introduce herself. After a vain attempt to smooth out her hair and skirt, the hermit goddess took a deep breath and stepped out onto the beach.

At first no one noticed the bedraggled immortal. Then a sailor looked up from his knot tying. Spying Lindsay, he gave a horrified shriek and fainted onto the sand. The hermit goddess winced; she probably looked a lot worse than she realized. Her theory seemed to be proving all-too true, as the man with brown eyes pulled out his sword. Others followed his lead, advancing on the strange creature that seemed to be strangely calm. Finally the leader spoke.

"What are you?"

Lindsay gritted her teeth. "I am not a what. I am Lindsay, goddess in training, ruler of hermits, and slightly miffed at your entrance and accusations. After all Jason, you and your argonauts are supposed to be the most respected warriors in all of Greece. "

At this, the leader bowed respectfully to the all-knowing goddess. It was true: he was Jason, and this was his crew. Only a wise immortal could have known that. Or a mythology buff from the 21st century.

" A thousand apologies great and beautiful goddess Lindsay." Jason said respectfully. Lindsay rolled her eyes: two weeks rolling around in monkey crap and moss certainly did not leave her great or beautiful. But this mortal was respectful, which the hermit goddess liked. That was why his next words brought a cry to her throat.

"We will leave immediately."

Lindsay let out a wail of protest. It was after all, her first contact with human life in a long time (Demeter and her insane daughter didn't count), and they were _nice_ humans at that. But Jason would not be persuaded otherwise. With a polite kiss on her hand, the prince led his argonauts back onto their ship and within 5 minutes, they were gone. Lindsay stood there blinking. Finally she stamped her foot and let the curses spew out.

"Fuck that stupid golden fleece."

"I hope Medea castrates the bastard."

Suddenly the goddess's rampage was cut short by the sound of something crashing through the brush, along with a low voice that kept calling "Hylas!" Lindsay gripped her hermit staff tensely as the noise came closer. Soon a man burst out of the foliage. He was tall, muscular and wild looking. Slung about his waist was a lion's pelt, and in his hands was a large spear. Lindsay took a disliking to him immediately. Apparently the man thought the same way about the goddess, because he started spewing out curses and swinging his weapon in the air. Lindsay stood there unfazed. "Where is Hylas!" the warrior demanded. "I am the great Heracles, you cannot deny me anything! Tell me where my servant is foul creature!"

Lindsay responded by spitting at him. "First of all," she growled, "You're precious Hylas is probably on the Argo, sailing off to Colchis. Second of all, you should be on that ship too, and third of all, I'm in a bad mood and don't appreciate being called a creature."

Heracles gave a smug grin and advanced towards the seemingly foolish immortal. A few seconds later, he was on the ground, having been whacked across the head with Lindsay's staff. Heracles swore and started up again. This time the hermit goddess snapped her fingers, and a huge sloth fell from the tree above Heracles, pinning him to the ground. "Foul temptress!" the hero spat, pulling himself out from under the lethargic mammal, "I was patient with you. Now it's time to open a can of whoop ass!"

Lindsay just smirked. "You are one cheesy bastard." She commented smoothly, clapping her hands. Before Heracles could react, swarms of red ants came streaming down from the trees and up from the ground. The great hero barely had a chance to scream before he was covered by little biting insects. Lindsay watched smugly as Heracles squirmed and writhed under their acid sting. Still, she couldn't leave him on her island forever; he was just to damn annoying! Finally, the hermit goddess reluctantly called off her ant army. Walking over to the sobbing heap on the beach, she motioned for Heracles to follow her. "But," she snarled, brandishing her hermit staff, "don't get any ideas." Heracles nodded feebly.

The two walked across the sand and over to a small cave nestled among a grove of trees. Lindsay moved the leaves aside to reveal a small rowboat and oar. "Take it and get off my island." The hermit goddess told Heracles sternly. The hero obliged as quickly as he could and soon he was off, rowing across the water as if his life depended on it. Actually it probably did, because Lindsay was rather ticked off at the loss of her boat that she had created yesterday from a wood chip.

Soon the rumbling in her stomach brought the goddess out of her stupor. Kicking over the nearest anthill, Lindsay called for a sacrifice of worker ants to appease her. The poor insects obliged, and soon Lindsay was snacking on deep-fried bugs. After grabbing a bit to drink, the goddess decided to check in on her fellow immortals and see what was going on.

Apparently things weren't going great. Nicole was chasing Lauren around with her swans, accusing the blonde of trying to steal her man. Lauren was on her horse, galloping at top speed to get away from the crazed goddess, trying to say that it wasn't her, it was Aubrey. Lindsay couldn't really get a good lock on either of them to get the straight story, so she let them continue their chase and went back to the new goddess complex to talk to more sane people. Aubrey was hiding, lest Nicole go after her next, but everyone else was there, and welcomed the hermit into their conversations. Megan was gloating about how she had branded a certain Icarus because he was chasing her flying monkeys around. Then his father had come over and tried to bitch Megan out, so she branded him too!

Lindsay decided not to mention her breakfast this morning. Instead she chatted with Katie about how mortals never seemed to take the goddesses seriously until they were smote by them. Katie didn't like doing it very much, but Lindsay, being uncomfortable and crabby for so long, said she really didn't give a fuck.

The lunch hour passed all to quickly for the hermit goddess. Soon only Jason and Liz were left in the dining area. Lindsay had just finished a chat with them about where Hephaestus probably was, when the air began to shimmer on in front of the hermit once again. Lindsay groaned. _I'll talk to you guys later._ she said. Just as she closed off her telepathic link, Demeter appeared on the island again. Lindsay gave her mentor an anxious smile. "Why hello mentor!" she said, (ever so slightly) sarcastically. Demeter gave the redhead a disapproving look, but it wasn't her mission to make the hermit's life miserable today. Or was it?

"You need a man."

Lindsay gave a squawk of surprise and fell over backward. The first words to come out of her mentor's mouth! Cautiously the goddess sat up, looking around for means of escape incase Demeter started going nuts. The harvest goddess sniffed slightly. "I repeat, you need a man. I'll send Pan over to keep you company."

"NOOOOOOOO!" screamed Lindsay, but it was too late. Demeter was gone. Shaking with fear, Lindsay quickly grabbed her hermit staff and leaped behind the nearest rock she could find. There she stayed for a few minutes, breathing heavily. Not a sound was heard on the tropical island, and soon Lindsay's heart rate thudded back to normal. Cautiously climbing out from behind the rock, the hermit looked around her in every direction. Coast was clear. Then a twig snapped behind her. Lindsay whirled around and came face-to-face with a drooling, lustful Pan.

Lindsay gave an ear-piercing scream and jumped onto the rock. The volume of her voice knocked Pan over, but he wasn't to be discouraged. Grinning he advanced towards the hermit rock. Lindsay took a step back defensively.

"Don't come any closer. I have a stick. (1)"

Apparently English wasn't Pan's first language. It was probably Greek. But either way, Lindsay decided it would be more advantageous to be offensive against this creep. With a terrifying war cry, the goddess launched herself at Pan, pummeling him mercilessly with her fists and staff. What ever the shepherd god was expecting to get from this redheaded goddess, this definitely wasn't it. After trying to weakly defend himself for a second or two, Pan leapt to his feet and took off down the beach. Lindsay, still furious, followed her prey.

A few minutes later, the redhead was following the trail of hoof prints left by her offender, when she came across something very surprising. Two mermen were lying on the beach sunning themselves. Hearing Lindsay's approach, them turned their serpentine bodies to look at her. The goddess felt herself blush slightly under their sly grins. Walking over to them, Lindsay extended a hand in welcome. "Hello, this is my hermit island," she said, then winced and blurted out, "but you can stay here as long as you want!"

The mermen glanced at each other and chuckled. The one with blue hair wriggled forward and excepted her hand, giving it a slight kiss. "We wouldn't dream of leaving this place and shunning the honor of being here with you." The golden-haired one chuckled softly and agreed. Lindsay stifled an uncharacteristic giggle as she smiled gratefully at the two handsome sea creatures. Suddenly something caught her eye. Hanging around each of these merman's neck was a medallion: one was a small trident, and the other one was a lightning bolt. Lindsay's gaze darkened as she cracked her knuckles.

"Change of plan boys." She said flatly, "Get off this island by the time I count to two, or run, and let me tell you: I've never seen a mermaid run." The two started to protest politely, but Lindsay could see fear in their eyes. Finally the gold merman got impatient. "We're not leaving and that is that ma'am." He insisted.

Lindsay glared at them. "Two." She hissed, cocking her staff like an automatic. Then she started advancing slowly. The panicked mermen flopped across the beach, then throwing all care away, changed back into their original god forms and ran sprinting across the beach as Zeus and Poseidon. Lindsay ran after them, tripped, fell on her face, got up and continued to chase them.

After a good hour or so of a Lord of the Flies style hunt, Lindsay, soaked in sweat, collapsed under a large palm tree. Panting heavily, the hermit goddess made a vain attempt to fix her staff, which had become bent after she had clubbed Pan with it. The half-goat had jumped into the sea, swimming frantically away from the demon island, only to be marauded by sharks on the way back to the mainland. Lindsay closed her eyes, relishing the memory of his screams. Poseidon was under water sulking and probably rubbing his soar butt, while Zeus made his escape by jumping into the clouds, swearing to return very soon. Lindsay didn't believe it.

Pretty soon a small troupe of ants discovered the sweating goddess. They came over, attacking her relentlessly for past atrocities and a large group of flies and mosquitoes soon joined in the torment. Lindsay half-heartedly swatted them away, but she was too tired to do much else. Squinting at the sky, the hermit judged it to be late afternoon. Meditation was advancing quickly. At least she had that to look forward to...

_Attention all students, meditation is cancelled today. Congratulations on becoming true goddesses!_

Lindsay felt something welling up inside her, but it wasn't until a scream exploded out of her throat that she realized she was furious. Spewing out incomprehensible curses, the goddess shook out her robes violently, drowning billions of insects with a small tidal wave. Still angry, Lindsay kicked the first thing she saw: the palm tree. Bad idea. Even though she was under its shade, the hermit could still tell that the shadow of the tree was getting closer. Only it wasn't the tree. Lindsay looked up and had time to mouth "Oh shit." Before a huge sloth fell on top of her.

The thud resounded across the Aegean Sea. Then came the scream.

"DEMETER!" Lindsay yelled, struggling to get out from beneath the huge lethargic piece of animal, "Get me off this fucking island NOW!" Getting no response, the redheaded goddess grabbed the nearest thing to burn in an offering. The sloth wouldn't light because of all the moss that was growing on it, so Lindsay burned a small bush. The result was instantaneous. Through the shimmering portal came Demeter, looking a little amused, but mostly annoyed. Lindsay growled at her mentor and made a few weak attempts to crack her head open. Demeter deflected the exhausted goddess's swings easily, and stood, hands on hips, to see what her student wanted. "Send me back to Mt. Olympus now." Lindsay demanded, "If you don't, I'll tell Hades that you wanted Persephone all year round."

Demeter snorted. "How are _you_ going to do that."

Lindsay smirked. "I have connections." _Right Becca? _

_Lala, stuck in fields, cannot get out, going insane..._

_God, you're no help._

_Help me! AUGH!_

As Lindsay pulled away from Becca's damaged mind, she stared smugly at her mentor. Demeter's eyes held traces of fear at the thought of seeing her daughter all year round, but the goddess refused to give in to her student's demands. A heavy, defiant silence hung between the two immortals. Finally Demeter spoke. "What day is it?" she asked simply.

"How the fuck should I know!" Lindsay spat. "It's not like this damn island has a clock or anything." Demeter ignored her student's commentary, and commenced to have a mental chat with Zeus. Lindsay could hear snippets of it if she focused her mind right, but mostly all that came to her ears was hushed noise. Finally Demeter turned to her.

"OK."

Lindsay stared at her blankly. "OK what?"

Without speaking Demeter clapped her hands. Suddenly the hermit goddess was enveloped in a shimmery veil. As the island around her started to fade away, she saw Demeter waving to her. "Good riddance." The corn goddess muttered as her charge disappeared from the island.

A few seconds later, Lindsay found herself in the new goddess, in some random bedroom that she took to be hers. Smiling blissfully, the ex-hermit moved to her bed.

_15151515_

The other goddesses were downstairs, celebrating at not having to go to meditation. Liz, Megan, Katie and Lauren were playing a game of SlapJack with a deck of mortals, Colleen was gleefully poking at the fire, and Nicole was nestled in a chair reading. Sonomi was having a thumb war with her teddy bear while Jason watched over the chunk of meat he had spitted over the fire, and Aubrey sang to herself while combing her hair. Suddenly a huge THUD jolted everyone out of activity. "What was that?" whispered Colleen. Then she yelled in pain as her unattended hand caught on fire. Once the mild emergency had been fixed with Katie's help, the immortals decided to go upstairs and see what had happened. Armed to the teeth with branding irons, staffs and teddy bears, they advanced up the stairs, peaking into various bedrooms. When they got to the spare one, Lauren let out a shriek.

"What the heck is that!"

The others looked. Lying on the bed was what appeared to be a large fuzzy red rodent. But further investigation yielded a different answer: it was the hermit goddess Lindsay, fast asleep.

_(1) Who ever can place this quote gets a cookie! __And so we leave the single character chapters behind. Yay! The story is far from over, but finishing up very quickly. What will happen next? Why, what else; a grand celebration to commemorate all the new goddess's hard work!_


	16. Feasting

_After that amazing last chapter about the greatest goddess ever (I'm assuming we all know who the author is by this point), I now give you... another chapter. Knowledge prerequisites:_

_Morpheus: god of dreams. You would remember him best in The Odyssey on the island of the Lotus-Eaters._

_Druid: Celtic priests. Yes I added another cameo.. Its an addiction. I swear I'll stop._

_Eros AKA Cupid. The god of Love and making people fall in love._

_Theseus (the guy who killed the Minotaur) was asked by Peirithous to help him kidnap Persephone. Well, after they stated their case in front of Hades, he had them sit down on a bench, which they were stuck on. Heracles finally freed Theseus, leaving his thighs on the bench._

_OK, that's it. Oh and look who finally figured out how to use the page breaker!_

When the sun rose the next morning, it was greeted by a scream and commotion. The new goddesses had just all received a pamphlet with some very important information on it.

**Congratulations Goddesses, on the completion of your training! All of your mentors are extremely proud of you and your accomplishments. There will be a ceremonial banquet tonight, in honor of you. Grand Hall, Mount Olympus. You may bring one guest with you.**

Nicole, Lauren and Colleen sighed happily at the last line, knowing that they were already covered guest-wise. However, some goddesses weren't.

* * *

A blur of green whizzed across Ancient Greece, leaving havoc and posters in its wake. Aubrey was frantically looking for a date for the ceremony tonight. Armed with a hammer and paper, the goddess was busy putting up personal ads for a "dark handsome and sexy stranger, must be at least 6 foot. Foot fetishes are not wanted, and must not have been previously screwed by an immortal." So far she was not having any luck. Running full speed in her sedan chair, Aubrey had just arrived at Thebes and was putting up a bulletin in the local temple, when she felt a rough hand on her shoulder. 

"Pardon my asking oh goddess, but have you forgotten me?"

Aubrey nearly melted with relief right on the spot.

"Hello Calix."

* * *

Nicole, Colleen and Lauren decided to go hit up a mortal boutique before the banquet. "Mmm," breathed Lauren, sampling a fragrance bottle of crushed rose and ambrosia. Colleen and Nicole were busy trying on strands of gold, watching the soft light from the crystal lanterns dazzle on the far wall. "This store is awesome." Whispered Nicole, not wanting to disturb the atmosphere of the place. Finally, after a good hour of shopping, the trio decided on their items for purchasing. Nicole left with a pink silk shawl embroidered with silver thread, three strands of coral beads and a bottle of "Wild Flower". Colleen chose a set of ruby and gold earrings to match her dress, Jasmine perfume and a small set of diamonds to decorate her nails with. Lauren decided to exercise her goddessness to the max, and bought satin shoes the color of sea foam adorned with pink pearls, a cobalt choker bracelet and brooch set, two bottles of "Goddess Essence", and to top it all off, a tiara made of blue glass. 

"Ok, I'm ready to go." She said, lugging her treasures behind her.

* * *

Megan rolled up her sleeves and grabbed her weapons. It was time to go "guy-hunting," but in pure Mego-monkey style.

* * *

Lindsay yawned, rolled over, and continued sleeping.

* * *

A cool breeze fluttered by, shaking branches and twisting hair. All except for the spiked 'do of Liz that is. The goddess was sitting outside, shining up her staff. She didn't have a date, wasn't looking for one, but god damnit she wasn't about to be going to the banquet with her duck staff in disrepair. With a final whirl of the rag, Liz gave a satisfactory nod and stood up. Suddenly the sky above her darkened, threatening rain. Liz shrugged, quickly turned her staff into an umbrella, and started in towards the new goddess complex. However, she was stopped shortly as purple raindrops fell from the sky, sending little sparks everywhere as they hit earth. Raising an eyebrow, Liz looked around for the cause of this oddity, but saw no one. Instead, she observed small beetles emerging from the ground, glowing yellow and singing hymns. Then with out warning, everything went dark. 

Trying not to panic, Liz gripped her staff tensely as the world around her swirled and changed colors. "I know your out there damnit!" she yelled, "Don't make me come and find you!" There was no response. Growling, the prankster goddess scanned her sickening horizons, looking for a weak spot. To her left, she spotted a normal-looking shrub, and attacked with all her strength.

"OW! Holy shit woman, I was only kidding around! Stop it!"

Liz dealt out one last smack and then stepped back to smugly survey her handiwork. Crouching where the bush had been was a young man, presumably a god, with his hands above his head protectively. Sensing that the terrible onslaught had ceased, he stood up. Liz felt her pulse quicken slightly: he was kind of cute.

The god's raven black hair fell asymmetrically across his face, covering a deep violet eye. The other one was an intense green, and held Liz in its gaze for a good five minutes. Finally, after a bit of silence, the god shook his head and swept into a deep bow, revealing black crow feather wings sprouting from his shoulders. "My apologies." He said, straightening up while smoothing out his slightly tattered ebony tuxedo. With a quick fluid motion, he produced a cane of pale white birch out of the air, topped with a large purple crystal. Leaning forward, the god allowed his lips to brush Liz's hand. "I didn't mean to startle you," he said pleasantly, "but I was rather shy, and didn't quite know how to introduce myself to such a lovely creature as yourself."

Liz narrowed her eyes, and raised her hand to smack this insolent man over the head for his blatant sarcasm and sappiness, but as she saw him flinch, it dawned on the goddess that he wasn't joking. Lowering her hand, she extended it out for a handshake.

"Liz, goddess of random pranks on mortals."

The god's eyes sparkled. He took her hand in an elegant shake.

"Morpheus, god of dreams."

_Well, that explains a lot_ thought Liz happily.

* * *

A man in scarlet robes was walking throughthe forest, limping slightly on his bad leg. He was getting very tired and kind of annoyed. Where the hell was Mount Olympus? The god shook his head of curly red hair and took a few more steps in one direction before deciding to change course. He hadn't gone two feet when suddenly a tall figure wearing a goat skull leapt out at him. The god gave a scream and backed away in alarm as the figure in black shook a blue plastic maraca at him and spewed pink and black silly string from its fingers. "You are in MY woods." the figure cackled, the large goat's skull glowing an eerie white. The god paled and held up his hands in defeat. 

"Please, I got lost.Can you show me where Mount Olympus is? And please, don't kill me."

The figure stopped shaking for a moment, placing the maraca and silly string in some invisible pocket deep within the black robes. Reaching up, it removed the goat skull to reveal a goddess with long brown hair to her waist. "Mount Olympus?" she inquired, shaking out her robes. Several fake-looking leaves fell to the ground and the twin red dragons embroidered on the front of her robes danced menacingly. A huge high-heel peaked out from beneath the fabric, black and spindly.

"Yes, Mount Olympus," the god said, taking a step back as the brunette drew out an onyx sword encrusted with emeralds. "There's a party there for some new goddesses, and I want to arrive soon."

The druid/goddess's ears perked up. "Oooh, a party. I'll come with you." she said cheerfully. "Oh, and by the way, I'm Sarah, goddess of S.L.U.T.S. and heels."

The red-haired god raised an eyebrow. "Sluts?"

Sarah nodded and twirled her sword. Suddenly out the ground a huge shadowy polar bear/dragon emerged, with six legs, crooked horns and nasty teeth. "S.L.U.T.S." Sarah explained and the god backed up in fear, "Scary Large Unnatural Things." Then she extended her hand down for a handshake. The god took it earnestly.

"Name's Hephaestus. Now, which way is Olympus?"

* * *

Lindsay blinked once or twice sleepily, scratched her head, and slipped out of consciousness again.

* * *

The underworld was usually a quiet place, but today however, it was anything but. The door to the Elysian Fields smoked, smoldered, and finally exploded. As Hades cowered on the ground, trying to avoid hot shrapnel, he noted a figure emerging through the portal, slowly picking her way through the debris. "Tried to keep ME from the ceremony." Huffed Becca, smoke still drifting from her fingertips, "Well, we'll just see about that." 

To her right, the goddess spotted two men sitting on a stone bench. They both turned their gaze to the fiery immortal, pleading with her silently to set them free. Becca rolled her eyes. "I can't stand wusses," she mumbled, yanking the one on the left off the bench, "but you're hot, and I need a date. Let's go."

* * *

"Lalala." Sonomi hummed to herself, enjoying the sweet breeze as it rushed past her face. The goddess lay back in her hammock, watching the leaves on the trees glide away, and then return in a dizzying constant motion. Closing her eyes, Sonomi suddenly heard a soft swooshing noise. Sitting, up, she was unexpectedly engulfed gently in a white sheet. "Oh!" gasped the goddess, not really alarmed. A soft chuckle came from above her, and the sheet-which was really a white feathered wing- was slowly lifted from Sonomi's eyes. Looking up, the goddess recognized the face smiling shyly down at her. 

"You were at the ceremony when we first came." She commented, swinging her legs out and jumping down from the hammock to get a better view of her visitor. He was cheery and dimple-faced, with twinkling brown eyes: an almost Asian complexion. From his shoulders rose white wings, drapping his body and covering his toga. Sonomi stood patiently, waiting for an introduction.

"Yea, uh… my name's Eros, and I'm uh, a god, but you knew that, and uh I'm god of doves, I mean love, and uh…"

Sonomi giggled as Eros turned a beet red. The god stammered a few more words, and then took a deep breath. "OK, let's try this again. Would you like to go to the ceremony with me tonight?"

"Sure." Sonomi said cheerfully, reaching over to caress his feathered shoulders. "You're really soft." She said dreamily.

* * *

"Yea! That's what you get for looking at me!" yelled Megan gleefully as she let loose a shower of furious shocks on a helpless mortal cowering before her. Despite his pleas, he was soon reduced to a twitching heap. Seeing that her job was done here, Megan smiled and moved on, leaving a trail of bodies and castration in her wake.

* * *

Katie's heart thudded in her throat as she knocked on the door to Hermes's castle. Today she would finally work up her courage to ask her hot tutor out. As the seconds ticked by, the butterflies in her stomach turned into little demons and started twisting and churning Katie's insides. Literally. "What if he's with another girl?" they hissed, "What if he says no? What if he's gay?" 

Suddenly the door creaked open, and Katie had to shut up the inner voices to concentrate on smiling. "Hi Hermes," she said, "Do you mind if I come in?" The god smiled at seeing his former student and quickly ushered her inside with a "How wonderful to see you! Hope you're doing well. How's Liz?"

Katie bristled at the last question, and stiffly replied that her fellow goddess was probably fine. Hermes went on as if nothing had happened, but the moment he stopped talking, there was a huge awkward silence between the two immortals. Katie fidgeted and picked at her dress.

"Ok, Hermes, here is the deal. You see there's a banquet tonight, in honor of us becoming goddesses I mean, and um, we can bring someone with us, and well…"

As the blonde goddess trailed off, blushing like crazy, Hermes gave her a wink and a friendly pat on the head.

"Sure I'll go with you! I don't have anything to do today. We can go as friends, and I can scope out all of your hot fellow goddesses."

Katie's hopeful gaze fell to the floor. "Oh," she said simply, brushing at her cheeks, "that's fine. I guess I'll see you there then."

Hermes rolled his eyes in exasperation, and suddenly Katie found herself swept off the floor, clinging to the god's shoulders in surprise. "You may be cute and talented," Hermes said, "but you are thick my dear."

Before Katie could respond, he sealed his invitation with a kiss.

* * *

As Helios dawned his purple and orange robes of sunset, the royal bugles sounded atop Mount Olympus. Mortals heard it for miles and looked up in awe and wonder, picturing the wonders it was signifying. For the goddesses, this meant only one thing: party time. Lauren and Ares were the first to arrive, followed by an annoyed Megan. The three immortals caught their breath as they entered the Grand Hall. Somehow the walls had been taken down, so it looked like a huge pavilion surrounded by a beautiful green garden full of flowers and fruit trees. Pale streamers floated high in the air, shimmering in the evening sun and reflecting the light onto the huge crystal slab in the center of the room that was the table. The top of the hall opened up to what looked like thousands of stars. Soon they exploded into life however, and it was revealed that they were diamond butterflies. In the background the soft tingling of bells was heard and sweet scents lingered in the air. 

The three immortals sat at the large crystal table, Megan at one end and the couple at the other. Soon Aubrey and Calix entered, followed by Colleen and Dionysus, Liz and Morpheus, Sonomi and Eros, Nicole and Apollo, Becca and Theseus, and a beaming Katie with Hermes in tow. There was slight confusion as a druid entered the scene, escorted by an unknown god, but they were soon recognized as Sarah and Hephaestus. Jason came in, obviously pleased, Aphrodite's hand on his arm. Such a pimp. Finally Lindsay stumbled sleepily into the room. "Wow" she said, amazed as everyone else was by the decorations. Then she ran into a chair, which she promptly sat down in.

Soon all the goddesses were talking softly amongst themselves, detailing their major victories and defeats in the process of their training. Suddenly the air at the head of the table began to shimmer and shake. With a bright flash of light, Zeus and his two brothers, Hades and Poseidon walked into the room, clapping vigorously. Hades and Poseidon glared at Lindsay and Becca, who made several threatening gestures and returned the evil eye. Zeus cleared his throat and hastily began his speech before any fighting had a chance to break out.

"Esteemed goddesses," he began, then added "and god" as an afterthought. "Today is a day of celebration for you all. We wish to congratulate you for your success in becoming goddesses of Mount Olympus. Now, let the feasting begin!" With that he clapped his hands and took a seat along with Hades and Poseidon at the far end of the table. Soon the table was laden with huge piles of steaming food, succulent and tempting. Lindsay looked around the table, as if observing something for the first time.

"Hey Megan, we're the only ones without dates."

The two single goddesses looked at each other and smiled. As cheesy romance music swelled up in the background, they turned and started to throw food at all the happy couples. Nicole screamed and ducked behind Apollo as a spoonful of curried rice was thrown her way. Liz was busy defending off matzo balls while Sonomi and Aubrey each got hit with turkey legs. "OWW!" yelled Colleen, after getting plastered with a deviled egg, "OK, you two need to stop it now!" Still grinning evilly, the two goddesses high-fived each other and sat down primly. Soon order was restored.

As the goddesses cleaned up and started eating, everyone chatted happily and the mood around the table was that of levity and excitement. The goddesses with dates were getting to know them, while the goddesses with boyfriends were definitely getting to know them. "Would you like to pet the banana?" Ares asked Lauren coyly, gesturing to his, um, platter. The blonde goddess turned beet-red and giggled into her soup.

Liz was busy having a thumb war with Morpheus when she suddenly paled and gave a small shriek. Startled, everyone turned her way. Soft murmurs could be heard coming from Liz's forehead- it was Dirty Clarence, shaking with fear. Liz listened to all he had to say, and stood up gravely.

"Attention everyone! Yes, everyone. Shut up Megan. I have some fucked up news. You all know Pan right? My informant has informed me that he let the Titans and the Cyclops out and wants to wage war on Mount Olympus!"

There was a collective gasp. Could it be true?

Liz nodded. "I shit you not." she said seriously. "They've already attacked the Amazons. Artemis, Hera and Athena are busy keeping them at bay there, but soon more troops will storm up the mountain!"

With this, Liz collapsed onto the floor, and had to be carried back to the table. Zeus then stood up solemnly. "Brothers, Aphrodite, new goddesses," he announced, "It is time to prepare for war!"


	17. Beasting

The wind swept across a deserted plain, carrying the uncanny whistle from the old westerns along with it. There was tension in the air; everyone could feel it. Even the slow and lowly mortals sensed that an epic battle was about to take place, and knew that their fate depended on the outcome. The immortals of Mount Olympus stood at the edge, weapons ready, arms tense. Soon the faint sounds of battle drums were detected, approaching fast. Hermes, scouting above them with his sandals, gave a shout and pointed in the direction of a menacing looking cloud flying low on the ground. It wasn't a cloud however, and soon the immortals could pick out the details of the Titan's rusted and bloodstained armor and the bent, crooked smiles of the Cyclops. Pan was nowhere in sight- probably off hiding in the mountains.

"Gross." said Katie, wrinkling her nose as a large Titan let loose a huge wad of green spit.

By mid-morning the some-what large army of nasty immortal creatures stood facing the goddesses and gods of Mount Olympus. The Titans glared and glowered while the Cyclops beat their chests and let forth thunderous war cries. All around them, evil looking demons and imps snarled. The goddesses were unfazed. Sonomi pulled out her staff as demon teddy bears snarled in a cloud around her. Aubrey was a vision of evil in her purple ensemble, large dictionaries and swathes of black cloth flying around her. Lauren and Colleen were busy making faces at the stoic Titans, while Nicole blew huge scary bubbles and sent them across the field. Lindsay and Liz palmed their staffs menacingly while Megan gave her branding iron a final spit shine. Along with Becca's icy glare, Sarah's swordplay, Marjorie's random appearances and Jason's evil jack-o-lantern grin, the Mount Olympus immortals seemed to stand a chance. The Titans even started having second thoughts about attacking right now. Fortunately, Ares, in his infinite wisdom, evened out the playing field.

"OK, goddesses, stand over there with Aphrodite. We'll start this battle off right, and call you if we need any back up."

The goddesses slumped in disbelief. "You're shitting us, right?" Lindsay demanded. But it seemed that the rest of the gods felt this way too, so the goddesses went off, grumbling to the sidelines.

"If I had wanted to spend my afternoon with a two-bit whore, I would have gone to Thebes!" Megan hissed, "No offense Aphrodite."

The rest of the goddesses quietly agreed. Suddenly Lauren jumped up, grinning. "I know!" she squealed, "Let's do the blonde cheer!"

Boos and hisses greeted the suggestion, but having nothing better to do, the goddesses decided to. As the battle between the gods roared to life, everyone donned blonde wigs and began to chant:

"Totally, for sure!  
I just got a manicure!

The sun, I swear,  
Is bleaching out my gorgeous hair.

21, 34  
I don't know the stupid score!

Go Go! Fight Fight!  
Gee I hope I look alright!"

And so it was repeated, over and over again. Louder and louder the goddesses chanted, drowning out the sounds of the battle that was taking place in front of them.

_God, this is really torture!_ Whined Megan.

_I know,_ said Colleen,pointing to Lauren, _but at least it shuts her up._

"Go! Go! Fight! Fight!"

The goddesses stopped cheering. Out on the battlefield, gods were dropping like flies. Zeus was on the ground moaning, Hermes and Apollo were laying on one another, unconscious, and Ares was getting a huge wedgie from a Cyclops. The rest of the gods were still fighting, but they were losing fast. Colleen shook her head.

"Guys are so stupid."

Megan nodded, "Yea, never send a man to do a man's job, let alone a woman's job."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Liz inquired, stretching her back, "Let's go kick some Titan ass."

* * *

The Titans thought they were winning, they really did. But suddenly the tide turned as a swarm of angry screaming goddesses launched themselves at the evil immortals. Asevil and as well-armed as they were, the evil immortals were no match for the new goddesses. Jason, who had somehow managed to survive the onslaught, joined the fight once more, crashing and bashing in many demon heads with his hammer and large random volcanoes. If this wasn't enough to dissuade the invaders, the antics of the goddesses certainly were.

A streak of crimson could be seen dashing about. It was Megan, branding iron smoking and cattle prod sparking. From one Titan head to another she leapt, branding eyes and shocking faces, all the while laughing with glee. "Now THIS is fun!" she yelled. Nicole on the ground, shooting pink bubbles at imps, had to agree. Suddenly a huge Cyclops came charging at the goddess. Nicole took a side step and quickly began clapping her hands in a constant rhythm. The Cyclops growled and made a move to attack again, but found that his feet were moving on their own accord. Howls of frustration erupted as he began dancing faster and faster. Nicole giggled with delight, twisting around to blow a honeyed kiss at a troop of advancing demons. They stopped in their tracks, grinning broadly, dying from their own insane happiness. Megan looked down from atop a Titan's head, which she was beating senseless, and shuddered.

"That's really scary Nicole."

Katie gave a chuckle as she heard Megan say this. "Hey Nicole, bet I can make these guys dance better than you can!" She yelled, reducing two Titans to piles of wriggling flesh, spewing out stupid jokes. The brunette's eyes narrowed.

"You're on."

Meanwhile, on the other end of the battlefield, Lindsay was having her own troubles. They redhead had somehow managed to get herself blockaded into a corner, with sinister enemies on all sides. A large Titan sneered at the nonchalant goddess. "You're mine." he hissed. Lindsay rolled her eyes.

"Honestly, what is it with these corny one-liners you Greeks have? Oh and by the way," she added, her face darkening, "You disturbed our banquet. That annoys me."

Before the Titan could respond, something fell out of the sky, landing on him. It was a huge sloth, covered in poison-tipped barbs. Not waiting for a reaction, the redhead goddess let loose a volley of curses and sprung into the mass of demons, smacking all within her reach with a blazing hermit staff. Those who were missed began to run away in terror. Lindsay chased after them.

As the green-clad goddess ran by, Sonomi stopped beating an imp over the head to wave. Then she went back at her pummeling again, as her teddy bear army darkened the sky. Nearby, Sarah was engaging a shadowy demon thing in a sword-fight, and winning spectacularly. The demon gave a cry as her sword sank into his flesh, calling for reinforcements. Suddenly Sarah found herself surrounded by an army of chittering little imps, fangs glistening and teeth bared. After taking out a few with her sword, the goddess gave a shrill whistle. The army never had a chance as huge nightmarish creatures began coming out of the ground around them. Sarah giggled in delight as the imps were disemboweled, decapitated, and utterly mutilated at the hands of her creatures.

A large group of Titans were clustered in the far corner of the battlefield, surrounding three goddesses. Colleen was doing her best to keep the ferocious beings at bay, but they kept throwing spears at her, causing her to lose concentration. "Aubrey! Lauren!" she yelled, "Hurry up and help me!"

Lauren chewed a nail frantically. "They're not cute!" she cried, wringing her hands in dismay. "I don't know what to do!" Suddenly an idea popped into her mind. Just as the largest Titan was advancing on the trio, Lauren gave a high-pitched warble. Suddenly a cloud could be seen on the horizon. As the Titans watched, the dark mass came closer, revealing itself to be a group of presumably single girls. Lauren then started shouting "They took away all the hot guys! Get them!" The girls gave a collective scream of fury and launched themselves at the frightened immortals, biting, kicking and clawing.

"Hey, leave some for me." Aubrey yelled, commanding long ribbons of cotton and silk. Soon the Titans were dressed groin to thigh in size 0 miniskirts, screaming in pain. Colleen grinned and took on the remaining enemies, leaving them defenseless on the ground, eeping for dear life.

"How are you doing Liz?"

The spiky-haired goddess did not reply. She was too busy with an attack from two sides. "You all are so screwed." she said, tapping the ground with her staff. As the duck on the end grew red and started spewing out fire, a strange looking creature emerged from the ground. It resembled the corpse of a rotting gremlin, with a wicked smile and some evil intentions. Letting loose an earth-shattering scream, it began pouncing on enemy soldiers one-by-one, ripping them to shreds. But Liz wasn't about to let her creation have all the fun. Resuming a fighting stance, the goddess of pranks kicked major butt with fists, legs and staff. (A/N: I personally think of Rafiki from Lion King here) A large Cyclops came lumbering up quietly behind the goddess, but never got anywhere near Liz.

"Hey Ugly!"

The Cyclops looked up to see Becca standing on a ledge, looking smug. With a swing of his giant club, the Cyclops advanced. Becca rolled her eyes and gave him the iciest glare ever. With a thud, the giant dropped his weapon and began clutching his frozen chest. Becca gave a small chuckle.

"Aww, poor baby has an ouchie? Let's see if we can fix that."

She then proceeded to insult him and burn him with her sarcasm, leaving behind only a smoking trail and a block of ice presumed to be his heart. Turning, Becca gave a high-five to Marjorie, who had just popped up and was strangling a demon, and then proceeded to find her next victim.

The battle raged on fiercely, with a huge casualty tally. That is, for the enemies, and by the afternoon the Titans had fled, high-tailing it back to Tartarus where it was safe. Pan had been spotted and castrated by Megan, who was still gloating about it, and over all peace had been restored. With a rising cheer the goddesses picked themselves out of the rubble, congratulating each other on a job well done. Katie and Nicole had just decided on a tie for their little contest, when Artemis, Hera and Athena appeared. Hera looked around the mess, giving a satisfactory nod.

"Well done. You all are definitely top-notch goddesses."

A groan behind them granted attention- it was the gods waking up. Lauren gave a squeal and went to go see her Ares, making sure that he was OK. All the gods were stunned to see how the battle had played out. Zeus walked forward and grudgingly stuck out his hand.

"Good job girls."

The goddesses looked at each other and grinned. Lindsay took a step and grasped the god's hand in a mighty handshake. "Anytime." she said cheerfully.

Suddenly, the sun seemed to dim. The immortals looked around fearfully, ready for attack once more. It wasn't until the green light appeared that the goddesses began to realize what was happening, but by then it was too late. With a final hasty wave good-bye, the thirteen immortals were soon swept up in a swirling green light.

When the teens finally opened their eyes, they were in their school, sitting around the orchestra room as they did each morning. Lauren, realizing that she was now making out with a chair, quickly leapt up. "We're back?" she sighed. The rest of the immortals nodded glumly. Then Megan started to laugh.

"I think we may still have our powers." she said, holding up her branding iron.

"Yea," said Katie,as the door to the orchestra room opened to let students in for the school day, "And we're still in our goddess costumes."

_And so concludes the tale of the nine goddesses who became thirteen immortals in Mount Olympus. Morale of the story? Too much pizza and candy is a great drug. This was the ending I had since I figured out what the hell this story was going to be, and I decided to stick with it, even if the information is a little outdated and you all hate me for it. Thanks to everyone who read. _


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